Sensitivity Boot Camp
by
Diebin
THANKS TO: Beth. *huggles* Inspiration is beautiful.
DEDICATION: To WRBeta. A fic to christen our inbox. (Though you've all prolly seen it.)
~*~
And I Thought It Only Worked on Vampires
~*~
Mystique smiled viciously as she stroked her platinum locks, cooing at herself in the mirror. "Aren't you just the cutest little thing," she purred. "Such a pretty little face to lay a pretty little trap."
Stuffing her pockets full of garlic, Mystique went off to do battle with the Wolverine.
~*~
Maybe It's Allergy Season
~*~
Logan sniffed. "Marie, you been eatin' Italian again?"
Marie wiggled her hips a little, her gloved hands clutching her pockets protectively. "Just a little, Wolvie."
Smiling at the hip wriggling, Logan reached out for his girl. He knew what followed the hip wiggling. It was his hips wiggling along with them.
"Uh-uh, big boy." Marie danced out of his reach. "I've decided I need something different in a man, Logan. All this growling and snarling--not to mention fucking me against the shower door--it's giving me an ulcer."
No hip wiggling. Damn it. Grunting, Logan prepared for the worst. "What do I need to do?"
Mystique-Marie smiled. God, garlic was useful.
~*~
Day 1 - Embracing the Inner You
~*~
"Okay class. It's time to share."
Logan looked around warily. This was a lot to ask, even for Marie. Two of the men were already crying, and they were only twenty minutes into the first session.
"Let's start with--Logan?"
Logan grunted. Figured. "I have a leather fetish."
~*~ Meanwhile, Back At The Ranch ~*~
"Jean, you seen Logan?"
Jean looked up, her face harried. "No. Have you seen Scott?"
Rogue blinked. "Jean, are you okay?"
Jean tossed the latest issue of Dominatrix Monthly at Rogue, throwing her hands up. "I would like someone to explain to me who keeps buying me a subscription to this magazine."
~*~
Day 2 - Listening to Your Loved Ones
~*~
"John, what do you say when your wife asks you to help with dinner?"
Logan watched as John withered under the gaze of their sadistic group leader. "I--uhh--I nod and then watch football."
The group nodded, and Logan nodded with them. Seemed like a decent response.
"Logan--how about you? Do you have any loved ones who you sometimes don't listen to the way you should?"
Logan pondered this. "The other day Marie screamed at me to fuck her harder, but I didn't."
~*~
Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch
~*~
"Scott, have you seen Logan anywhere?"
Scott didn't say anything, his attention caught up by something in front of him.
"Scott?" Rogue walked over to his desk and looked over his shoulder. He was looking at their team roster, his face utterly confused.
"I just don't get it," he mumbled finally.
Rogue blinked. "Don't get what?"
Scott looked up at her. "Who the hell is this Ororo Munroe? I've never heard of her."
~*~
Day Three - Meaning What You Say
~*~
"Frank, tell us the last thing you said to your loved one that you really meant."
Logan squinted at the group leader. She looked like she was growing horns.
Frank stuttered. "I, uhh . . ."
Looking around, the group leader shook her head. "Has anyone said anything that they really, truly meant?"
"Yeah." Logan liked that her eyes got a little nervous when he spoke. "I told Marie that if anyone touched her I'd nail their balls to the wall. And I meant it."
~*~
Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch
~*~
"Remy, have you seen Logan?"
"Oui, chere. Er ist seit lange ins Stadt gegangen."
Rogue blinked. "I thought you only spoke French!"
~*~
Day 4 - And Saying What You Mean
~*~
Aside from the bad coffee, Logan was starting to enjoy this. The group leader got this very pinched, terrified look in her eyes every time he so much as blinked. Good to know he hadn't lost his touch.
"We uhh--" She looked at Logan.
Logan smiled.
"We need to learn to--" She looked at Logan.
Logan smiled wider.
"--to say what we mean," she finished weakly. Looking pointedly at someone as far away from Logan as she could, she glanced at her notes. "Brandon? Would you like to share with us how you tell your wife that you love her?"
Brandon stuttered.
Logan yawned at stretched. The entire room stopped to look at him.
He grinned. "I tell her she's mine."
~*~
Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch
~*~
"HE'S WHERE?"
Storm blinked at Rogue. "You asked me to drop him off there, Rogue. I admit, I thought it was a little bit strange--but--"
"HE'S WHERE?"
"Are you alright?" Storm was worried. Rogue had never looked quite /that/ horrified before.
"HE'S--" Gasping for breath, Rogue clenched her fists. "We have to go get him out. What if he ends up like--"
Storm glanced over at Bobby, who was acting a particularly bright shade of flaming today. "You're right. I'll get the car."
~*~
Day 5 - It's Okay to Cry
~*~
The group leader rather looked like she hadn't slept the night before.
"Today we are going to discuss our emotions. And how it's okay to show them."
Before she continue the door burst in. Five seconds later Rogue was in his lap, her hands clenched on his shoulders. "Oh my god, oh my god--Logan--"
He smiled. Hips aligned. That was a step better than hip wiggling. "Yeah, baby?"
Rogue looked around the room and then back at Logan. "Are you--" Catching her lip between her teeth she ground down, and almost cried in relief. "Oh thank god, it's still working."
Logan grunted. "Yeah, and if you don't want to show the entire room how well, you'll stop doing that."
As Rogue lead Logan from the room, he caught the group leader sliding from her chair and sobbing tears of relief.
~*~
And I Would Have Gotten Away With It Too . . .
~*~
Mystique growled. Logan was stronger than she'd thought. And Rogue . . . that little annoying prat. How dare she dance into the room at crucial moment and remind Logan that he was a man?
Foiled again.
Sighing, Mystique settled down to leaf through her self-help group guide. Maybe she could send Scott to that Be a Man Seminar . . .
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