You Won't be Mine
by
Elizabeth Wilde
DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these characters. They are all copyright... Marvel and/or Twentieth Century Fox and possibly even other places or people. Point is, not mine. I make no money from this site and I don't have any to give, so there's no point in suing.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: The song "You Won't be Mine" is on Matchbox Twenty's new album Mad Season. Wonderful album, and I've been listening to it alot lately. No surprise that it gave me a nice plot bunny, which actually was at first just going to be from Logan's point of view. Then I made the graphic and it changed my mind.
Take your straight line for a curve
Make it stretch, the same old line.
Try to find if it was worth what you spent
Why you're guilty for the way
You're feeling now
It's almost like being free
And I know soon you will be
Over the lies, you'll be strong
You'll be rich in love and you will carry on,
But no - Oh no
No you won't be mine.
Part 1: Logan
Logan lay back on the bed and crossed his arms over his chest. It didn't surprise him at all that Chuck had saved the room for his return, had left everything exactly as it was when Wolverine left. It had surprised him that almost no one found his return unexpected: Xavier only smiled at him from across his desk, Scott had welcomed him back like he'd run out to the store, and Storm barely reacted at all. Only Rogue and Jean showed any surprise. Of course, it had been more excitement than surprise from Rogue, but Jean... Jean seemed genuinely shocked.
//Did she really think I wouldn't come back?// As much as he wanted to think he could go the rest of his life without ever seeing her again, Logan knew there was no chance he'd succeed. No matter how Jean felt, he needed her. Like Rogue, Jean had seen inside him and not run away. Despite, or maybe because of, all his faults and flaws and neuroses, she found him interesting. //Or something.//
//And then there's Scooter.// Logan felt his claws itching to emerge beneath his skin at the thought of Scott Summers spending every night of his life with Jean. //It's bad enough that I can't have her. Doesn't help things that one-eye can.// Still, he found it impossible to conjure any reason Scott wouldn't make Jean happy, any reason Scott wasn't perfect for her in every way. That just made it harder.
Logan snorted in disgust. //Quit dreamin'. She's too good for you and you know it.// Trying to push all thoughts of Jean from his mind and failing entirely, Wolverine closed his eyes, abandoning himself to the nightmares once again.
Part 2: Scott
Scott lay in bed awake for the first time since Logan left. He knew his jealousy was stupid and juvenile and would only push Jean away, but he couldn't stop half a dozen insane scenarios from flashing through his head. He knew she would never leave him, even if she wanted to. That was Jean, loyal to a fault.
What bothered him was that she might ever want to. The thought that he could be holding her prisoner in their relationship cut through him. Logan wanted Jean, that much was painfully obvious. //If she wanted him, how would I know?//
His gaze drifted to the beautiful woman sleeping beside him. Her face was turned toward him, shining auburn hair spread across her pillow, mouth slightly open. Scott pushed one strand of hair off her cheek and sighed. He tried to imagine what it might be like not to have her to talk to, make love to, how he would live without her in his life. The thought alone brought tears of pain and waves of doubt he didn't want to deal with.
Closing his eyes tight for a minute, Scott took a deep breath. //This is stupid. It won't happen. Jean loves me as much as I love her. I know that.// Rolling over, he draped his arm across her waist, watching Jean sleep until he drifted into unconsciousness himself.
Part 3: Jean
Giving up entirely on reading, Jean lay her book back down on the desk. She looked around the room she and Scott shared and smiled. Almost everything was perfectly in order. Books were neatly on their shelves along one wall, bed, nightstand, and dresser along another, then the large window before which she sat at her desk, Scott's to her right. The order, the care suited them. She glanced toward the door, wondering how long Scott would be tutoring.
As much as she cherished every moment they spent together, Jean needed a reprieve from his worry, his insecurities if only for a little while. //I have enough stress of my own.// It was bad enough that she found herself avoiding Logan most of the time. She couldn't stand to look at him and see how much it hurt him to be alone, more than that to be without her. Whenever Logan stumbled across her and Scott together, Jean never failed to see the look of pain in his eyes, which he always hid quickly by turning away.
//How do you tell someone you don't love them?// Her fingers drummed absently on the desk as she contemplated the idea. //The problem is that I do love him, just not in the way he wants.// Jean knew Logan well enough to know that even if he understood that when she told him, he would be hurt. Badly. She sighed. //Damn, why can't something just be easy for once?//
Before she could further consider the issue, the door opened. Moments later, she felt Scott's arms slide around her, his breath warm on her neck. "You seemed awfully tense. Anything important?"
Jean leaned back against him. "Yes."
"Anything I should know about?"
She smiled and turned a little, so he could see her face. "Nothing you don't know already." Jean's hand reached up to cup his cheek. "I love you."
Grinning, Scott kissed her hand. "I love you too." His expression became more serious. "If I can help-"
"You can't." Jean shook her head, eyes drifting to stare out the window. "It's just something I have to figure out on my own."
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