Logan in a New Light
by
Byte
This is work of fan fiction and not for profit: Cielie and Black Rose are original characters, but Logan and the X-Men belong to Marvel and Fox.
White Light, Critical Care...
Tears stung Logan's eyes as he approached the lifeless form almost battered beyond recognition.
"Are you the one who identified the patient?" A young doctor stepped in between him and the bed protectively. "I'm Doctor Hughes. Are you family or a friend of the patient?"
"What happened?" he asked in a deadly quiet voice of suppressed rage.
"She's the victim of a crime, I'ld like to know who you are before-"
"I'm-" his voice caught in his throat. He swallowed hard. "I'm all she's got right now. Cielie doesn't have any family."
""Cielie..., the artist?" The doctor glanced down at the chart where the nurse had penciled in her name. "I didn't know, I like her stuff. All right, anyway, the police found her in the alley near the Creative Center for Challenged Artists... ummm, apparently several hours after she had walked out the door. Witnesses there said she stepped outside when she thought she heard the taxi. Normally, people there wait inside for the driver to come and escort them out. Apparently, she didn't this time."
"Damn... is she going to be all right?"
"There was a lot of internal bleeding, a few broken ribs, a severe blow to the head. She was in surgery for hours. It got a little complicated when we found all that scaring from previous operations, but we managed to patch things up."
"She had been in a serious accident several years ago," Logan whispered. "Lost her eyes then."
"I see. Well, she's breathing on her own and will recover from her injuries, but she's in a coma now and the longer she stays under... well, the chances of her coming out of it diminish."
"Who did this to her?" Logan asked even though he had a pretty good idea whom.
"They don't know. A detective has been assigned to the case. They'll want to talk to her if she wakes up."
"When, Doc, when she wakes up. I'm not leaving 'til she does."
"Good. Sometimes talking to coma patients helps bring them around."
Logan sniffed and glanced around Critical Care for the first time. "Is there a phone around here?"
"Yeah, at the desk. Come on, I'll show you."
Logan followed the doctor out of the room. First, he would call Jean and let her know he found Cielie and then call a florist for a dozen Sterling roses. He hated the smell of hospitals and wanted to surround them with the scent of her favorite flower. Once all that was arranged, he pulled up a chair next to the bed on her right side and held her hand.
"Come on, Cielie, it's me, Logan." Nothing. "What the hell were you thinking?! You should always wait for the taxi to come in and get you, damn it! You know better then that and you were always going on and on about how you could take care of yourself!"
He sighed and took a deep breath as he brought her fingers to his lips. "Sorry, I'm sorry. The last thing you need is me yelling at you." He put her hand back down on the bed and covered it with his, lacing his fingers through hers.
"I tried calling you. I kept calling and when you didn't answer, I got worried. It was a couple of days ago after I- I "met" Black Rose- or whatever her name is, but what were you doing mixing with someone like that? I kept calling and when you didn't answer, I stopped by your place a couple of times and you weren't there. I thought maybe I just kept missing you when you were out, but I knew you taught a class at the Center every Wednesday. I knew you probably wouldn't like me checking up on you, but when they said they hadn't seen you since Monday... Jean sensed something was wrong and that's when I started hitting all the police stations and hospitals looking for you.
"You really should carry some sort of identification on you- the Center keycard doesn't cut it. Just because you don't drive, you can still get an ID card. We'll take care of that when you wake up. Please, Cielie, come back."
He stared at the swollen black and blue eyes, willing them to open. Even though she was blind, they were usually partially open when she was wake. Damn... and to have to wake up to this. Her jaw wasn't broken, but her nose was and since it had already been reconstructed once, the doctor wasn't sure how well they were able to fix it. He sighed, wondering if he would ever see that shining smile of hers again, or if this had finally crushed it.
Abruptly, he let go of her hand and lifted up the sterile blanket. He had to see it and what shape the rest of her was in. The rose tattoo and her breasts- the regular one and the smaller misshapen one- were untouched, but the rest of her... huge, bloody bruises and stitches ravaged the flabby soft skin. They had shaved her and a catheter tube snaked out from between her legs, looking like an ugly violation. Most of the injuries were on her left side as though the assailant had kicked her when she was down. The blanket fell as Logan clenched his fists and felt the blades under his skin itching to pop out and do some damage. Whoever did this to her was going to be brought into Critical Care as well... in pieces.
He took another calming breath to calm down and slipped one hand under the covering. He laid it gently over her tattooed ribs and held her hand again. "I know it's going to hurt like hell all over again, darlin, but you've got to come back." He gazed at the still face and caressed her fingers. "Hell, who am I to talk about how life is worth living... all the pain and ugliness... but that's just it-".
"Oh my, but aren't these beautiful!" Roses filled the air as a nice matronly nurse bustled in with a dozen of them arranged in a vase. "What an unusual color! You ordered these? My, but aren't you a sweetheart! They're beautiful. I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of putting them in a vase for you with water and a packet of that stuff they always throw in the box to make them last longer."
"That's fine."
"I'll just set them right here on the stand so that she'll see them when she wakes up- after she sees you, of course. Oh my God, what am I saying? She's the blind one, right? Well, you know what I mean. She'll know you're here and that they're here when she wakes up. And believe me, she will wake up! I've seen worse cases pull through just fine. And she's so blessed to have someone like you by her side. I've seen so many cases- so many Janes and Johns come through here- and no one ever shows up to claim them and they just slip away... But that's not going to happen here! She's going to wake up just fine! Now you let me know if you need anything- I'm right out here."
"Fine. Thanks." Logan breathed a sigh of relief when Nice Nurse finally left. He knew she meant well, but he started chaffing under the cannonade of kindness and almost snapped at her.
"Anyway, you've got to come back, Cielie. You bring life and beauty into this world- that's worth fighting for. I'll help you through it, you won't be alone this time, but you've got to come back. We'll make it through this. Please come back, Cielie. The world- hell- I need your beauty and warmth..."
***
Paradise...
The colors were even more brilliant then she remembered: bright blue skies, vivid green grass and trees, and flowers every where in vibrant reds, pinks and lavenders. And she couldn't believe her body when she looked down. She saw two perfect breasts and a firmer figure with no flab- and no scars- like before the accident. And she could see it all with her eyes! She had her eyes back!
This was truly paradise and Cielie could stay here forever. At first, she had been surrounded by this White Light of peace and purity, like walking in a tunnel until she came out into this place. It was perfect... except that she was alone... as always.
Okay, fine... he didn't stay in her life and he said he couldn't, and that was that. She agreed one night would be enough for her. Well, she believed it at the time, but as the days stretched into weeks, night after night she found herself back at his sculpture, reliving it over and over again. She could almost feel his touch and hear his voice as her fingers ran over his miniature figure.
His musky masculine scent was forever imprinted in her memory and she would give anything to smell it again. No one else came close. The men on the streets, at the store, or at the Center, were repulsive to her. She didn't dare bring in another male model because he simply couldn't be replaced. She tried working with a female, a very voluptuous and pretty one named Rose, but it wasn't turning out right. It just wasn't the same. His was the last statue that mattered; she couldn't bring herself to do another one. So what, though. Now she could see again and paint to her heart's content.
And then she saw it. It was the most magnificent flower she had ever seen. The exquisite opalescent color and the shape and intricacy of the petals was breath taking. She didn't realize how long she stood there studying it until the day quickly turned into night and a full moon filled the sky. Even then, she couldn't turn away because the change in lighting created new perspectives with its shadow.
She was so absorbed in the flower that she didn't hear him approach. It wasn't until she caught his scent in a breeze that she became aware of another presence. It couldn't be. Slowly, she turned around and there he was in all his glory under the moonlight exactly as she had pictured him. She blinked and rubbed her eyes... he was still there, coming to her. Oh my God... she could see him and he was more ruggedly handsome then she ever imagined. Swirls and swirls of dark hair covered rippling muscles, the weird sideburns and hair- but somehow it worked on him- and his... well, she knew it was huge, and now she could see how marvelously manly it was. The animalistic features and dark eyes showed strength of character instead of the rage- just like she knew it could be for him. And those lips looked as luscious as they felt against her skin.
"Logan! I can see! I can see you!" He merely smiled, took her hand and brought her fingers to his lips. "Oh God, I can see you..." She went wild, touching everything she couldn't see before on him.
Suddenly, he stopped the touch-and-see frenzy by crushing her to him in his arms as he brought his lips down on hers. Her lips didn't need nudging, she readily opened her mouth to him, drinking in everything he gave her. Tears started streaming down her cheeks and he kissed them away. He laced his fingers through her long, limp hair and kissed her again and again until she couldn't breath.
She broke away with a sigh and took a little step back. She ran her hands down her body in elation. "See, Logan? This is how I looked before the accident and gained all that weight. I was prettier then- I mean, I am now again. Now I'm prettier."
He answered by delicately cupping her beautiful breasts in his powerful hands. He caressed them with his thumbs as he kissed her again and she cooed with contentment. Hunching over, he kissed his way down her throat and chest until he found a rosey point and took it in his mouth. He tickled it with his tongue until the flesh formed a hardened peak. It was so thrilling to actually see him at her breast, and his hair, his broad shoulders, that tears of joy wet her eyes again.
Abruptly, he picked her up. He swung her in his arms and her laughter filled the forest. He carried her to a small clearing and she gasped, overwhelmed by the sight. A huge pile of petals- her favorite, no less- had been spread out on the verdant grass. He walked into the middle of it, dropped to his knees and laid her down. He stretched out beside her, entwining their legs together as he massaged her body. Oh God, it was so intoxicating being able to look up into his eyes... "I can't believe you're here!"
His caresses circled down to the dark mound between her legs and beyond as his mouth came down on hers. His tongue teased her lips a part while his fingers parted the delicate folds of satiny skin. All of a sudden, his finger plunged deep into her at the same time his tongue pushed its way into her mouth. Cielie shuddered in erotic surprise as she drew her leg up and open outside of his. His tongue and finger began a simultaneous rhythm of penetration into the warm wetness of her openings until she was wreathing wantonly.
When she reached for him, he pulled away with a smile. He slid his hand down the thigh of the inside leg to her knee. He pushed it up to her chest as he scooted down between her legs, and then brought it down on the other side of him. Slipping a hand under her rump, he it lifted up and she braced her legs while he reached for something and shoved it under her. She lowered herself on to what felt like a puffy pillow. Where did that come from? It lifted her hips up a couple of inches off the ground comfortably, making it easier for him to get at her and for her to watch what he was doing.
Seeing him between her legs was even more arousing then it had been at her breast. He slid his hands down the inside of her thighs. "Oh God, this is so unbelievable... I can't believe you're here and to be able to see you and how- ooooOOOoooo..." she cooed as he spread her open again and buried his face there. He tickled the prize of her pleasure with his tongue and licked it until it swelled enough for him to get it between his lips. He sucked and nibbled on it gently until she cried out with passion. He kept up a steady wave of peaking pleasure between tonguing and touching her inside with his fingers until she demanded he take her totally.
He came down on top of her then, pressing his manhood lightly against her opening. He let the anticipation build as she gazed up into his dark, exotic eyes before his lips came down on hers. He entered her at the same time his tongue penetrated her mouth again. His thrust was deliciously deeper with her pelvis elevated and when he got up on his arms, they both watched the joining of their genitals build to the ultimate climax. It felt like every cell in her being was on erotic fire.
Basking in the afterglow, he rolled off and stretched out on his back so that she could get a good look at him. ~Come on, Cielie, it's me, Logan.~
"What?" She glanced up from studying his cock. He smiled seductively and she realized he hadn't said a word yet the whole time he's been here.
~What the hell were you thinking?!~
"What? What do you mean? What's going on?" She was looking directly at him, but his lips weren't moving. His voice was coming from some place else.
~Sorry, I'm sorry...~
"Logan, what's going on? Why aren't you talking to me normal?"
~I kept calling and when you didn't answer, I got worried.~
Cielie sprang up, glancing around. "I don't understand, it's perfect here, why be worried and why throw your voice?" The same serenity stayed on his face.
~Come on, come on! Come back, Cielie..~.
"Do you want to tell me what's going on?"
~...What were you doing mixing with someone like that?~
"Mixing with who? You?" Nothing. "All right, I don't get what's going on here, but I'm going to go find out. Will you still be here when I get back?" The smile faded into an unreadable mask.
~We'll take care of that when you wake up. Please, Cielie, come back.~
"But I am a wake! Tell me what's going on?" Unexpectedly, a warmth spread across her ribs as though someone had laid a hand on her tattoo. She looked down as it spread to her hand, but nothing was there.
~I know it's going to hurt like hell all over again, darlin...~
"But it doesn't! And I can see!" As she retraced her steps from before, Logan's voice, the roses, and the warmth on her side got stronger.
~Hell, who am I to talk about how life is worth living... all the pain and ugliness...~
"But it isn't here! It's beautiful here, you can see that can't you?" She glanced back and shrieked. Logan and the forest were gone. The White Light was all around her again, but this time, the air was filled with the scent of her favorite roses. She was lost now and had no choice. She had to follow the fragrance and his voice.
~You've got to come back...~
"I'm not liking this. You're leading me back to the forest, right?
~You bring life and beauty into this world...~
"I did, but I don't want to anymore. I like it here where I can just see the beauty and see you!"
~I'll help you through it, you won't be alone this time...~
"I'm not alone. You're here with me now. I want to stay here with you- where I can see!"
~Please come back, Cielie. The world- hell- I need your beauty and warmth...~
"No! There isn't any beauty there! It hurt me! Someone hurt me!" Suddenly, she was drowning in the darkness of pain as her head exploded. Her whole body was in agony again like the accident... only worse. "I can't see! I want my eyes back! It hurts too much and I can't see..."
***
Paradise lost...
"...And then I said, "What do they call you? "Wheels"?" Logan was re-accounting the tale of his introduction to the X-Men again. He had run out of things to talk about and was never a creative storyteller in the first place. "You have to admit, even telling you about it now, it still sounds kind of stupid. I was supposed to trust these people with names like, "Storm" and "Cyclops", talking about people like, "Magneto" and "Sabertooth"? It was just too weird, but it seemed-"
He stopped at the sudden intake of breath. Words tumbled out in a hoarse whisper as her eyelids fluttered open. "Noooo! I can't see! I want my eyes back! It hurts too much!"
"Cielie? Oh my God, Cielie! It's me darlin, you're going to be okay."
"No, no, no, I want my eyes back!" Monitors started spiking as her agitation grew.
"Oh my, what's going on?" Nice Nurse rushed in and Logan backed up out of the way.
"No, no! I can't see! I want to stay, I want my eyes! Please let me stay here!" Cielie was fairly screaming now and thrashing around. "Let me stay with you where I can see!"
"I don't know, she just woke up like that! What the hell is going on?!"
Another nurse appeared at the door. "The doctor's been paged."
"Please don't make me go," Cielie wailed.
"Good, the doctor's on his way. Now I'm going to have to ask you to leave." Nice Nurse authoritatively drove him out the door.
"But what's wrong?!" The doctor pushed past him, followed by the other nurse with a syringe.
"Just hang on, I'll come get you when we've got it under control. Now don't you worry." With that, she closed the door in his face as Logan looked on helplessly.
It got very quiet, but he didn't stop pacing until the door opened and everyone came out. "How is she?"
"She's resting now," answered Doctor Hughes.
"But the coma?"
"Oh, she's out of the coma, but experiencing some sort of trauma. She needs to rest now and should sleep the rest of the day."
"But what happened? What was she talking about?"
The doctor sighed. "Probably a dream. People can experience different things in a coma. It really sounds like she was in a better place and didn't want to come back. And with the beating she took, I don't blame her..."
She was back, but not 100%. Logan couldn't leave until he knew she was okay and what she remembered. He was afraid the fear of what happened would freak her out more and he wanted to be here for her. Nice Nurse brought him coffee and a sandwich before going off duty. It stayed where she left it on the table, untouched.
It wasn't until late into the night before Cielie stirred again. "Logan?"
"I'm here, darlin, I'm here. How do you feel?"
"Woozy," she answered in a sing-song, sleepy voice. "Why did you make me come back? It was soooooo beautiful."
"Where, darlin?"
"-And I could see. I had my eyes back, and my body, and it was sooooooo beautiful. And I saw you... just like I imagined... in the moonlight."
"You must have been dreaming, darlin."
"No, it was reeeeeal. It felt real- I came several times before you like you always made sure before. It was soooo wonderful... to watch..." And then she was asleep again.
That must have been some dream, but reality hadn't set in yet. He got up, stretched, and cracked his neck. He figured he had another couple of hours before she came around again and decided it was safe to go downstairs and get more food.
***
He had a good idea the jealous little tramp did it, but he scanned the newspaper anyway to see if the police had any leads. He sipped the coffee again and grimaced. No amount of cream would take the industrial bitterness out. He was tempted to call the Mansion and see if anyone could bring him real coffee and food when he heard the gasp.
"Who's there? Don't hurt me!"
"Cielie, it's me. You're safe now. You're here in-"
"Don't hurt me..." she shuddered and then drifted off again. Logan sighed. The paradise had been left behind now in her consciousness and he wondered if she was ready for reality.
Reality hit later that day. "What- what happened? Where am I? Logan?" Cielie winced in pain and shifted in the bed.
"I'm here, darlin." he answered, holding his breath. Here was the moment of truth.
"Oh God, it hurts all over. What happened?"
"You don't remember?"
"No... I was at the Center and I was waiting- ooooohhhh!" she gasped and burst into tears as she shrank back into the pillows. "Oh God, why did they hurt me?! Why??"
Logan sprang up and tried to get his arms around her as best as he could. He sat down on the edge of the bed and leaned over her protectively.
"I don't know, darlin, tell me what happened."
"I- I heard a honk." Cielie sobbed. "I thought it was the taxi. I hate waiting inside like a baby, so I went out and then someone grabbed me! And- and- pulled me away. I screamed and- and they hit me on the head! I screamed, but no one came to help me! I said, please don't hit me, but- but they punched me- in- in the face! I screamed, "why me?? What did I do??" Why were they hurting me?! And- and they- they hit me on the head again- and- and I went down- and they started kicking me! Why?! What did I do to them?!"
Logan took a deep breath to still the rage building inside him. "I don't know, but you're safe now." He held her until she pushed him a way weakly.
"Don't touch me, it hurts. Who did this to me?"
"You don't remember anything? Male? Female? Height? How many there were?"
"Nooo, it happened so fast. I don't know, but who would want to hurt me??"
"I'm going to find out," he hissed as he got up off the bed.
Cielie screamed and clutched at his arm. "No! Don't leave me! Don't leave me alone!"
"All right, all right, I'm here, " he soothed, taking her hand. "I'm staying right here. You're safe now. You rest now, I'm right here."
He made sure the police were there the next time she woke up. "They're going to ask you what happened and one of them will stay with you until I get back."
"Why? Where are you going?" she asked anxiously grabbing for his hand.
"Darlin, I've been here for several days now. I really should get cleaned up and get some decent food. You're safe now." He put her hand down and patted it reassuringly. "Just do your best to answer their questions and I'll be back soon."
She nodded reluctantly, hugging herself.
He waited at the door to see if she cooperated with them. She more or less told them the same story, which wasn't much for them to go on, and that was fine. He knew who did it, he just wanted them there so that she felt safe enough to rest while he was gone. It wasn't exactly a lie- eventually he would end up at the Mansion- after taking the long way home.
"No one's going to hurt you anymore," he whispered as he left, "I guarantee it."
***
Harsh Light, Back to the Red Light...
The bartender barely had time to register anyone was there- let alone being slammed up against the wall- but there was no mistaking the blade under his chin. Or the deadly intentions of the dangerous dude pinning him in place. He recognized him right way as the joker Rose wanted zonked.
"Tell me where to find her," the guy snarled softly.
"Who?" The blade drew blood. "Rose? Hey, easy, fella. It wasn't my idea. She told me it was a joke and that you wouldn't mind- like it was a surprise party or something." The blade cut deeper and the bartender yelped. "All right, all right, I'll tell ya!"
The bartender told him and then blanched as he raised his fist. Snikt. The blade disappeared into the guy's knuckle. That wasn't possible, was it? "What the hell...?"
"Just so you don't call her with a warning." The fist connected with his jaw. It felt like it being smashed by steel-plated knuckles. That wasn't possible either, was it...?
***
Logan took the stairs two at a time as another scream was muffled and broke down the cheap door of the seedy apartment house. On the bed, a nasty thug was forcing himself on Black Rose, his hand raised to smack her again. Logan grabbed the fist, hauled him off the bed and tossed him aside like trash.
"Logan!" Black Rose cried in relief, struggling to sit up. "Oh God, he was going to kill me! He was-"
"Nah, I'm going to do that." He wrenched her up by the shoulders and pushed her against the wall, ignoring her screech of pain. "You hurt Cielie."
"No, no!" She squealed, pointing to the scum on the floor. "He did it!"
He noticed for the first time her bleeding lip, the black eye, and the bruises belted on her perfect body. He loosened his hold a little. "Why," he growled. "What the hell did she do to him?"
"He- he," she stammered, sucking in air even though he wasn't choking her. "He found out she- she was a famous artist and she was- she was doing me and then I'ld be rich and famous cause everyone would see me- my- my body. He got furious! Said no one was touching me or looking at me except him. Said I wasn't worth nothing to no one else. But you- you saved me, Logan! I knew you'ld come for me!" She started sobbing and moved to fall in his arms.
"Shut up!" Rose froze in fright. "He beat Cielie because you modeled for her?" Stunned, she stared up at him and he shook her hard. "Answer me!"
"Y-y-yes."
"He beat the hell out of Cielie because of you."
"I'm sorry! I didn't know he would. I wanted to be famous. I needed the money!"
"You little tramp, I swear-" Logan heard the guy get up and lunge for him. He took that as an open invitation to strike back and take no prisoners. He let go of Black Rose and whirled in time to block the blundering blow.
All Logan saw was Cielie's battered face as he pounded the guy without mercy until he heard Black Rose scream that he was dead. He turned on her then, and stopped in mid-swing when he saw her on her knees. Her head was bowed, ready to take whatever punishment he dished out.
"I'm sorry she got hurt because of me," she whispered.
Catching his breath, Logan looked down on her pitiful playboy perfection. Forgiveness was out of the question, but she had been kicked around enough already. He straightened and cracked his neck as he squared his shoulders. "Don't even think of ever going near her again."
He stalked out, trailing blood on his boots from the mess on the floor that had been a human being.
***
Home Care...
Several days later, Cielie was released to Logan's care. She was still very weak and not fully recovered, which basically meant bed rest. He promised the doctor he would look after her in spite of her protest that she could take care of herself.
After he had taken care of the "situation" with Rose, he had gone back to the Mansion and ate everything in sight. Afterwards, he checked in with the hospital where Nice Nurse assured him Cielie was resting peacefully. It would do him good stay home and get a good night's sleep. If anything happened, she promised she would call him right away.
He came back the next day to find Cielie totally withdrawn and pushing him away when he tried to comfort her. She said it hurt too much even though she didn't have any problem with the nurses handling her. Was it him personally, or was she afraid of men in general now?
The nightmares started that night, but she insisted on knowing the truth of what happened. He hadn't planned on giving her the details, however, after thinking about it, he realized it might help her believe there was no more threat. First, he wanted to know how she had found the model to begin with.
She said Rose- that was her real name- had answered an ad for a female model. He explained everything then, except for the part about being held captive for a night by Rose. "I knew it had to be her- the way she talked about you. She was bad news, couldn't you see that?"
"Noooo, I can't see, remember?"
"Don't pull that poor blind girl thing on me now. You know damn well what I mean. The way you sense and size up people is the same thing."
"She seemed nice," Cielie stated sullenly. "Had a hard life, but seemed like she was trying to make things better for herself. I just wanted to give her a break and her body- wow! I was going to go for an Aphrodite angle... how was I supposed to know? The same way I was suppose to know there was someone sneaking up behind me?"
Logan let that slide and went on about trying to get a hold of her and how he finally found her.
"She didn't seem that strong. I thought it was a man..."
"She didn't actually do it herself, it was her scumbag "boyfriend". It wasn't hard to track them down. She was pretty beaten up herself, so I-"
"So you just took it out on him and beat the hell out of him." She stated in defeated docility.
"I made sure he would never hurt you- or anyone else- again." Logan answered defensively.
"The police could have taken care of that by locking him up..."
He didn't know what to say and she shutdown from him even more. Her face became an unreadable mask behind the dark glasses. Now he was carrying her up the stairs to her place and she hadn't said a word since then. He dropped her overnight bag inside the door and sat her down on the couch.
"Thank you," Cielie said, trying to sound okay. "You can get going now. I'll be fine."
"I was planning to stick around for awhile."
"No, just go. I don't want to be anymore trouble."
"It's no trouble, I want to help you. Take it easy here and I'll get you ready for bed where you'll be more-"
"No!" She snapped sharply. "I don't need your help! I mean, I can take care of myself."
"Cielie, there's nothing wrong with accepting help when you need it. It doesn't mean you're not self-sufficient- especially when you're in so much pain. You just need some help to get back on your feet."
Startling Logan, Cielie burst into tears from the pain and pent-up emotions. "No! Don't you get it!? I don't want your help- you'll just leave again! Oh God, it hurts! But it'll hurt more when you leave me again! Oh God, you'll just walk out again and I'll- I'll be alone again, so just go! Get out of here! I DON'T WANT TO NEED YOU AGAIN!"
He stared at her stunned. "Cielie, I had..." Hunched over in pain, she put her hands to her ears to block out his voice. He paused at the door and turned back. She looked so assailable and alone... broken body. Broken heart?
He glanced at the crushed clay in the work area and clenched his fist in frustration. It was all her fault- the little tramp. He was there to get clothes for Cielie to wear home and there it was. A miniature version of Black Rose's voluptuous vitality staring up at him with those empty eyes.
Seeee-leeee went on and on about you and your woooooonderful night together! How wild and uninhibited you were, but she didn't know how to appreciate a body like yours. I do. He reacted without thinking and it felt good to pulverize her. It never occurred to him that he had actually destroyed one of Cielie's creations until now. Broken art...
It took all his nerve to ignore the sobs starting behind the door he closed. He never meant to hurt her. He made it crystal clear that night she meant a lot to him even though he couldn't promise a future together. That seemed to be okay or he never would have stayed the night. What women doesn't dream of the handsome stranger coming in the night to sweep her off her feet and give her a night she'll always remember? Yeah, remembered and now regretted.
He was half way down the stairs when he heard the fall and then smelled the blood and urine. By the time he got back to the door, she was hysterical. He tried to push it open, but it had locked behind him. He popped a claw and took the knob off with one swipe. He made a mental note to replace it later.
She was curled up on the floor by the coffee table, clutching her side. Blood had soaked through her shirt and her jeans were wet. Cielie didn't swear much, but she let loose now. "I just had to go to the fucking bathroom! Shit! I can't even go to the fucking bathroom! Oh God, it hurts like hell! Oh God, don't look. Don't fucking look! Oh God, oh God..."
"I know, I know, darlin." He said kindly as he kneeled down beside her. "Let's get you back on the couch."
"I can't! It fucking hurts like hell! I- I fell and hit the fucking table!"
"I know, I know, just hang on. I'm going to pick you up."
"But I peed in my fucking pants!" she wailed, turning beet red. "Oh God, I'm so embarrassed!"
"Don't be, it was accident. You just got out of the hospital, but we'll get you cleaned up."
"Oh God, no, don't look!"
"It's not anything I haven't seen before. Just try to relax."
"No! Get the fuck away from me!"
"Got news for you, darlin. I'm not leaving. Now, let's get you back on the couch." Keeping her curled up in the fetal position, he lifted her up. She screamed, but he kept going until he got her down on the couch, bleeding side up, and put a pillow under her head.
"Okay, that was the hard part. Let me take a look here." Snikt.
She gasped. "A-a knife?"
"It would hurt too much to move you around to get everything off." He carefully sliced the baggy shirt off.
"You- you carry a knife?" Cielie sobbed. She couldn't stop crying, but he ignored it. The emotional avalanche didn't rattle him as long as he was doing something to help.
"Sort of- I have no choice. I'll explain later." He retracted the claw and painstakingly peeled off the soaked bandages. "Okay, it looks like you bled through some of the stitches, but they're still intact."
"Oh God, my head hurts too!"
"I know, I know, take a deep breath and we'll get you cleaned up." He wasn't about to tell her that if she stopped crying, her head wouldn't hurt so much.
"All right, first, let's get some meds in you." He went to the kitchen area and got a glass of water. On the way back, he snatched up her overnight bag with all the supplies from the hospital. She gulped down a pain pill between sobs and he got all the bandages replaced without much fuss.
It didn't take long before she was calm and quiet, until he mentioned getting the smelly jeans off. That started a new barrage of blubbering as she turned beet red. "Oh God, I'm so embarrassed!"
"It's no big deal. I'll be right back."
"It's embarrassing!" she hollered after him.
He went to the bed and turned down the covers. He also folded up the ornate screens she used to create the "bedroom" to make it easier for him to move around and take care of her. There were no walls in the studio apartment and she liked having a separate area for each "room". Replace knob, put screens back later.
The long t-shirt she used for a nightie was hanging off the bedpost. He grabbed it, along with a fresh pair of panties and some tissues. He didn't know how he knew what he was doing, it just made sense. Maybe he had been a nurse once- not a nice nurse, though- in another lifetime, if such a thing was possible.
He popped one claw again and lanced the soiled jeans and panties off without jostling her around. He disregarded her demands to stop as he patted her dry as best he could with the tissues. Wouldn't she rather be clean? No? Too bad, darlin, I'm cleaning you up anyway. He managed to get her legs through the clean panties and pulled them up as far as her rump. That required lifting her hips off the couch a bit, but she didn't protest.
The sobs subsided as he laid the nightie over her like a blanket. The embarrassment was over and the pain pill had finally kicked in. "I was beautiful there..." she declared drowsily.
"You're beautiful now. Umm, I'm just going to throw all this stuff away, okay?"
"Had my eyes..."
"Garbage bags under the sink, right? I'll be right back." Door knob, screens, and take the garbage out.
"You saw me... I could see me..."
She was practically asleep by the time he came back. He shook her shoulder gently. "Cielie, darlin?"
"Hmmmm?"
"Can you sit up now? Let's get your nightie on and put you to bed." She only winced a little as he eased her up into a sitting position. "There we go. Now do you want your bra off?"
"Mmmm-hmmm."
"Okay, I won't shred it, I'll just reach back here now." He unhooked it and slipped it off. "There. Now, can you lift your arms? That's it, easy does it... no, that's not going to work." There was no way he was going to get the narrow neck of the t-shirt past the bandages on her head. Her arms started dropping as she sagged sleepily against him.
"Damn, knocked out already? Come on, Cielie, work with me here."
"Nah-ummmmm."
"Never mind, I'll do it." He locked her wrists over her head with one hand and popped a claw in the other. He neatly cut a V into the neck until it was wide enough for the shirt to come down without disturbing her face.
"There we go, all set! Come on, darlin." He scooped her up and carried her to bed.
The last thing Cielie remembered was how good it felt to be in his arms again. The last thing Logan remembered for his list was a beer and the cigar burning a hole in his jacket: door knob, screens, take garbage out, and run to Smiley's for a couple of cold ones before she wakes up...
***
Nightmares...
"It always starts the same," Cielie snuggled in Logan's arms. They had yet to get through a night now without her waking up screaming. "I'm in that beautiful place, and then- and then someone grabs me and starts beating me up."
"Maybe I should take you back to the Center so you know that it's safe now."
"No, no, no, I can't. I'm not ready yet."
"But you've been holed up in here for almost a week now. You need to get out some."
"I can't. Not yet. Why can't we just stay here?"
He let that pass. "Would you feel better if I taught you some self-defense?"
"Yeah, right, a blind girl carrying around a knife when she can't see who to use it on. You can carry one around- I can't."
"I don't- oh, that's right. Here..." He held his hand out, pointing away from them, and placed one of her hands under his palm. He put her other hand on top of his, placing her fingers in the grooves between the bones. He popped his claws out and she gasped as she felt them slide out from inside his hand.
"Oh wow!" She exclaimed as she explored his hand and arm.
"Careful, they can cut through anything."
"That's why the anatomy felt a little different- you said your arms were "enhanced". How does it work?"
"It's all muscle control. Here, put your fingers up here." He slid her hand up his arm and pressed her fingers into the space between the ulna and the radius. He retracted the claws and she felt them go back into place.
"Wow!" She slipped her fingers between his knuckles and found the skin whole. "So they break the skin here and then it heals every time after they go back in?"
"Yes."
"That's gotta hurt."
Logan shrugged indifferently. "I'm use to it."
"So why did you have them implanted?"
"I didn't. Let's just say it's all part of the mutation." Not liking where the conversation was going, he got up in a flash and fluffed the pillows behind her. "Feeling better? Do you think you can get back to sleep now?"
"Oh man, you were born with it?" It was too fascinating to let it go.
"No, it's- it's complicated and you need to rest."
"All right, I was just curious. G'night." She smiled weakly and rolled over on to her good side.
"It's not- I just don't like to talk about it." Now he was the one who couldn't back down.
"It's okay, I understand. Thanks for showing me how it worked."
He stared down at her bruised, stitched skin and then closed his eyes, remembering. He never needed stitches. Whatever that cold solution was in the tank, it slowed the healing factor down long enough for them to cut him open and graft the adamantium on his skeleton. And once he was out of it, everything healed up except for the pain. They didn't bother about anesthetics or any sort of a painkiller. They just dumped him in the tank, cut everything open, and then dumped him out. Logan shivered and shook his head against the ordeal. It was all right there as though it happened yesterday and not 15 years ago...
"I'm sorry you had to suffer like that." Cielie whispered.
Startled, Logan opened his eyes to find her on her back, facing him. Tears seeped through the puffy slits of her eyes.
"What? I thought you said you didn't read minds."
"I don't, silly. You were standing there and I heard how your breathing changed thinking about something bad. I just guessed if you didn't have them implanted, that means someone did it to you. I realized then- I mean, no wonder you have all that rage. I suppose that healing factor makes you the perfect test subject since they could see the results right away and not have to wait around for any swelling to go down. I know how much pain I'm in and I'ld hate for anyone else to have to go through it too."
He sat down on the edge of the bed, took her hand, and brought it to his lips with a sad smile. Tenderly, he kissed her fingers. "Its called adamantium, and my entire skeleton is covered with it. I don't know who did it, but it happened about 15 years ago..."
Back on the couch later, Logan studied the stars through the skylight as he listened to Cielie's soft snores. Worry lines creased his face and he couldn't sleep. She had told him about the heavenly forest that she was in with him before she woke up. Maybe his presence in her room had influenced her dream some how, but he had a feeling it was because he had been in her heart all this time. And now he was aggravating the situation more by sticking around.
She had said it again before finally going to sleep- how glad she was he was here. In fact, she said it a lot even though she also insisted she could take care of herself. The reality was he was doing it all. He got the meals, kept her and the place clean, and she wouldn't get out of bed unless he helped her. Most importantly, he was always right there to save her from the nightmares. She couldn't get through the night without him. It seemed like she was creating a little paradise of her own right here with him instead of facing the harsh light of reality. And he was enabling it.
It was time for him to move back to the Mansion and for her to get her life back, no matter how much it broke her heart or how afraid she was to be alone.
***
Self-reliance...
Cielie didn't start crying until after he had gone, even though it made her head hurt more. He told her that afternoon after her nap that he really needed to get back to the Mansion. There was a plate of leftovers warming in the oven and he would be back tomorrow. She calmly thanked him for all his help and assured him that she would be fine. However, he wasn't really supposed to believe her. He should have protested and insist on staying- not actually leave. The fact that he did was as bad as the scary silence settling around her.
"Fine! Go take care of your stupid X-Men stuff!" She shouted from her bed with angry tears at the empty apartment. "I don't need you! I don't! Don't! Don't!"
Eventually hunger and the need to go to the bathroom got her out of bed. Her legs wobbled weakly, but she made it to the toilet. She discovered his toiletries were still there and shoved them off the vanity with sudden strength. Some of his clothes were hanging on the pegs there for models to use. They were flung to the floor as well. "I don't need you! Don't bother to come back!"
Her head ached more from the exertion and she shuffled back to bed. She groped around for the pain medication on her nightstand, but it wasn't there. Damn it! Logan kept it in the kitchen since she wasn't supposed to take it on an empty stomach.
Shaking and swearing, she made it to the kitchen and collapsed on the counter; the counter they had made love on after creating a feast on each other's bodies. She had eaten here a million times since, reliving every sensual second. Now it made her burst into tears. "Why didn't you stay?!" she cried, slamming her fist down. "Owwww, damn it! Why didn't you want to stay with me?!"
Nausea set in, but she needed the pill, and that meant eating something. She shoved her hand into an oven mitt to take the leftovers out. Half way to the counter, the plate slipped out of her weak and wavering grip, smashing into a million pieces and splattering food all over.
Crying hard, she yanked open the refrigerator, snatched the bread out, and shoved several slices in her mouth. Not even bothering with water, she swallowed three pills instead of one. Hopefully, it would knock her out into next week where she wouldn't give a damn anymore.
She slept several solid hours before she was beaten up again. This time there was no paradise, the brutal blows came right out of the darkness. She woke up screaming and crying for Logan, but he didn't come. She huddled down in the blankets as every little sound her apartment seemed like an unknown threat. Eventually, she cried herself to sleep afraid and so alone.
Logan shoved his hands deep into his pockets to keep from breaking the glass and going down to her. He had walked out, but he couldn't leave her until he was sure she could handle it. He snuck up to the roof where he watched her through the skylight and it broke his heart. "Hang in there, darlin, you can do it. You're stronger then you think..."
***
Logan's Package...
She did better the next night and thankfully slept through the whole night after that. He came back during the day, but only stayed long enough to fix things up or to take her to the doctor's. Most of the stitches were gone now, and the bruises were fading away. They had done a good job on her nose and it would look pretty much the same once it healed.
She was depressed and didn't talk much, but the important thing was she could take care of herself and move around without difficulty. She was getting her self-reliance back, now he hoped her art was next, and maybe, just maybe he would see that bright, warm smile again.
"How about if I drop you off at the Center today and pick you up later?"
"Nah, I really don't want to. I'm not ready yet to- to go there."
"Then why don't you sculpt something here?"
"I don't know... I just don't feel up to it anymore."
"So what are you going to do- work in some gallery dusting off other people's art work?"
"Well, what's wrong with that? I mean, it's time for other people to do it. I don't feel like it anymore and I want to see what other people come up with."
"What about that flower you told me about in your dream? You said it was the most magnificent thing you had ever seen, I'ld like to see it too."
Cielie shrugged diffidently. "Yeah, well, it was just a dream. It doesn't mean anything anymore."
"That's it then, huh? I don't get to see it- no one gets to see it. You're just going to keep it all to yourself and be selfish."
"I'm not selfish- I help people all the time."
"I'm not talking about that, I'm talking about your gift. You're being selfish about your gift. When you see something beautiful, you have the means to show it to others."
"I don't want to anymore. I don't feel-"
"Lady, you don't get it. If I had a dream like that- or saw the birth of a baby, or saw someone getting their first kiss- it stays right here." He tapped his head and then remembered she couldn't see the gesture. "It stays right here in my head because there's no way I could paint it or sculpt it to save my life. But you can share what you find. You know how to express it!"
She stood there shocked as though he had slapped her in the face. The silence between them reeked of restiveness. He stood his ground until she finally admitted that he was right.
"Good! I'm really looking forward to seeing it. I'll stop by later and see how you're doing," he called as he opened the door.
"You don't have to."
"Oh that's right, damned if I do and damned if I don't."
"Now what's that suppose to mean?"
Logan shut the door and turned to face her. "If I stop by, I'm coddling you since you keep insisting you can take care of yourself. But if I don't stop by, you think I'm ignoring you. It's real hard, lady, to know where to stand with you." Silence. "Well? Okay, you tell me what you want. Do you want me to stop by or not?"
"Man! Aren't you just full of all sorts of pronouncements about my failings: selfish, hard to understand... Why do you even bother?"
"All right, I'll take that as a no." He opened the door again. "I'll stop by the day after tomorrow."
"Whatever." He hadn't taken more then two steps when he heard a curse and the door flew open. "Logan!"
He came back to find her pointing at the destroyed sculpture. "Oh...sorry. Do you need me to get you more clay?"
"Is that you're answer to everything? Just smash it if you don't like it? Just beat it up even though there's enough violence in the world?"
Tension was already running high between them and that accusation broke the floodgates he had been holding back. All the stress and strain from the whole ordeal came pouring out in an unstoppable torrent.
He slammed the door shut, and spoke in measured temper tones. "I. Told. You. There is a whole dark side of me you didn't want to know. Well, now you do- and don't that just burst your fantasy of the "handsome stranger".
Cielie started crying at the affront. "It's- it's not a-"
"Save your tears, darlin," snapped Logan. "This is reality. You put me on some damn idealistic pedestal and the reality is I belong in a cage."
"You're not an animal! I mean, just cause you call yourself "Wolverine" doesn't-"
"Darlin, it's how I use to make money! I beat the crap out of guys knowing- I knew- they couldn't take me down. No one could take me down! But night after night, the idiots would come in to the cage, so I took their money and beat the hell out of them. And yeah, it felt good, real good."
"But that isn't fair! You're a mutant- you've got that adam-stuff that makes you-"
"Lady, life isn't fair! It ain't fair what they did to me; it ain't fair you lost your sight; it ain't fair you got beat up and it ain't fair some sweet little kid from Mississippi can't ever touch anyone without killing them. Life. Isn't. Fair."
"I know, but-"
"It's ugly, it's brutal. But you do the best you can and you hang on to the things that matter, like people who care about you and want to help you. And using the gifts you have to make it a better world, but you don't hide in some damn Garden of Eden playing Adam and Eve.
"You have two choices in life- do the best you can be and try to make a difference, or hide behind your handicaps. Yeah, I have my demons, but I got out of the cage and now I'm learning to make a difference with the X-Men." He paused to take a breath and Cielie jumped in.
"But you hide too," she whispered in sharp contrast to his venomous voice. It cracked the air like a whip. "You use your non-existent past to hide from the future. Refusing to make any commitments, or plans, or letting yourself get attached to anyone because you don't know where you came from. That's just as much of a handicap as being blind. What- are you afraid that once your past catches up to you, it's going to change, or invalidate, who you are now? Why can't you face the future with who you are now?"
Now it was Logan's turn to reel with reality. He took a deep breath and then impulsively took her in his arms. "You're right... I'm learning that, too- who I am now. I'm just starting, but it's hard to share that with anyone else- especially if they can't accept the total package- the good and bad. Because there is bad stuff, darlin- ugly stuff- back there that scares the hell out of me. Hell, I don't know if I even accept the good and the bad in me, so how am I suppose to share that with someone else?"
"How were you going to share it with Jean?" she asked softly.
"What?" Logan released her and she took a step back.
"I know you had feelings for her- the way you went nuts over her portrait and her sculpture. Maybe you still do."
"That's different. She's a mutant. She understands-"
"And she's brilliant, gorgeous, and I'm just a blind, plain-jane human-"
"Hey, don't sell-"
"Alright, just a blind human, then, sculpting away in her little fantasy world. Well, "darlin", it's your fantasy world, too."
"Now wait a minute. I don't live-"
"What are you doing here, Logan?" she countered quietly.
"Damn it, what the hell? You know why- I care about you."
"And with me, you're in total control. Because I can't see you, you had more control in how you presented yourself. Maybe you liked being the "handsome stranger". If my image of you was idealistic, maybe that's how you wanted it. I mean, maybe you liked the idea of this fantasy world, because no matter how bad it got out there- and how vicious you could get- you still had this place to fall back on. You knew in the back of your mind that at least here there was a little blind girl swept off her feet by the "handsome stranger", and not a mutant, or a cage fighter, or someone with no past. Or..." she paused for emphasis, "...someone who couldn't get rejected because she can't see any competition."
Logan gasped. "That's- that's not-"
"You could see right away I lived a somewhat sheltered life and there hadn't been anyone else in my life for a long time. There wasn't anyone else around here for me to choose instead of you- and there probably wouldn't be one coming around again. Not only were you the "handsome stranger", but you were the one and only."
"But-"
"I know you walked out of here thinking you were never coming back. And that's fine- but it seems to me that when some bad reality started trashing this fantasy- you turned around and blamed me for not keeping it up. And that would have been a really good excuse not to ever come back again. It's my fault I lived in a fantasy world and my fault that it got ruined. But the truth of the matter is, I didn't build this fantasy world alone. So you have a choice- do you want the fantasy world or not- because if you do, we have to believe in it together."
"Damn, lady..." He stood there, taking in everything she had said. Finally, he nodded. "You're right... no more fantasy worlds."
***
New Light, Cielie's Package...
The room lightened considerably as they stood there regarding each other. The terrific tension was gone, but still no shining smile from Cielie. She had one more thing to air.
"Agreed, no more fantasy worlds, but then you have to take my total package. We both struggle with handicaps- mine's just more obvious then yours. And every time there's a new obstacle in my life, I have to learn how to deal with it. Maybe I don't always deal with it the best way because I am kind of idealistic. I mean, I do live in little fantasy worlds because that's where my creativity comes from. Creating something means imagining something that doesn't exist yet. And sometimes I have to imagine things are more beautiful then what they really are to paint- well, actually sculpt it now. And maybe sometimes I'ld like to believe something is more then it really is, but so what? I guess that's how I make a difference. Isn't that what art's all about- what my gift is? To get you to see beauty where you wouldn't have noticed it before; or to see it in something you never would have thought it could exist in unless you saw it in a new way... a new light, so to speak."
"There's a lot here to think about... c'mer." Logan took her in his arms again and she hugged him tight. "Life isn't fair, but it's full of learning."
"And art."
She looked up at him and there it was. Finally! That warm, brilliant smile of hers that lit up the universe and his heart.
"Damn! I never thought I'ld ever see that smile again!"
Cielie shrugged shyly as she went around him and opened the door. "Okay, well, you go think now, I've got work to do."
"What? Now?"
"Yes, I need to get to work while I feel the creative groove and you're a distraction."
"Who, me?"
"Yes, and you know you are!" she exclaimed, laughing. "Thanks for all your help." She pushed him through the door and closed it behind him.
"But don't you need to eat? Do you need me to get more clay? Don't you-"
"Good-bye, Logan, I'll see you tomorrow!" She called cheerfully through the door. He listened as she moved off. Soon, smooth jazz filled the air and he heard the chunk, chunk of a sculpting knife attacking clay.
Logan breathed a huge sigh of relief as though he had been holding his breath all this time. She was back and he couldn't be happier.
***
Special Delivery...
Logan signed for the delivery, thankful for once he was the only around. A three-foot crate from Del Rey Galleries could only mean one thing- Cielie. He was glad he didn't have to share the unveiling with anyone else. It could end up being something that meant more to him then he'ld like the others to know. After the hell she's been through, it was a safe bet that whatever was inside was probably going to be intense.
It had been weeks now since he saw her last. She wouldn't let him in the apartment unless everything was covered up, or she would already be outside her door, waiting impatiently to get to the doctors and then back to work. The last time he was there, she only opened the door a crack and poked her head out.
"Listen Logan, it's not that I don't want to see you, and I really appreciate all you did for me, but I'm really in this creative groove and have a lot going, and I hate anyone seeing anything unless it's done."
"Fair enough. I just wanted to make sure you were all right."
Big smile. "Thanks, I am. Actually, I've gained a few pounds, but I'm trying to loose them. Oh who cares! I haven't felt this kind of groove in a long time and it feels great!"
"Good for you. I'll leave you to it, then, but you know you can call me if you need anything?"
"Yes, I do. Thanks. See you later!"
She never did call and he didn't want to intrude, but now he could see the results of her "creative groove". The delivery man started prying open the crate. Logan stopped him, saying that he could take care of it himself, and sent him away with a nice big tip.
One claw took the top off easily and packing peanuts spilled to the floor. An engraved envelope addressed to him was on top of whatever was packed inside. The gallery was hosting an invitation-only opening of the "New Light" collection by Cielie, featuring the "Flower of Paradise". That must have been some creative groove.
Smiling proudly, he set the invitation aside and carefully reached into the packing peanuts until he felt another box. This he pulled out and put on the table in the foyer. It was heavy and about two feet high. He sliced the top off and peered inside only to find it was completely covered with a cloth. Getting impatient with all the layers, he cut the cardboard away and whipped off the covering.
It wasn't intense, but it was absolutely exquisite. A little brass plaque had been mounted on the base: Flower of Paradise for Logan to see by Cielie. He glanced at the invitation- there was one in the exhibit, so she had sculpted this one especially for him- or maybe this one was the original. It looked so real you could almost smell it. The large bloom was an unusual arrangement of delicate petals. It sat on top of a curved stem that had a vine wrapped around it with little blossoms of its own.
Later that day, Jean pointed out an important detail that he had completely missed. The shape of the smaller petals in the center formed the outline of a face, including what looked like a broken nose. Once he saw it, he recognized it instantly as Cielie's. What an interesting and unique self-portrait, Jean had commented, and he agreed.
He picked up the invitation again. He cringed at the idea of an artsy affair flowing with champagne and those fancy little unidentifiable hors d'oeuvre, but this was a big deal for Cielie. In a way, he was disappointed she didn't call him about it. Knowing her, though, she probably didn't want to put him on the spot by making him feel like he had to go. Including the invitation in the crate gave him the freedom to accept or decline without embarrassment. He grabbed the phone and called the gallery to RSVP and that he would be escorting the artist. And then he called Cielie.
***
Opening Night...
Cielie patted her hair one more time before nervously opening the door. It had been so long since she had a gallery opening- let alone a date- that she treated herself to an appointment at Chas's full body salon. Chas took one look at her legs and armpits and agreed she wasn't that great with a razor. Darling doll, this requires nothing less then a full waxing- the works, he had said.
They finished her off by putting her, darling-doll-you-really-should-use-conditioner, hair up in a totally tré chic braid with curls and covered the last of the bruising with makeup. Now she felt totally tré awkward and out of her element, in spite of Chas's final approval that she was just too tré sexy for words.
"Logan, come in! I'm so excited I can't stand it." Silence. "Logan? What's wrong? Oh God, I look stupid, don't I? Oh, I knew it! I knew I shouldn't have done this!" She started pulling at her hair, but strong hands snatched her fingers away and brought them to his lips.
"Stop! Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you, I just wasn't expecting- damn, but you took my breath away."
Cielie blushed and smiled, suddenly feeling very self-conscious. "Thanks. I guess I'm not use to getting all made up like this and I didn't know if looked all right."
Logan looked her over admiringly. The simple, long black dress accented her curves in all the right places and expertly hid the unflattering ones. A basic V-neck showed off some cleavage and black, high-heeled pumps made her legs look longer and leaner through the slits. All in all, she was captivating and he fought the urge to have his way with her.
"Let me see how you look." Cielie whistled as she ran her hands over the custom-fitted suit and silk tie. "Ooo, hot stuff! What colors?"
""Midnight blue", is what Marie called it, and the tie is red with a pattern in it. Shall we go?" He extended his arm to her and Logan escorted the lovely Lady Cielie to her opening.
***
"Thank you very much for escorting me," Cielie sighed as she waltzed through her door, "it was an absolutely fabulous night! Can I get you something to drink?"
"Ummm, something without bubbles in it?"
"Oh sure, I have your beer... and wine for me."
"That's good, thanks." Logan sat down at the counter like he was at a bar. "I noticed most of the pieces-"
"Oh, lets go sit in the living room," she interrupted, carrying the glasses. They settled self-consciously on the couch. "Okay, you were saying?"
"I was saying that I noticed most of the pieces were sold by the end of the night. A lot of people like your work. The one of the hands, "Hands of a Friend", was the first to go."
"You recognized them, right?"
"Kind of hard not to," he answered, flexing his fingers.
"I was really tempted to do the claws, but I didn't want to capitalize on your- I mean, I figured it's probably something you wouldn't want advertised. I think the knife ripping through the jeans still communicated the intent of doing what it took to help."
The base relief of "Hands of a Friend" resembled a leg covered in jeans. One hand held the knife slicing up through the denim. The other hand held bandages.
"And thank you, by the way, for the sculpture you sent me. It adds a lot of class to my room." Especially after he saw how much the other one was worth.
"Sure... but you're keeping it in there?"
"Just for now, just for me. I'll put it in the library later- or the Professor wants it in the main room- whatever. For now it's mine to enjoy." He downed the beer into two swallows. He needed it after a night of bubbly stuff. "It's an interesting self-portrait."
"What? It's not a "portrait"."
"You didn't do it on purpose?"
"Do what on purpose?"
"The petals in the center of the flower form the image of your face."
"No way! Really? Hmmm, wow! I just sculpted what I had seen without thinking about it... weird." Cielie bent over to put her glass down, giving him a clear shot of her cleavage.
Damn.... he had a quick flash of what would feel real good squeezed between those marvelous mounds and bit his lip for a distraction. She was so beautiful in her own way, and he was desperately dying to be inside her again, but things had changed between them. He didn't want to seduce her. That would put him back in the role of the "handsome stranger". Plus, he had no clue at all if she still wanted a sexual relationship or not. For once, he was unsure of the situation and he hated that. He always prided himself on knowing what women wanted when they wanted it, however, the usual game of heated attraction and skillful seduction just wasn't happening here.
Now what? Lame conversation and then go home to a cold shower? Well, there was always Smiley's. "It's also in the one at the gallery, but I don't know if anyone else noticed. So... the flower must be a deeper representation of yourself."
"Whoa, that's inightful! Since when did you become an art critic?"
Logan smiled sheepishly even though she couldn't see the expression. "It's what Jean said earlier... it made sense."
"Hmmmm, on a subconscious level? Maybe..."
A shy silence settled between them. Cielie jumped up and asked him if he wanted another beer, but didn't wait for an answer. She went to the refrigerator and stuck her head in the freezer to cool off and get a grip. When did it get so hot in here? Damn... he smelled so good and probably looked scrumptious in that suit. The evening had been so romantic and now all she could think about was getting naked and horizontal with him. But their relationship had changed and she wasn't sure if he still found her attractive enough. Yeah right, she could imagine how ghastly she looked after the bandages came off, and worst yet- had peed in her pants. She would never live that down even though he had been so gallant about it.
Well, there was only one way to find out if she was the only one feeling the heat. And it could be done in such a way that it wouldn't be embarrassing if he wasn't. She gulped down the wine, refilled the glass- what the hell, guzzled that one too- refilled it again, and completely forgot about his beer.
Logan took the jacket off to get more comfortable. Cielie came back and sat down, looking a little flustered as she downed the wine in one swallow. Oh well, he really didn't need a second beer.
"Ummmm, I hope you've taken the jacket off by now. I'm sure it looks great, but I know you don't like wearing them."
"Done, but it doesn't hurt to dress up once and awhile. Did I tell you how beautiful you look?"
"Yes, thanks..." Pause, pause, pause. "Ummm, Logan? I have something else to show you. It's kind of no big deal, really, but I thought it was kind of cool- at least I hope it is. I just thought I would show it to you quick."
"Sure, show me what you've got." Did that come out wrong? Damn, conversation shouldn't be this hard.
"Okaaay, well, close your eyes. Are they closed?" She reached over and ran her hands over his eyes to verify they were shut. She stood up in front of him, reached behind and unzipped the dress as far as she could. She pulled her arms out of sleeves, revealing the black lacy bra she bought that afternoon at Victoria's Secrets. She let the dress fall to her waist, turned sideways and held her arm back. "Okay, you can look now."
A tattoo of the paradise flower decorated her left ribs that had been injured the most. This was the moment Cielie was looking for. It made sense to show it to him since he had seen the other one. If he didn't give a damn, it wouldn't be awkward to pull the dress back up, and that would be that. Or if he touched it, and then touched her all over- please, please, please- she could take the dress off and that... well, damn, that would be great!
"Whoa... it's beautiful. How did you get them to do it? You didn't have any sketches."
"I invited the tattoo artist over after I finished the sculpture and he made the sketches."
"He did a damn good job... you can even make out your face here. See? Here are your eyes..." He reached up and traced his finger along the petals. "Your nose..."
His eyes shifted between the tattoo and the new sexy bra she was wearing. It unhooked in front... just pop that little baby open and there they were... free to squeeze and... "Your mouth..."
Damn... her under arms and legs were neatly shaven and smooth. Given that she was blind, the hair she missed there never bothered him, but damn... that had to mean something, right? She wouldn't have gone through all that unless she had planned on... getting physical again, right? Well, there was only one way to find out if he was the only one feeling the heat.
The stem with the blossom-covered vine followed a line of scarring down her side and disappeared under the dress. His finger stopped there. "How far does the stem go?"
"All the way down," she answered, blushing.
"Really?"
Cielie turned around and Logan unzipped the rest of the dress. It fell to the floor around her feet. She had on matching black lacy panties. Very nice- but they weren't staying on for long. He sat up, grabbed her hips and turned her back around. His touch was like fire against her skin as he followed the stem down. It circled in around her hips and disappeared under the panties.
He slipped his fingers up through the panty legs and pulled them down slowly... ever so slowly... to give her a chance to stop him until they dropped to the floor on top of the dress. It felt lusciously libidinous to be naked like that in high heels in spite of the extra weight she had gained. She felt like a sexy showgirl or how someone like Rose must have looked.
He resumed the stem's trail to where it terminated in the center of her pubis. Her pubic hair was starting to grow back, but the light fuzz was appealing. Maybe he could talk her into keeping it shaved- or better yet- maybe he could do the shaving. "Hmmm, it does go all the way down. Imagine that..."
Showgirl or not, she blushed and sucked in her gut self-consciously. He pulled her closer to kiss the belly she was trying to hold in. It wasn't necessary. "Did I tell you how beautiful you are?"
"Yesssss."
"Because you are..." He kissed the end of the stem while his hands glided up and down her really smooth legs. Abruptly, he lifted one up and planted it on the couch beside him so that he could get at the treasures between her open legs. He opened her wide with one hand and traced his finger over all the folds and curves of the satiny soft skin like he did the tattoo. "Another Flower of Paradise," he whispered hotly.
"Is that what you see?"
"Yes... and taste."
Cielie squealed with shivers as he dipped his tongue into the center of her sexuality. He lapped up her essence, which made up for not getting the second beer. She forced her fingers into his thick hair and nudged his head deeper into her. He playfully tongued her as his finger snaked up into her warm wetness and she cried out. Oh God, it felt soooo good! He used a gentle rhythm of penetration and kisses until the sinfully sensuous surge took her over the edge. She dropped down across his lap, covering his face in kisses.
Logan took off her dark glasses and tossed them neatly on to the coffee table behind her. He caressed her thighs on each side of him as they kissed deeply. Cielie's hands slid down to his throat.
"Ooo silk tie, silk shirt... very nice, but you don't need this on anymore." She took the tie off and expertly tied it around her own neck.
"Looks better on you..." She smiled and fondled his nipples through the fabric, shooting sparks down his spine. They continued kissing as she unbuttoned the shirt all the way down and let it fall open against his skin. He sat up to take it off, but she playfully pressed him back against the couch.
"Nuh-uh, let's keep you dressed since you probably won't be in a suit again for along time." She slowly unzipped his fly and worked her way into his boxers. She gave him a good squeeze. "We can still get at this."
"All right then..." he said with a moan, "let's keep you undressed since you were covered in bandages for so long." He unhooked the front of her bra, letting the mismatched mounds spill out into his hands itching to get a hold of them. He centered the tie in her cleavage. "Cute, but sorry, its gotta go. I want you totally undressed."
Pulling on the tie, he drew her closer to his mouth. His teeth cautiously closed around the rosey flesh of the smaller one. He tapped it with his tongue as he pushed the bra off her shoulders. It joined the rest of her clothes on the floor, followed by the tie.
He suckled her while his hand found its way between her legs again. So many fun things to touch and taste... and what a difference the change in their relationship made. It was more giving then taking. He loved making her squeal with delight and seeing how she turned beet red whenever she came. He wanted to give her all the pleasure he could, and then some. Meanwhile, Cielie was busy in his boxers and stroking his nipples. The different textures were electrifying as she alternated between caressing him inside and outside his clothes. Yes, she was doing a damn good job of trying to please him.
They played with each other until they both couldn't stand it anymore. Logan held her close and maneuvered her down on the couch underneath him. She wrapped her legs around him, but it became obvious his pants in the way. "Wait. These have gotta go too." He stood up, stripped his pants off in a flash and was back down on her before she took her next breath.
He savored that first instance of entering her, gradually going all the way in. He decided to keep the pace as slow and as sensual as possible. Her hands never left his face while hers turned beet red when she came with wild abandon.
However, he wasn't ready to release himself just yet. It felt too good being inside her and he wanted to make it last as long as possible for this first round. He kept the rhythm unhurried to tantrically stoke the fire within until it consumed them both.
For afterplay, they relaxed and explored each other unconstrained. Some how she had ended up laying the other way and stayed there. They had enough room on the couch to snugly stretch out head to toe and hip to hip, putting their genitals within easy reach of each other. Carefree fingers stroked and caressed what they could get their hands on.
Cielie looked down- or rather inclined her head- and tried to remember what he looked like between her legs. Impressions from the dream had faded, but at least she had her sculptures. "Flower of Paradise" and the one hidden in the closet, "Taste of Paradise". It was the image of Logan at her breast- her two perfect breasts. She did herself as best she could before she forgot it all and then relied on his statue to do him.
To anyone else, it simply looked like another erotic coupling; to her, however, it meant her eyes. She wasn't trying to hang on to the paradise fantasy, it just represented what she saw and would never see again in this world. She was glad their relationship had changed for the better, and that she knew him now for who he really is- the good and the bad. Maybe some day she would show it to him, but she wanted to keep the significance of sight to herself. For one grand moment, she had been freed from her cage of darkness and saw him- really saw him- and herself.
Logan put one hand under his head and gazed up at the stars through the skylight. He thought about the turn of events and smiled. This was nice... sex was now a special affection between two good friends. The bond they had in the beginning weathered the trauma and learning about each other's fantasies and failings. He wasn't hiding from the future, but this was a nice arrangement. She would be busy with her art since it was back in demand, and it was always hard to predict what was going on with the X-Men. Total packages have been accepted, which gave them the freedom to learn more about their strengths and beauty together when time allowed.
The sculpture he liked the most was "Cages in a New Light", and he almost wished she had given him that one instead of the paradise flower. One wall of the cage was missing and a blind girl with dark glasses and a cane sat at the opening, happily spreading flowers inside. Cielie didn't use canes, but she included it to clarify the girl couldn't see. A male wolverine, and she made sure the anatomy was precise, was poised on top of the pen, watching her.
Several patrons had asked Cielie what the meaning was behind it. She smiled enigmatically and reminded them again that meaning lies in the beholder, not the artist. This triggered a lively debate. Did the girl know the wolverine was there and wasn't afraid; or she didn't know, but would be afraid once she realized it and run away? Or would she realize it and still not be afraid? Was she was putting the flowers in there for the animal, for herself, or for both? And did she even know it was cage? Maybe she thought it was a garden box...? Back and forth it went while Logan merely smiled, keeping the meaning to himself.
"Do you still have nightmares?" he asked with sly concern.
"Noooo."
"Hmmm, I better spend the night anyway, though, just in case."
"Yes, I think that's a good idea. I mean, not that I can't take care of myself-"
"Oh, of course!"
"But it would be nice to have someone here to talk to."
"Talk wasn't exactly what I had in mind."
"Really? Is this what you had in mind?" She flexed her muscles around his fingers and felt another erection grow in her hand.
Logan sat up and pulled her on to his lap. She wrapped her legs around him as he grabbed her buttocks and carried her to her bed as she covered him in kisses. He stood at the edge and then leaned over to deposit her on her back. She unwrapped her legs from him, keeping them wide open as she brought her knees up and then down akimbo.
He started to kneel between her legs when she suddenly stopped him. "Wait."
"What's wrong?" Logan asked, puzzled.
Cielie sat up, which brought her face right into his belly. She took a deep breath and turned her head up to him seriously. "Logan, will you take me to the Center tomorrow?"
"Are you sure?" He looked down on her and was proud of her determination. She nodded. "I would be happy to."
"Thanks. One more thing."
"Yes?"
"This..." She seized the prize of his physique and popped it in her mouth. It occurred to her that they- or actually, he- always initiated every romp by doing her first orally, like he had to prep her or something. Not that she was complaining, but things had changed between them and it was about time she got the ball rolling.
Keeping her mouth fastened on him, she took a hold of his hips, slid off the bed, turned them around, and guided him back down on to it. Kneeling, she drew his legs up on either side of her- as he usually did to her- and pushed his knees down, opening him up wide. Of course, he really didn't need to be in this position to get at the treasures between his legs, but it was fun reversing their roles.
"Cielie?"
"Hmmmm?"
"Never mind. We'll- oooo, damn, that feels good. We'll discuss it- ooo- when your mouth... isn't full- but don't stop on my account..."
***
The Next Day...
Cielie got out of the car briskly and business-like after they kissed. She marched to the door, but slowed as she got to The Spot where she had been snatched and stopped. Logan watched her hug herself as it all came back to her. He could practically hear her heart pounding in her chest and taste the scent of her fear like blood. A man carrying a package approached. Logan saw the petrified panic drain the color from her face as his hand gripped the door handle. Should he go to her? No, you idiot, give her a chance to do this for herself.
She heard footsteps- big, heavy- a man, but she stood her ground, fighting the urge to bolt or call out his name. She listened as the man went by, probably staring at this weird chick with dark glasses standing there shaking. Cielie took a deep breath, and turned back towards the car. "You're not always going to be here, are you?"
Logan got out, leaned over and crossed his arms on the roof of the car in an effort to be casual. "I wish I could, darlin." She nodded in apprehensive agreement. "Is that where it happened?"
"Yessss," she shuddered. "He hit me on the back of the head and then dragged me over there." He clenched his fists as she pointed directly at the alley and then held his breath as she went to it.
Shaking again, she stood at the entrance, listened and sniffed. "But there's nothing here now... except garbage. We should clean this up and paint it... maybe a mural. That would be a good project for the kids." She came back to The Spot a little calmer. "What do you think?"
"I think you're one of the bravest, most beautiful woman I've ever known." Logan answered quietly, suddenly sentimental. He wanted to keep his distance and let her make the transition on her own, but to hell with it. He came around the car and hugged her tight.
Cielie blushed. "Ummm, thanks, but I meant the mural."
"It's a great idea- maybe I can get in on that action?"
"We'll see," she said laughing. "It would be a great project for the kids."
"At least invite me to the opening."
"What? You don't have an opening for a mural, silly."
"Why not? Champagne and caviar flowing in that alley would-"
"More like Kool-Aid and Cheeze Whiz."
"Would turn darkness into a celebration."
"Wow, you're starting to think like me. When did that happen?"
"I don't know, but I'm-"
"Learning. Me too." Cielie said with a sweet smile.
"I think we've got that established now." He held her face and cleanly kissed her, pulled back, then licked her lips lustfully.
"Logan!" she blurted, blushing. "Someone might see!"
"And your point is?"
"I've got to go. Talk to you later." She slipped out of his embrace with a peck on his cheek and disappeared through the door before he could answer.
"Count on it," he whispered. He glanced at the alley and then went and stood at the entrance. Dark and dirty, it reeked of ugliness, but she would turn it into a place of beauty and light. A flash of her laying there, beaten and bleeding, clouded the positive picture. Thank God, they found her in time. She almost didn't make it... almost didn't come back, but she survived in spades and got a new tattoo to boot. He had no doubt now that no matter what life threw at her, she'ld find beauty in it somehow. And then it hit him. Whatever dark and ugly things lay hidden back there in his past, she could turn it in to something beautiful, like she did the cage. The hard part would be to let her...
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