All Good Things
Chapters 1 through 5
by
Liz Collins



Disclaimer: No, I don't have permission to use Marvel's characters. Yes, I used them anyway. You'll have to stand in line to sue me, so don't even bother. This story is purely the product of my overactive imagination. :)

Author's Note: I originally wrote this story in 1994 and it was published in 1995 to a Usenet group (I think it was alt.comics.fan-fiction). When I wrote it most of what I knew about the X-men came from watching the FOX cartoon with my sons. I got hooked on the cartoon because I was fascinated with the relationships between the characters--the whole Scott/Jean/Logan triangle and the Rogue/Remy dilemna. (I finally did start buying the comics while I was working on the story. So please forgive my ignorance at that time. This story isn't really about continuity--it's just a "what-if" story about Jean and Logan.) Thanks to Darqstar (where ever you are!) for your critiques and ideas, and thanks to Bob (even tho we're not together) for encouraging me to write and for tolerating and understanding my "Logan fixation". (Yes, I drooled into my popcorn over Hugh Jackman throughout the entire feature film!!! My boys, now 9 & 11, pretended not to notice.) Read on...I hope you enjoy it.




CHAPTER 1

The Sentinels were supposed to have been eliminated. Yet, this particular day the X-Men found themselves facing two of them. They should have posed a moderate but not impossible obstacle for the mutant team. In fact, the X-Men were definitely gaining the upper hand and were well on their way to victory when it happened. Wolverine heard it first, from where he clung on the back of the Sentinel's neck, slashing at its circuitry. It was a high-pitched whine, growing in intensity, followed by a blinding array of light. The flash overloaded his senses and he felt a hot and tingling sensation. It was almost as though something passed through him. He heard Jean screaming, "No!" and he suddenly felt himself falling. The Sentinel was going down and he was going with it. He still couldn't see and his ears were ringing. He jumped, hoping it was fast enough and far enough. It wasn't.

His head hurt. Bad. How long had he been out? He blinked several times and looked across the clearing. Everything was fuzzy, but he made out the shape of the other Sentinel. Neither it nor the one he was entangled with appeared to be functional. He shook his head, trying to clear it further and clambered over the Sentinels to find the others. Halfway over the second one, he was stopped dead in his tracks by what he saw---Storm valiantly performing CPR on the lifeless body of Cyclops; Jean, holding Scott's hand, weeping uncontrollably; and Rogue with her face buried in Gambit's coat. There were no obvious injuries to Cyclops' body, other than the fact he apparently wasn't breathing. As Logan got closer, Gambit looked at him and shook his head slightly. Storm finally gave up her effort to save Cyclops. She took Jean's hand from Scott's and into her own.

"I'm sorry, Jean, there's nothing I can do," she said softly, almost choking on her words. Cyke hadn't made it.

Jean broke away from Storm and fell sobbing on Scott's still form. The sight was gut-wrenching. Logan couldn't stand to watch Jean any longer. Ignoring Storm's, "Thank the goddess you're alive!" he strode past her. He knelt down next to Jean, and put a hand on her shoulder. "C'mon, darlin'," he said quietly. "It's time to go." She didn't move. He pulled her up, gently but firmly. She looked directly at him before she collapsed. The pain in her eyes bored down to his soul. He'd seen eyes like that before. Not so long ago they had stared back at him from the mirror.



CHAPTER 2

The funeral was over and Jean was left feeling numb. She supposed it must have been a lovely service, because everyone kept telling her that. They had just returned from small country churchyard where she'd arranged for Scott to be buried. It seemed so peaceful there, but she hated to leave him, all alone. She knew that he wasn't really there; she kept telling herself it was just his body that she had left in the cold ground, but it was of little comfort to her.

The small group which had come to support her had drifted back to the mansion where they began to serve up the food that had been brought by Jean's many friends and relations. Jean's parents were a steady presence, as were Storm and Wolverine, the two people she counted as her closest friends. Storm was constantly hovering over her, ever the gracious hostess that Jean couldn't seem to bring herself to be. Logan didn't say much, but he seemed to always be there, standing around in the corner of the room, looking like he'd much rather be anywhere else.

Jean was grateful for the kindness of her team mates and friends, although some, like Jubilee and Gambit, seemed uncomfortable and unusually quiet. In the two days since Scott's death, in addition to grieving, everyone was confused and angry. No one was exactly sure what had happened or why all Scott's bodily functions had so suddenly and completely ceased. Jean could barely force herself to look at the Professor. Every time she did, she both saw and felt the pain and sadness there, like that of a father who had lost his only son. She was mentally exhausted from trying to shield herself from everyone's thoughts and keeping from projecting her own.

She dreaded tomorrow. Tomorrow would be the first day of the rest of her life, the life that she would live without Scott. She'd spent so many years of her life loving him, but so little time together as man and wife. What she really felt like doing was crawling away in a little cocoon somewhere to die.

But, she told herself, she was stronger than that. She was a survivor, and she knew that she would somehow make it through. She just didn't know how.



CHAPTER 3

The next week, the professor sent a team back to the site of the incident. After a thorough investigation, they still had no idea what had even happened. One thing was certain. Cyclops had not been killed by a Sentinel blast. But what hadhappened to him?

They had picked up some unusual residual energy readings around the area, but no further clues. With all the enemies the X-MEN had, they really had no idea where to start, and any leads they had quickly turned out to be dead ends.

Jean decided to take a leave of absence from the team. She felt she was definitely not at her best, and part of her just wanted to be left alone. For the first few months she worked around the clock trying to find out who or what had killed her husband. But after repeatedly running up against dead ends, and finding herself emotionally and physically exhausted, she decided she had no choice but to go on and accept what had happened. She didn't give up on finding the cause, but she no longer was consumed by it.

Once she reached that point, she felt like a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders, but she also started to grieve for Scott in a way she had previously not allowed herself. She knew the healing process was going to be a long, rocky road.

She sought help from the professor, the one other person who had known and loved Scott as long as she had. As a fellow telepath, he was able to help Jean minimize some of her grief without allowing her to relinquish her feelings and memories of Scott.



CHAPTER 4

It had been a particularly exhausting session. Jean sat across the desk from Xavier, but mentally she had been in another time, another place. She visibly sagged as the the professor released her from the mind link.

"Jean?" he said softly.

She suddenly snapped to attention.

"I was wondering if you'd be willing to work with me on some special projects during your leave of absence?"

Jean forced herself to smile. "Of, course, Professor. What did you have in mind?"

"I have need of an assistant, someone to do research and general administrative tasks. I know that's not really your cup of tea, but I thought you might consider it as a short-term assignment."

Jean nodded. "No, I think it might be good for me to do something different for a while."

"Are you familiar with the name Lydia Thurgood?"

"Yes. Isn't she some kind of civil rights leader? A mutant rights leader?"

Charles nodded approvingly. "Ms. Thurgood is a very successful businesswoman who's trying to run for governor of Texas. She has recently invested her entire fortune into a her campaign, of which one of the cornerstones is promoting human and mutant civil rights and co-existence."

"Not exactly a popular cause these days. Is she a mutant?" Jean commented, as the Professor X turned to retrieve some data on his computer. A head shot of an attractive, middle-aged woman filled the screen.

"No. But her son is. I've been extremely impressed with Ms. Thurgood's speeches and presentations. She is an extremely charismatic speaker and has amassed quite a following. I was wondering if you'd be willing to help me with some research and correspondence with Ms. Thurgood's people? I believe we have some common goals and I would like to see if we can be of any assistance to her."

"Of course, I'd love to. When can we start?" Jean asked.

"How about tomorrow morning? Jean, I think this will be beneficial to you as well."

Jean looked down briefly. "Yes, I need something to keep my mind busy."

Jean busied herself throughout the next few months. The warm, sunny weather only seemed to mock her feelings of devastation and grief. She buried herself in her work, as it was the only thing that seemed to give her any consolation, and avoided close contact with anyone but the Professor. She was both relieved and sad when fall finally arrived. The darker, cooler days seemed better suited to her state of mind.



CHAPTER 5

Logan turned over for about the hundredth time in an hour. He was too hot, then he was too cold. He thought about the half-eaten deli sandwich he'd left in the fridge that evening. His stomach rumbled. "Must be hungry, then," he decided as he pulled on a pair of sweats and padded silently down to the kitchen.

He didn't bother to turn on the light. He had just reached for the handle to open the refrigerator door when he became aware he was not alone. Instinctively, the claws on one hand went out. About a millisecond later, the scent of Jean's perfume reached his nostrils. He heard her gasp, "Logan, it's me!" She was sitting at the dinette table, in the dark, nursing a cup of hot chocolate. He sighed with relief.

"God, woman, you gave me a start." He reached in and got the sandwich. "Mind if I put the light on? I got me a serious case of the midnight munchies."

"No, it's okay." Her voice sounded strained. He flicked on the light above the stove and crossed over to the table. She was sitting with her face covered with her hands. He realized that she was crying. He deposited the sandwich on the table and slowly walked over to her chair.

"You okay?" He knew she wasn't, but he was at a loss for anything else to say.

She nodded. "Yeah," she breathed. "I'm just having a bad night." Her voice broke on the last word. She looked up at him. Her nose was quite red and her face was streaked with tears. He felt something twisting inside, deep in his gut. He reached out and took her hand.

"C'mere, darling," he said quietly and pulled her to her feet. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. She buried her head against his shoulder and clung to him. Silent sobs racked her body. He held her tightly as she continued to cry.

His mind wandered as they stood tightly clutching to one another. Hers was the kind of pain that was all too familiar to him. His thoughts turned to Mariko and Silver Fox. His mind filled with grief and rage, but he pushed it back. No time for that now, he thought. Until now, Jean had politely refused his and anyone else's attempts to comfort or console her.

Now she needed him. And he was going to be there for her.

Soon the her sobbing was quieter and she started to relax her grip on him. He stole a glance at her out of the corner of his eye.

"You gonna be all right?" he asked.

She nodded. "I think so." She sighed heavily. "Oh, I don't know if I'm ever going to be okay." She stepped back and looked at him.

He lowered his eyes and his voice. "Let me tell you something, Jeannie. It's never gonna go away, but I promise it'll get better. I've been through it; I know. You've got a lot of people in this house who love you and care about you and they're going to see you through."

She smiled weakly and disentangled herself from him. "Thanks, Logan. That means a lot to me," she said, and then trying to recover, she smiled. "I guess I better let you eat that sandwich."

"Wha ... ? Oh, yeah. Think I'm gonna see what's on the tube since I'm not doing a real good job sleeping. Wanna join me?"

"I guess I'm probably not going to sleep much, either." Jean watched him gather up the sandwich, a beer, and a bag of chips and head towards the rec room. She followed him balancing her now cold cup of chocolate.



CHAPTERS:   1 - 5   6 - 10   11 - 15   16 - 20   21 - 23




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