Only God Knows Why
by
Quentin Priest



Disclaimer: The events herein are fictional and have no resemblance to reality. Marvel owns the X-Men and Fox owns the concept of the movieverse. Any song mentioned within the confines of this piece belong to whoever wrote them/sang them/produced them. There is no intent to make money, only to entertain.




Trying to Find Myself. . .

He didn't think of much. Not that he knew he was supposed to. He was intent on one thing, finding answers.

That's why he left, because he wanted to know. That wasn't entirely true. If he had just wanted to know, then he could have stayed, and he knew it. He could have convinced himself that he really didn't want to know at all, so he could have stayed.

But that wasn't the case. He needed to know. He needed to know the truth about his life. He was older than the fifteen years of memory he had, and by God, he needed to know his life before then.

He needed to know if his life had purpose before the experiment. He needed to know who his family was. He needed to know how he knew he liked cheap beer over expensive, and how he knew Cuban cigars were the best. He needed to know why he knew those little instinctive things but not the big details.

But most of all he needed to know if he needed her.

Oh, sure, he could say that he wanted her. But that could just be because he couldn't have her. He said he wanted Jean, and in a lustful way he did. She was gorgeous, but he didn't need Jean. So this trip was to see if he needed Marie, not just wanted her. Because if that's all it was, it would fade when he had a woman in his bed. Want faded; need remained.

Funny thing was that since he had left Xavier's School for the Gifted, he really hadn't wanted a woman in his bed. Not that there hadn't been opportunities, he just didn't feel like exploiting his chances. It was almost as if he was content to stay chaste for a while. So there was no way of knowing.

But he wasn't actively thinking all of these things, because he was intent on finding the answers. The ramifications of those answers could wait until he'd found them. And some of those answers he'd found.

He'd been to the military base by Alkali Lake in the Canadian Rockies. It had been abandoned, just as Xavier had said. But it hadn't been empty of memory triggering sights. Just walking down the halls had flashed memories into being that never were there before.

He'd walked into a large room with a glass tank with one side missing and glass shattered all around it. That's when it happened.

His nightmare of the tubes in his body and the bubbly champagne and the uniformed men laughing started again. But instead of quick images frozen and spliced together, the entire scene unfolded.

Logan was suspended in a tube of thick liquid, making moving almost impossible. He was allowed to breathe through a snorkel on his mouth and nose, "After all," they had said, "The mutant can't heal fast enough if he can't breath." So they gave him oxygen. Pure oxygen, to numb his faculties and allow his phenomenal healing factor to recover from the trauma they inflicted.

Then they put thousands upon thousands of tiny tubes with needles on the ends into his body. Through the skin and muscle to his very bones. Once there, they started to inject a metal alloy through the tubes, grafting the quick-hardening metal to every bone in his body.


The pain was intense. So intense that Logan trembled and fell to the floor in agony simply in memory of the ordeal. He shook for several minutes, his body reliving the pain, his healing factor quickening to make up for the pain. After a while, the pain subsided and Logan's memories filled his head again.

The pain was even worse the first time, so bad that it had ripped Logan out of the semi-conscious daze they had left him in, couldn't put him under completely the mutant's abilities wouldn't work as well, and seen the uniformed men celebrating their success.

The thought still infuriated Logan, fifteen years after it had happened. These men were laughing and congratulating themselves because they had violated him, ripped him away from his home and family, and used his own body against him to bond an unbreakable alloy to his bones.

In rage and fear and pain, Logan lashed out in the empty room, mimicking the motions he'd used more than fifteen years ago. Anyone seeing this display would have thought it funny, if not for the noises coming from the man's mouth or the way his body twisted in agony.

He started to move, impossibility, but he still did it. Rotating his feet, he was able to get a footing on the base of the tank. Reaching out, he tried hitting the glass. The thick liquid nullified the force of his hit, though. Then that's when it happened.

He was straining so hard to hit the glass, to make it shatter so he could get out and kill the bastards that did this to him that his hand started to hurt. In his fuzzy stage, he didn't really care, he just wanted out.

The men in the room had noticed his movements, of course, monitors going off and sirens blaring. The soldiers in the room had gathered at the tank and the men who were laughing only minutes before were now looking at him with mild interest, seeing how this would turn out.

The pain built in Logan's hand and before he knew it, a metal claw, ten inches in length shot out of his hand.


In the present, Logan cried out in pain as his right hand clenched and his claw popped out, just as it had fifteen years ago.

The three-pronged claw went through the glass and cracked the side all the way down. The glass exploded with the pressure of the thick liquid, and Logan was free. The first thing he did was cut down the soldiers trying to get him back in the tank. The liquid made it hard; the floor being slick, but it evened the playing field. If Logan didn't have a good footing neither did anyone else.

The soldiers tried to restrain him, but were unable to. Finally, someone had the presence of mind to use a powerful sedative and it slowed Logan down. Eventually with enough sedative, he was knocked out.


Logan slumped on the floor, exhausted. When he came to, he knew what had happened. They had wiped out his memory of the event, in fact his entire life, in their hurry. They had dumped him in the middle of the woods, hoping with the sedative and the harsh weather, he'd die, because they couldn't figure out how to kill him.

When he'd come to fifteen years ago, they didn't know he was alive, but they had abandoned this base just in case. Now he had come back and he knew.

He should have smiled. He should have cried. He should have done a lot of things. Instead, he simply slumped on the floor. He crawled his way out of the building, gaining his strength as he went. By the time he was outside, he was back to normal physically. Mentally, he was better than he'd been in fifteen years.

He sat at the bar, a beer tilted up at him as he looked down into the frosty brew. Ever since his episode in the military base, Logan's memory was coming back to him in pieces. One morning he'd awoken with the memory of a log cabin and a wife who loved him. But the era, judging by the dress and gun in the corner, it was before World War One. He had been happy then.

He was old. Didn't bother him too much, though. After all, what could he do about it? He'd finally gotten what he wanted, his memory. At least, he was getting it back slowly. If he was that old, would he bitch about it? No.

He had happy times, and sad times. Every time a woman he loved died, he was sad. But the good out numbered the bad, so he was content. And that wasn't even the crux of the matter. He was content knowing that the military base jump-started his memories, and was happy getting to know himself better. There was only one problem. And he knew what it was.

It was that he was so much older than she was. He was so much older than Marie. He could live with that. But that wasn't the reason why he wasn't in a hurry to get back to Westchester. The reason he wasn't high-tailing it back was that he didn't know the other thing he needed to know. He needed to know if he needed her.



It Helps to Pass The Time. . .

Rogue sat in class, hoping to get through yet another one of Ororo's boring lectures on the ancient world. She didn't understand why she had to learn who the Visagoths were, or what they had or had not conquered. As far as she was concerned if it wasn't within this last century, or even this decade, who cared.

As she sat doodling, trying to look interested but failing miserably, Kitty passed her a note. Rogue kept it low on the table, not letting Ororo see it. That was one thing that made her mad, students passing notes. So Rogue kept the note on the tabletop and read its contents.

Have you seen the new guy yet? I think you'll like him. He's from Russia and has the cutest accent! He's even a little older than us!

Rogue rolled her eyes and groaned silently to herself. This had been going on for the past few months since Kitty and Jubilee, her two closest friends here at school, had decided she needed someone to fill the void left by Logan. Not that anyone could fulfill that void, because there wasn't really anything there to begin with. At least not anything that was returned.

So she had let them set her up with a boy at school. He was named John, and he was nice. On her first day in class he had made a little ball of fire that Bobby had immediately frozen. She remembered that. But while he was nice, there was something about him that she didn't like. Or maybe it was the absence of something.

And when she had said John was a no, they told her to go for Bobby. So she ate lunch with him. He was cute after all. But so was John. He had good manners and a quiet way about him. But just like John, there was something missing.

And she knew what that something was. Kitty and Jubilee knew what that something was. In fact, she was sure everyone who had been here for the Magneto fiasco knew what it was.

They weren't Logan.

So Kitty and Jubilee had toned down on trying to be matchmakers. So much so that they were able to concentrate on their own love-lives. Until a new boy would come to the school, one who didn't know about Logan or how Rogue had gotten the white streaks in her hair. Then it would start all over again. They'd tell her she'd have to go to dinner or a movie with the boy. She'd humor them, go out and be polite and charming.

And the boys? For the most part, genuinely happy to be there with her. Some were a little nervous because it was a first date. Every one of them was nervous because of her ability to suck out their powers. After all, there was no way she could not not tell them. Some hid it better than others, but every one of them was nervous.

And every one of them had something wrong with them.

Oh, she was good at lying. She'd tell Kitty and Jubilee that it was because he had bad breath. Or that his eyes were the wrong color. Or even that the chemistry between them was wrong. And every time their reactions were the same.

Kitty would nod sagely and murmur something about "Of course, you should know best." But her eyes were full of doubt.

Jubilee would just roll her eyes and say something like, "I should have known. You're hopeless."

She knew that. And it was hopeless trying to get her to somehow get over Logan. She couldn't. At least not yet.

So Rogue put down the small piece of paper and looked to Kitty and Jubilee, sitting beside her at the table they shared. They looked at her and she nodded. They stifled giggles and went back to taking notes or doodling until class was over.

Three hours had passed, and Logan was still staring into his beer. It was no longer frosty, and the little bubbles had ceased finding their way to the top of his glass long ago. And still he sat there, staring into the beer. This happened often. Not too much that he was a danger to himself, but enough so he'd know when to concentrate.

It started with a slight tugging at his memory. Then he'd have to sit and wait for whatever it was to reveal itself. The memory would come, so Logan would wait. With the patience of a great predator, he waited for his memory to show itself. Then he'd pounce upon it and it would be his again. Once he actively devoured it, it remained in his mind, trapped like the words on a page. No images, no recollection of smells, just the facts. But they were enough. They painted a picture of his past, even if the tapestry was words.

So he sat staring into his brew that had long ago gone flat, not really seeing it. After several more minutes he smiled. The smile wasn't happy, but neither was it sad. It was rueful and wolfish. It hadn't been a pleasant memory, but it hadn't been one of those that made him want to cry either.

Logan didn't actively think or ponder on his circumstances too much. He didn't want to, so he didn't have to. But one thing he realized as he smiled was that this was probably what Professor Xavier had in mind. He knew all along that all it would take was Logan going to the base. After all, he was telepathic.

And with that knowledge, Logan also knew something else. It had been hinting itself to him since his first memory of his stolen life had emerged from the wreckage of him mind. He just couldn't grasp it. Not until this last memory. Then he knew.

He knew that he had lived a long time. He even had memories dating back to just after the American Civil War. He didn't know why, but he had fought in that war. Canada was his home, so the problems of the Yanks had nothing to do with him. Maybe it was because no one should have to live and die as someone else's property. Logan was free, and so should everyone else be. He supposed that was the reason. He really didn't care now; all that mattered was that that was the oldest memory he had.

Which meant that he was old. And he knew why he had been happy for so much of his life. Because he had always managed to find someone to share those long years with. Someone who he loved whole heartily and who loved him back just as much. Someone who accepted that he didn't age the same as them. Someone who was young and full of life when they met and who was old physically but young at heart and full of life when they died. Then it was easier to let them go, knowing that they didn't regret their time with him.

Logan grunted softly to himself. All this pondering was giving him a headache. At least that was what he told himself. The fact of the matter was that he kind of enjoyed it. In the last few weeks since being at Alkali Lake he'd been doing a lot more thinking than usual. More thinking than just reacting. It was as if he'd regained a lot of his humanity when he'd regained his memories.

And then he smiled, looking into the mirror of the bar. The face that looked back at him was lined with hard angles, but the huge smile that split his features made the lines soft. He knew what he needed to know now. He knew that he had to go back and somehow make it work. He needed someone for the first time in fifteen years. And like his memories had shown him, he needed someone for a lifetime.

Fifteen years of living like an animal could not wipe out the memories that were surfacing, making those years that he started to count as wasted not only useless, but meaningless as well. What they had done to him was inexcusable, but he could get past that now. He could regain his humanity and still have the primal urges he now had. He could become a full man and a great fighter, a team player. He could have a family, one that accepted him. He could do it all if he had a life companion. He needed one.

He needed Marie.

Rogue needed an aspirin. She had gotten this headache once she and Kitty and Jubilee had left the classroom and found the new boy. They had tugged on her and whisked her along so fast that she had no way of stopping them. Not that she would, though. The problem wasn't in humoring her friends, it was in humoring them even though she knew that one of them wanted the guy for herself.

And from the way Kitty looked at him, she did.

Not that there wasn't something to be said about the man. That's what he was, a man, not a boy like Bobby or John or even Remy, the last person that Rogue had been hooked up with.

He was tall. Even though anyone standing next to Professor Xavier looked tall, Rogue could tell he was over seven feet in height. He wore a flannel shirt with the sleeves cut off, the white tee shirt underneath it poking its short sleeves out. His blue jeans were both loose and tight. Loose in the right places and tight in all the good ones. He wasn't just tall, though, he was big. Wide shoulders, thick neck, massive arms all denoted power in his tall frame. His crew-cut brown hair left his handsome face free for all three girls to gaze upon.

He seemed unaware of the three girls looking at him as he spoke with Professor Xavier.

"Thank you for this opportunity." The big man was saying in heavily accented English, "I don't know how I can ever repay you for the chance to control my powers better. I've always been afraid that my strength would hurt someone. Or that I wouldn't know what would hurt them, since it takes so much for me to ge hurt."

"Just your acceptance of my offer is enough. After all, it can't be easy, turning your skin into metal and having incredible strength and stamina." Xavier said. Then he noticed the girls in the doorway of his office. "Ah! Kitty, Jubilee, Rogue. I'd like you to meet Piotr Nikolaievitch Rasputen."

At the three girls' looks, the big man offered, "You can call me Peter."

"Peter, these are three of our prize pupils here at the Xavier Institute for Gifted Youngsters. Kitty Pryde, Jubilation Lee, and Rogue."

Each girl smiled as she was named. Peter only looked at her quizzically when he heard her name, but he let it slide. Rogue didn't like anyone calling her by her given name. She preferred they call her Rogue. The professor obliged, knowing she had her reasons.

"Peter is a new student and will be staying on indefinitely." The Professor began, "How would you like to show him around?"

Kitty instantly spoke up, "We'd love to Professor!"

"Good. Take him for a tour. When you get back, Jean will show him his new room."

With that they had walked out and started to show Peter the mansion and grounds. That was three hours ago and now Rogue had a headache. The headache came from a mix of things. Some of it was attributed to the group they had managed to accumulate while walking the halls. Bobby had joined them, then John, then Remy. Then some more kids had joined but melted away almost as fast as they came when they realized who was here, namely her. But some of the reason people left was also due to the way this little group interacted.

Jubilee was hot for Bobby and he for her. John wasn't hot for anyone, but hung out with Bobby, even if it meant hanging out with Kitty. And Remy was still trying to wriggle his way into Rogue's affections even though after the third time he had asked her out after their first date she had told him in no uncertain terms that she was not now nor ever would be interested in him. He just seemed to feel it was an open invitation for him to try harder.

And Kitty, well she was making cow eyes at the new guy Peter. And, him being the gentle soul he was, Rogue didn't know how she knew but she did, he tried to ignore the way she looked at him. The most frustrating part about it was that Kitty would try to hook Peter and Rogue up before trying for him herself. And then Rogue would have to put up with guilty looks from her friend, much like she had to with Jubilee when she got together with Bobby.

So Rogue had a headache and just wanted this tour to be over so she could get alone with Kitty and tell her that she wasn't going to go along with their scheming. She wanted to tell Kitty that she wouldn't want Peter, even if he was tall, strong and handsome. She was going to tell her, but right now she just wanted to be done with this damn tour and away from Remy and his slick advances.

Remy really was good looking, with his red hair and matching red eyes. And his Louisiana accent was cute, but like with everyone else, there was something missing. So Rogue grew weary every time he was around, because he tried too hard. It was almost as if he was ashamed of not being able to score with her. Not that he could. But Rogue did like him, and he was charming, but he was not what she wanted.

Finally the tour finished as Jean walked up to Peter and said, "Would you like to see your room now?"

"Yes, please." He replied, his Russian accent making him sound so innocent and pure. He turned to the girls and said, "Thank you for the tour. Maybe some time we can all go out on the grounds again."

With that he was striding along with Jean, the redhead straining her neck to look up to the man's face as they talked.

"Well dat was nice, eh chere?" Remy said, looking at the departing duo.

"He is nice." Kitty breathed, the first real thing she'd said the entire time.

"Pretty Kitty likes what she sees." John said teasingly, "Is Pretty Kitty ready to pounce?"

"Shut up!" Jubilee snapped. She was aggravated because Kitty had volunteered them, but hadn't said a thing, leaving her to lead the tour, "Let her alone!"

"Awe, c'mon, I was only joking." John said in defense.

"Yeah, well, I'll only be joking when I shoot you with plasma. Now you three boys get out of here before I, like, do something."

John and Remy were about to tease her about her lack of a distinct threat, but when Bobby said, "Let's get out of here. She means it." They followed him.

Jubilee then grabbed Kitty by the arm and dragged her into the room the three girls shared, angrily mumbling the entire time. Rogue followed her, not wanting to miss out on one of Jubilee's rare and well-worded tongue-lashings. Jubilee may have stuck up for her friend with the boys, but when they were alone, she was going to hear it. And there was no way Rogue was going to miss out on it.

But when the door shut, nothing happened the way Rogue thought it would. Instead, Jubilee turned to her and said, "Well?"

Rogue was dumb-founded. "Well what?"

"What do you think of him?"

"He's nice." Kitty said again, still cow-eyed and staring dreamily into nowhere.

"Yeah, he's nice." Rogue said, non-commitedly.

Jubilee looked at Kitty in disgust, then back at Rogue, "Is that all, I mean, he is such a babe. If I wasn't already, like, with Bobby, I'd go after him."

With that announcement, Kitty snapped to herself once again, "You would?"

"Duh!" Jubilee said, "Of course I would. He's tall, handsome, and has a great bod."

Kitty sighed, "Yeah, I know."

"Would you stop that?" Jubilee said, "How are we supposed to hook Rogue up with him if you keep mooning like that?"

Rogue ground her teeth in frustration. It was obvious that Kitty liked Peter, really really like him. But by the look on her face, it was also obvious that she would try to set them up on a date to give Rogue a chance at romance. Suddenly Rogue's headache got a lot worse and so did her mood.

"Listen up both of you," She said angrily, "I'm tired of this. I don't want to be set up on any more dates. I don't care how cute he is. Or how much older." That had been their new tactic, older men, because Logan was older. "If I want a love life then I'll have one. And I'll ask for your help when I do."

They looked at her as if she'd just sprouted a second head. Jubilee looked shocked and her hands twitched in front of her. Kitty's face was a mix of relief and concern. Rogue took a breath and continued.

"It's not that I don't appreciate it. It's just that I can't touch anyone anyway. And no one seems to measure up. So if we could just leave it alone?"

Jubilee smiled then, and Kitty followed suit.

"Okay, Rogue." Jubilee said, "We just wanted you to be happy."

"I am happy." Rogue said, "I've got two of the best friends in the world and a new family that accepts me."

"Then its okay if I. . . " Kitty started, then blushed.

"Sure." Rogue said, "And if you need help in being set-up for a date, I can help."

Logan stepped into a small bar just east of Windsor, Canada. He had been driving almost non-stop for the past two weeks, stopping only long enough to eat, relieve himself or get parts of his memory back. The latter took the longest and was why he wasn't at Xavier's mansion right then.

This bar was a pit stop for food and relief. He stepped into the bathroom and did his business after ordering a hamburger with fries and a beer. After stepping out of the restroom, he sat down at the bar and waited for his order. While he did, he thought about the past year, something he wouldn't have done before. But now he was a man, not a man-like beast. Now he had hopes and dreams and fears. Now he was no longer just Logan. His surname may still eluded him, or maybe that's all he had, but he knew now that he was more than he thought he was. More than anyone thought he was.

He had been a soldier, a spy, a farmer, a hunter, a trapper, a fighter, and a lover. At one time he had even been a husband. All this he knew because he had lived longer than any one man was supposed to. Maybe that was why they took all of his memories, not just the ones of the experiment.

Logan sighed a heavy sigh, then turned back to the bar. His burger was ready. Rare doesn't take that long to cook. Even in his oldest memories, Logan liked his meat bloody. The animal was always there; the experiment had just brought it out while driving the man inside.

But now Logan was more than he was fifteen years ago. He was more than he was two weeks ago, or even one day gone by. He was becoming more human while staying an animal. It was hard to describe, but a human caring side was now tempering his beast side.

This side was put on hold, though as he tore into his meal. He wolfed down his food like a man starved, and only stopped his assault on his plate when he had eaten everything there was to offer. He then chugged down his beer in record-breaking time.

He stood up and walked toward the door. He reached for the handle but stopped, listening. Music was playing from the jukebox, and for some reason, he was held captive to the song.

I've been sittin' here trying to find myself
I get behind myself I need to rewind myself
Looking for the payback listening for the playback
They say that every man bleeds just like me

Logan slowly turned from the door and headed to the jukebox, mesmerized by the words and the music. He'd never heard this song before, in fact, he hadn't been much into music since the experiment, but he instantly connected with the lyrics on a personal level beyond anything he'd ever attributed to music before.

There was a man sitting next to the jukebox, moving his head in slow time to the beat, smiling a satisfied smile, his eyes closed. He opened his eyes when Logan neared, and seeing the look on his face, smiled even bigger.

"Like this song?" He asked.

"Yeah. What is it?"

"God Only Knows." He replied.

"You don't know the name?" Logan asked perplexed.

"No, that's the song's title."

"Oh. Who sings it?" Logan said, looking at the jukebox.

"Kid Rock."

"Thanks." Logan said.

And that was all Logan said for the next two hours as he sat next to the jukebox listening to God Only Knows by Kid Rock uninterrupted. Despite his hurry to get back to Westchester, Logan found himself unable to pull himself away from the jukebox that played a song that sang to his soul.

Someone tried to put on another song, but Logan's bad temper stopped them. That and his incredibly hard fist to their face. No one bothered him after that.

It was funny, in a sad way. Except for a few lines here and there, the song was a perfect sonnet for Logan's fifteen wasted years. And most of his life before that, too. He had good times and bad, and for the most part he had been happy, but this song was everything about his life. Only God knew why he didn't die and why he went on. And that was why he stayed.

When he finally did get up it was after another memory had surfaced. And with it the realization that he'd spent so much time in this bar. He was so close to his goal now, and he had been side tracked for two hours. He walked out of the bar humming his new favorite song and started his bike. He rolled out of the parking lot and headed southeast, intent on making it to Westchester before the sun sank on the horizon again.



Everybody Knows My Name They Say It Way Out Loud. . .

Two days later, Rogue was sitting at the indoor pool with her friends. She wore a simple one-piece bathing suit that left her arms and legs bare. Needless to say, she was very careful of everyone around her. Which is why she was sitting by the pool instead of in it.

She would have gone in, accept for one thing. And that thing was Remy. He just didn't give up. And she had learned the hard way that he wouldn't leave her alone even in the pool. Everyone else would laugh and splash her, but they wouldn't come near her, because she became uncomfortable. But Remy had tried to grab her, had tried to grab her and toss her in the air to land in the deeper water of the pool. Only Kitty stepping between them had saved Remy the pain of having his life force drained and Rogue the embarrassment of having his thoughts in her head.

So she sat by the pool, absently playing with the chain of the dog tags she wore around her neck. She had only put them on two weeks ago after confronting Kitty and Jubilee about her frustration with their attempts to fix her love life. She had taken them off when they had started to hook her up with boys, telling herself that she needed to try to date. The lie fooled her for a split second. But she went through with it anyway, just in case. She was glad she had put them back on, she somehow felt more secure with them on. Secure enough that she was able to come to the pool with her friends and not worry about touch.

Well, almost. Because Remy was still there.

So she absently twirled the chain around her neck and thought about him. She had his memories in her head, and knew his personality. They had faded, were almost gone even before he had left over a year ago. And what she had seen of his life and personality had frightened her. The pure raw emotional core that was Logan was too harsh to comprehend without first-hand experience.

Yet despite seeing that part of Logan that he kept locked away from others, definitely not because of it, she loved him. She knew that she loved him after he had picked himself off the frozen ground he'd been thrown onto by flying through his windshield and asked her if she was okay. No concern for himself, nothing about his ruined truck, only concern for her. In that instant, she knew she loved him. And she knew that he felt something for her. She wasn't quite sure because he wasn't sure himself. It was affection, deep affection and a protectiveness that was beyond compare. But if it went beyond that, she didn't know.

Kitty and Jubilee waded over to where Rogue sat and asked her if she wanted to come in, breaking her reverie. They splashed her, adding that the water was fine. Of course it was, it was an inside pool.

Rogue shook her head slightly, "Nah, I'll just sit here and watch you guys."

Jubilee turned to look at Remy, who was playing water basketball with the other three young men. "I know, he is like, so rambunctious."

Kitty nodded curtly then added, "He should have more concern for your feelings."

"Well, they can't all be as gentle as Peter." Jubilee said, and all three girls giggled. Kitty and Peter had taken to each other very fast, and now were the hot couple of the school. Everyone talked about it, even Kitty. She said she didn't know why, but she knew there was a connection there. And even though he didn't talk about it, Peter felt it too. Rogue could understand that, even if no one else could. So when Kitty had said that, she had simply squeezed her hand in acknowledgement and understanding.

Then Jubilee jumped up in excitement, splashing both young women in the process, "Let's go sit in the hot tub. No one gets playful in there."

"At least they don't throw each other around." Kitty said, and all three of them giggled again, Jubilee blushing. She had gotten "playful" in the hot tub with Bobby and had told them all about it in vivid detail. Not that they hadn't asked.

They moved to the immense fifteen-person sunken-tub about twenty feet away from the pool and went in. Rogue loved the feel of the hot water against her skin and loved the fact that she could trust her friends and herself enough to relax and enjoy herself here. She closed her eyes and let the moment wash over her: Kitty and Jubilee sitting near enough that they could talk softly to be heard, but far enough so no accidental touching could happen.

Kitty was asking Jubilee about her little foray into this very tub, probably to get some ideas for a similar outing with Peter, and Jubilee was enthusiastically answering when the jets kicked on. The water in the tub started to foam and rise and the noise was too much for Rogue to hear the conversation anymore.

Then Bobby and John were in the tub, whooping and hollering for all they were worth while splashing the girls on jumping in. Remy swung his legs in the water and eased himself into the tub with the gracefulness of a cat. Peter slowly stepped down the steps and sat next to Kitty.

Rogue was annoyed by the jets being turned on; they made too much noise. She couldn't hear anyone without them shouting. And she couldn't get closer to them to hear what they were saying. And the foaming bubbling surface made in impossible to see everyone else's bodies, so she couldn't feel safe.

Jubilee and Kitty caught on to her discomfort, and immediately scowled at all four young men. Peter and Remy noticed, Bobby and John were too busy bubbling over how they had beaten the giant and Remy at the game of water basketball.

Peter opened his mouth to ask what was wrong when Jubilee snapped, "I don't care who won your stupid game. Who turned on the jets?"

Bobby and John quieted at Jubilee's outburst, and looked at everyone in the tub with confusion. Then Remy spoke up.

"It was me, da Cajun did it." He said.

"Well, you just go turn them off, right now!" Kitty snapped, picking up on her friend's temper.

"Remy just thought it would be nice ta. . . " Remy said in defense.

"Well, you just can stop thinking and stop the jets." Jubilee stated with heat in her voice, "We can't talk to Rogue with all this noise."

Rogue was grateful to her friend for not admitting the other thing. The thing that really upset her, not wanting to say it and ruin the feeling this little break had given her. Everyone knew that they couldn't touch her, even Peter had been told, but they didn't have to bring it up. And this group of friends did a good job pretending to forget. As they did now, letting Jubilee's explanation be enough.

"I'm sorry chere, it's just that the Cajun, he sometimes forgets dat dere are other people using da tub." Remy said as he started to climb out of the tub to turn off the jets.

But as Remy was hauling himself out of the tub with that cat-like grace, the jets were turned off. Then a gruff voice said, "Don't bother getting out, kid. I've got 'em."

Everyone turned to see who had said that. A gasp rang out from the group as they saw who had turned off the jets that were hidden by the corner of the wall. Not too many people came to the indoor pool this time of day on Wednesdays because this group had marked it their own time and everyone respected that. Or maybe it was because of Rogue's presence within the group. Either way, no one was usually there. But no one was expecting the man who'd uttered those words to be there.

Leaning on the corner that the jet buttons were behind, his legs crossed casually and his arms crossed in front of his chest, Logan regarded the seven young mutants in the hot tub. He was wearing jeans and a tee shirt, his hair wet and slicked back, the tufts of hair that stood up barely vertical. He looked haggard yet refreshed.

And while no one else noticed it, Rogue saw the difference in his eyes. They weren't cold and hard anymore. Still hard, but they had a warmth that had never been there before. Instantly she knew. She knew that he had found what he needed. He found what he had needed and now he was back for good. Her heart jumped to her throat as she fervently hoped he was back for her.

After looking at each person intently, settling on Rogue last and staring at her the longest, Logan turned on his heel and left. As he was going out he said over his shoulder, "Nice to see you Marie. I'll find you later. Maybe we can talk then, eh?" Then he was out the door and everyone was looking at her.

"So that's your name, eh?" Peter said his Russian accent not so thick thanks to the Professor's mental lessons in English, "You're real name?"

"An' all dis time Remy thought dat your parents were goofed in da head."

Rogue had blushed when Logan called her Marie, her given name. She had started to stammer when Peter turned to her with genuine interest and hinted that he was glad he knew her real name. At the mention of her parents, Rogue turned red again, but it wasn't a blush.

"Don't ever mention my parents again!" She said angrily, "They don't exist for me, and I don't exist to them!"

"Jeez, Rogue," Bobby began, "He was only saying. . . "

"I don't care what he was saying!" She snapped, "I don't ever want to hear about them again!"

With that she climbed out of the tub and angrily stalked to the women's locker room. Bobby got a nudge from Jubilee before she and Kitty followed their friend.

"Remy was only makin' dee joke." The Cajun said pitifully.

"Yes, my friend," Peter answered gravely, "But to Rogue it isn't a joke."

"How was he supposed to know?" John asked belatedly, "She never talks about it, so how does she expect us to figure it out?"

"Sometimes omission is the key." Peter said, then got out of the tub. He stood looking at where Logan had exited, "So that is Rogue's mystery man, Logan. I thought he would have more hair."



Its Been So Long Since I've Been Home

Logan had pulled up to the institute's gates a day later than he had planned. The problem was that the closer he got to Xavier's school, the more of his memories floated to the top of his consciousness. And he knew they were too important to ignore and that if he didn't consume them and make an effort to remember them, they'd be lost again. He couldn't take that, not again. So he pulled over and let the memories wash over him. By the time he did get to the mansion keep, he had a good deal of his life back, only a few big chunks of time gone and only little pieces scattered about missing.

He was a lot older than he thought, his earliest memory dating back to the beginning of the eighteen hundreds. That was something he hadn't expected. He had expected his memories of the Civil War to be the earliest. But they weren't. Logan felt ancient, but knew it would pass. And while he came to grips with his longevity, he rode closer and closer to Westchester.

When he finally reached the mansion around three o'clock in the afternoon, the first thing he did was go to Professor Xavier's office. As much as he wanted to find Marie and never leave her side, he knew this was the right thing to do. He stopped in front of the oaken doors and listened for anyone other than the Professor in the room. Then he sniffed the air, picking up scents. The Professor was still in there, his scent said he came in but hadn't come out. All the other scents were both ways, in and out. So Logan lifted his hand to knock.

"Come in Logan."

It was said before his knuckles rapped on the door. Dropping his hand and turning the knob, Logan smiled ruefully and stepped into the office.

"Hello Logan." Xavier said with a smile on his face. And damn if it wasn't genuine. Logan couldn't remember the last time, well, actually he could remember the last time someone was really glad to see him. It had been over twenty years ago, just before his last life companion had died. Her name had been Silver Fox. She was a real beauty, a Native American who loved the outdoors as much as Logan did. When he thought of her, he got a lump in his throat. He quickly swallowed it down, though and motioning to the chair on the other side of Xavier's desk from the wheel chair bound man and the nod of consent from him, sat down.

"Hey there, Chuck." Logan didn't know why he called him that. It felt so personal. He wasn't mocking the man in front of him. He never could do that, not after what he had done for him. And it came out as a sincere familiarity. Logan looked at Xavier with a questioning glance.

"I don't think anyone has ever called me Chuck." He said, little surprised, "But I think I could get used to you calling me that." His smile flashed again, and Logan knew he meant it. To Logan that smile meant that he and Charles had an understanding. That understanding was that Logan could call him Chuck and no one else could. Because the man behind the desk understood what Logan had done by calling him that.

Logan smiled too, a big honest smile. And then he told Xavier about what he had found and how his memories had started to come back to him after seeing the laboratory that had rendered him a perfect killing machine. And how he figured he was more than two hundred years old.

Charles Xavier listened with keen interest. He had never met anyone like Logan in his life. Someone who had had everything taken away, even his very self. Yet the man had a sense of honor and purpose that lay dormant due to his will to survive. Or maybe his honor and purpose had strengthened his will to survive in the colds of Canada after they had dumped him in the wasteland to freeze to death, not being able to kill him themselves. Logan pushed on because it was the right thing to do. Turning over and dying was not part of Logan, even a Logan without a past.

The other thing that struck him was Logan's change. When he had left he was cagey and hard, gruff and violent. Charles could still see traces of those characteristics, but they were balanced and softened by the existence of new traits. Humor was one of them, so was patience and tolerance. All of this Charles picked up in Logan's voice, demeanor and way he told his story. Charles Xavier did not go into people's minds, especially those he cared for, without permission or dire need.

Logan spoke for over an hour without stopping. The only words Xavier was able to get out were small prompting phrases and questions that took the story further. Not that Logan needed encouragement, another thing that changed. He actually seemed willing to talk to someone, something Charles knew hadn't existed before he went to Alkali Lake.

"So here I am, finding myself back here after a few months. . . "

"It was over a year, Logan." Xavier stated with a small smile playing on his face.

"Okay, a year," Logan conceded, "And I was wondering if there was anyway I could stay on?" Logan didn't try to hide his emotions, he didn't have to. Charles was now a friend. He could call him Chuck, no one else could. His face was eager and the question hung in the air.

"Do you want to be an X-Man?"

"I don't know." Logan said, "I've thought about it a lot. Well, not a lot, but more than I've thought about things before. I've done a lot of that lately."

"Thinking?"

"Yeah."

"It's part of a healthy psyche."

"I don't know if I believe in your cause, Chuck." Logan said, stating his feelings, "I've no doubt you mean the best and that your vision is great. Peace between humans and mutants would be great, but I don't know if it can happen." He looked away from Xavier, then back at the man who had changed his life, "I just don't know if I can give my life for a cause I don't know will work."

"I see," Charles said, folding his hands on his desk, "So why did you come back?"

"Because this is home." Logan said flatly without hesitation.

"Do you believe my, our, cause is worthy of consideration?"

"Yeah, but I don't know if it can ever come about. There's too much fear."

"Then you and I must work to alleviate it." Charles said, wheeling himself from behind the desk to be beside his new friend, "Only when humans see we mean no harm and that we just want to exist will they stop fearing us. You understand that, don't you?"

"Yes." Logan said hoarsely, a lump forming in his throat, "I think I could be an X-Man."

"Good. Because we need someone like you, Logan. Someone to balance Scott's zeal and commitment. We need someone who questions why we do what we do. We need you."

That statement nearly made Logan cry, and he never cried. Not ever in any of his memories. It wasn't a macho thing, it just was the way he was. With good man saying that he and the other X-Men needed him, he nearly did what he had never done in two hundred years. His eyes actually stung with the salt of tears. He didn't fight them back, but they didn't come. When he had regained his composure, the Professor looked at him.

"That's not the only or even the most important reason you came back is it?"

"No."

"I don't have to be a telepath to know that."

"Chuck, there were things I needed to know."

"And now you know them." It wasn't a question.

"Mostly," Logan said, "And now that I know I have to know something else. . . "

Xavier nodded his head knowingly and gripped Logan's hand in a firm grasp of acknowledgement and understanding, "Do what's best Logan, but don't hurt her."

Logan breathed a sigh of relief and stood up. "Thank you Chuck, for everything." He turned to leave, then stopped before reaching the door, "And thank you for understanding."

As Logan turned the knob, Charles said, "She's in the pool house, she and her friends go there every Wednesday to relax and get away from it all. Oh, and Logan, your room is still waiting for you."

Logan quirked a half-smile, "Thanks."

And he left to find the reason he'd come back to Westchester.

When he did find her, after a quick shower so he'd be presentable, another trait he'd picked up in the last few days, he'd seen the boys playing in the pool and Marie sitting back far enough from the pool's edge not to be touched by someone coming over there unexpectedly. He saw her idly playing with the chain to his dog tags, and that stopped him from coming in. She wasn't looking at anything, but the look on her face was contentment. So he stayed behind the door, his hand resting on the handle, just watching her.

Then her friends came over and they moved to the hot tub around the corner, past the wall that jutted out to allow the tub to be in the same building as the pool. Then he couldn't see her anymore and he growled, nearly going in. But then the boys were still in the pool, playing a horrible game of water basketball. He didn't want to intrude yet, he didn't want to break off Marie's contentment.

When the boys finally noticed that the girls weren't in the pool anymore, they got out and headed past the corner too. The two little squirts went first, running and yelling. Following behind them slowly was a bear of a man, he wasn't a kid, that much was certain from the way he carried himself. He had to be seven feet tall and he was very well muscled. Logan knew about strength, it's what kept him alive for so long, and he could tell that his man was more powerful physically than anyone he'd ever met. He couldn't explain it, the man just exuded it from the way he walked. Logan could confirm his suspicions later by smelling him.

All that he was waiting for was the tall skinny kid with red hair to round the corner. He finally did, after pushing some buttons. As soon as the kid was out of sight, Logan turned the handle and stealthily padded across the room to where he could hear Marie's voice. Just that would be enough for now. Barely enough, but enough.

Then he heard a female voice yelling about the jets and that they made talking to Rogue hard. He growled at that, letting his protective instincts take over for a moment. As civilized as he had become with his memories, he never had been completely civilized to begin with.

Then he heard a male voice say a pathetic excuse for an apology. So he did the first thing that came to mind. He reached over and turned off the jets, stepping around the corner in the same motion and said, "Don't bother getting out, kid. I've got 'em."

He didn't go any farther than to clear the corner so they could see him. Then he casually leaned against the corner of the wall, crossing his legs at the ankles and his arms at the chest. He didn't want anyone to see his nervousness at seeing Marie for the first time in over a year.

He looked at the group of seven young mutants, eyeing each of them in turn. The boy with red hair slowly lowered himself back into the tub, sheepishly looking at Logan. He instantly disliked him, hate was too strong a word, because he was the one who turned on the jets that ended Marie's contented stay in the tub. And if what he guessed was right, she probably didn't get too many of those.

His gaze went around the group, measuring each person and finally settling on Marie. He stared at her for what seemed an hour, every eye on him, not knowing what to make of him. Realizing that this wasn't the time or the place, Logan looked into Marie's eyes. Her pupils widened, and he knew she knew he had changed. But now wasn't the place, not with her friends.

So he turned abruptly, hiding his smile. He didn't want her to know how much he had changed yet. And as he walked out he called over his shoulder, "Nice to see you Marie. I'll find you later."



People Get What They Deserve

The next people that Logan saw were Jean and Scott. They were in the immense kitchen, listening to the dinner menu that the resident cook had prepared. Logan had just come in for a drink, but upon seeing them, he waited until they were done talking and had turned around. Then he uncrossed his arms and walked toward them. Once there he swiftly jutted his hand out at the stiff leader of the X-Men and stopped just short of hitting him, offering him his hand in a shake instead.

"I didn't introduce myself the first time we actually met," Logan said as Scott looked at him puzzled, "So I thought I'd do it now."

Scott took the offered hand and it was pumped three times heartily with a firm grasp. Logan let go of Scott's hand and turned to Jean.

"Hey there, cutie." He said, "Miss me?"

"A little." Jean said, a faint smile playing at her lips and blush creeping up her neck.

"Listen Logan . . . " Scott began but was cut off by the shorter man.

"We need to talk." Logan said, then asked, "Is there someplace more private?"

"My office." Scott said, and led the way.

Once in the office, the ruby-eye-glass wearing man turned to the adamantium laced bone man and asked, "So how's my bike?"

"Good." Logan said, "I blew out the turbo getting back here though."

Scott's jaw dropped and he stared at Logan, his mouth working. Then Logan cracked a smile, it wasn't wicked, just playful, and he said, "Just kidding. I never touched that button. Had too much on my mind."

"Why do I find that hard to believe?" Scott asked.

"Would you two stop?" Jean asked exasperated, "I don't think this is what Logan wanted to talk about."

Both men looked abashed. Jean was stunned by that. Scott she could see being embarrassed, he was supposed to be the leader and above such petty squabbling. But someone pointing out his faults never would have put off Logan. He had changed in the year he'd been gone.

"No, that's not what I came to talk about." Logan began, looking directly at Scott and Jean, "The bike's in the garage and I would have done some work on it if I hadn't been in such a hurry to get back here. I'd have made sure it purred like a kitten and rode like a dream when I got back, but I didn't think about it, I had other things on my mind. I'm sorry I didn't work on it and I'm sorry I took it."

Both of them were floored by what they heard. Logan had just said more to them in those few sentences than he had the entire time he had been with them a year ago. And he apologized, first for not tuning up the bike and then for taking it. And the words weren't stinging or sarcastic. He meant every word! He could have pushed them over by breathing on them.

He stood there, waiting for them to recover. Jean finally did, looking at Scott and saying, "Can we sit down?"

Scott shook himself, cleared his throat, and said, "Yeah, let's." When they were seated in the furniture arranged in a semi-circle in a corner of Scott's huge office he said, "It's okay Logan. As long as I have my bike back."

Logan nodded and waited. Then Scott took the cue, "So what did you want to talk about?"

"I came back for one reason, but I'll stay for another." Logan began, sounding like the Logan they knew before he left, "I talked to Chuck and have decided to join the team. Become an X-Man."

"You talked to Professor Xavier?" Jean asked, "And now you want to become an X-Man?" He really must have changed. Last time he was here, he scoffed at the idea. Only the thought of rescuing Rogue had been what made him wear a uniform, and even then, he scoffed at that.

"Did you say Chuck?" Scott asked, horrified.

"Yes." Logan said flatly, answering both questions, "And since you're the leader, Scott, I wanted to be the first to tell you. To be sure you were the first to know."

One shock kept coming after the other. Before long, he'd tell them he was trying to reach his feminine side and start wearing a skirt. This was unbelievable. He wanted to join the X-Men, wanted to be sure Scott knew first, and he called the Professor Chuck? Scott didn't know what to say. So Jean said it for him.

"Thank you for the courtesy, Logan." She said, "I for one think you'll be a great asset to the team."

Scott was knocked out of his disbelief by Jean's words and said, "Yeah I do too. You got a great sense of purpose and sacrifice. I respect you for that. And you're a good fighter."

"But that's not why you came back, is it?" Jean asked.

"No." Logan said, "You don't have to be telepathic to know that, do you?"

"Not really," Jean said, "And you want to tell us?"

"Yes." Logan said, "Because I want you to know the whole story and not what could start flying around."

Scott shifted in his chair. This was uncomfortable. He had gotten used to the idea of a sulking, mean Logan. A man who'd come back on a hog and say he'd destroyed his bike and so what? This was throwing him for a loop. Maybe he was doing it on purpose, to get under his skin. But he looked and sounded sincere.

"I left because I needed to know about my past and about other things. My memory's coming back to me now. I'm becoming a whole person, and I like that. I also found the other thing I needed to know." He took a swallow to clear his mouth, which was suddenly filled with too much saliva. Logan didn't get a dry mouth when worried, he got a wet one.

"I came back because I had to." He had expected them to react. All they did was sit there, waiting. So he went on, "I've found out I'm old. Real old. And my pattern in life has been to find a life companion who isn't afraid of my mutant abilities and who will accept me for who I am. When I left here I had a tugging on my heart that I couldn't explain. Now with my memories back, I know what it was now. I found that person again."

That got their attention. Suddenly both of them were alert and sitting up straight. Jean had a look of concern on her face. Scott, utter horror. Logan knew instantly what they were thinking, and if this had happened before Alkali Lake, he would have strung it out for all it was worth. But now, he didn't see the use in being childish.

"Oh don't worry it isn't Jean." He said in an annoyed voice. Scott relaxed visibly, but then the information processed itself and he was looking at Logan, waiting. Jean hadn't relaxed, her facial expression had just changed from concern to interest.

"I talked to Chu -- the Professor, and he said it was all right as long as I didn't hurt her." He began, trying to quell any arguments they had before they started, "It's Marie."

"Rogue?" Scott asked.

"Yes, if that's what you insist on calling her." Logan snapped, "Is he always this dense?" He asked Jean.

"Not usually." She said, her mind somewhere else.

"She insists we call her that." Scott said after giving Jean a dirty look, "Do you think this is the best thing to do?"

Logan rolled his eyes. "No, that's why I asked Chu--Professor Xavier for his opinion and told you about it."

"She's so young." Was all Scott could get out.

"That's why I'm not sure."

"Why her?" Scott managed to get out with a little more coherence.

"Because she looked into my soul and didn't back down, run away, or even flinch." Logan said, "And that kind of woman can live with me for the rest of her life. I know. I've been with a few in my life that could handle me, and they had all seen parts of my soul."

"How many?" Scott asked.

"I'm not sure," Logan replied honestly, "There are still too many holes in my memory. And besides it's none of your business."

Just then Jean stood up, motioning for the two men to do so as well. She turned Logan around an pushed him out the door.

"Good luck, Logan." She said as she started swinging the door shut, "Just don't hurt her. I'll convince Scott it's for the best."

Logan managed to get a "Thanks" out before the door was shut on him.

Jean turned to a baffled Scott and said, "It's all right. He was telling the truth. He does love her. More importantly, he needs her. He could fool himself about love, but not about need. And he won't hurt her."

"But. . . "

"No. We let him do this his way."

Logan smiled as he heard Jean's words. With her behind him, Scott would soon be too, even if he didn't want to be. Now all that was left was finding Marie.

He found her all right. Much later than he had hoped to. He was walking down the halls when he spotted one of the boys from the pool. He walked up to him and asked where he could find Marie.

"Marie?"

Logan sighed. Was he the only one who knew her by that name? "Rogue." He said and the kid recognized the name. The kid also then recognized Logan from earlier at the pool.

"She went into town with Jubilee and Kitty." The boy said, "Didn't want any boys tagging along. So Bobby, Remy, and Peter are skulking and I got no one to hang out with."

"Do you have any idea when they'll be back?" Logan asked, not really caring about the kids' problems, he'd survive.

"Dunno. Late." Was all he offered before walking away hastily from beneath Logan's stare. He may have become more human, but that didn't mean he was any less frightening.

So Logan was out in the garage, tinkering with Scott's bike, making sure it was as close to perfect as possible while waiting for Marie and her friends to arrive. While he was working, he was listening to God Only Knows over and over again on the new CD player he had bought when he'd gone into town to look for Marie. He'd found her, but the way she was laughing and joking with her friends in a relaxed manner made him shy away. He wasn't going to barge in on her fun day out. So he bought the best portable CD player available in the electronics store and this CD. The words played softly as a background sound as he tuned up the engine, he wanted to be able to hear Marie come home.

People don't know about the things I say and do
They don't understand about the shit I've been through
Its been so long since I've been home
I've been gone, I've been gone way too long

Then he heard a car pulling up to the garage and the engine shut off. Then, after what seemed like an eternity, the doors opened and closed. Shopping bags rustled in the night, and female voices carried through the garage door. And one of those voices was Marie's. It had changed a little, grown just a tad deeper, but it was still unmistakably Marie.

Logan wiped his hands off and started walking toward the door when the voices stopped suddenly. It wasn't a door separating him from the girls, it was a sudden cutting off of conversation. Logan stopped and padded his way softly and silently to the door and looked out the small window.

He saw Marie with those two girls, Jubilee and Kitty, standing about ten feet from the door. In front of them stood that red haired kid who had turned on the jets in the hot tub. The two other girls quickly rushed inside, shutting the door behind them. Then that kid took a step closer to Marie. He bent down and said something to her. She shook her head and darted past him.

She didn't get far. He grabbed her long sleeve encased arm and turned her around, talking all the while. When Rogue tried to get out of his grasp, he merely laughed and tried to kiss her. He didn't get very far in his quest though.

Logan was moving by the time Remy had caught her arm. By the time he was trying to plant a kiss on her lips Logan was jerking him around. Then Remy got to know what it felt like to have an adamantium-laced fist hit him square in the jaw. Remy went down to the black top and when he was able to see straight, glared at Logan.

"What did you do dat for, mon ami?"

"I ain't your friend." Logan said, "And you keep your hands off of Ma--Rogue. She ain't interested." The beast within Logan was winning an internal battle and if this punk so much as looked at him cross-eyed, his claws were coming out and they'd have to clean up blood for the next couple of days.

The kid looked like he had learned his lesson, and even mumbled an apology to Marie. Logan turned his back and started to escort her back into the house when he heard it. The kid got up and fished something out of his pocket, by the sound of it, then he threw it at Logan's back. It hit and exploded, knocking Logan down and into Marie. Logan's back was on fire and his breath was ragged from the sudden shock of the impact and explosion. But that's not what made him mad. He could sympathize with someone retaliating against a knock down. But what he couldn't forgive was Marie being in the line of fire.

"Dat's what you get for messin' wit da Cajun." The punk said, "No one messes wit Gambit an' walk away."

Not bothering to see if Marie was all right, Logan rose and turned, his shirt falling off in tatters from his shoulders to splay across his waist like a flannel kilt due to it being tucked in. Remy looked scared at first, then smirked. Reaching into his pocket, he withdrew a playing card and it crackled and glowed with energy.

With a growl Logan unleashed his claws and sprang toward the youth, every part of him knowing that this was somehow right. He'd hurt Marie and now he'd pay. But before he could reach the skinny kid he hit a wall and bounced back. On the other side of the silver wall was an explosion. Then Logan picked himself up again and tried to get around the man standing in his way.

Logan was picked up by the scruff of his neck as if he was a feather. Looking at the man holding him, Logan recognized the giant from the pool. Logan had been right, the man had incredible power. In the man's other hand was a terrified looking Remy. He held the two men apart at arm's length, too far for Logan's claws to reach the kid.

"This is not worth it my friends." He said in heavily accented English, "Please, do not kill each other over a misunderstanding."

Logan lashed out, trying to cut the man to make him let go. His claws simply grazed off the metallic skin he seemed to have now with no affect. "He hurt Marie, bub. That's all that matters. And it is worth it."

Peter shook his head in agreement, but didn't let go of either man. "Protecting those we love is always worth the cost, eh, friend?" He said sadly, "But not this. This does not need to be." Turning to Remy, he said, "Hurt pride is best left that way. Better that than no life at all. And without those people behind those walls, none of us would have a real life, would we?"

"No, guess not." Remy said, shame-faced.

"No more troubles." The big Russian said, putting the two on the ground, "There's enough of that in the world without us adding to it here."

Remy looked at Logan, then to Marie, who he just now noticed had been caught in the blast. Kitty and Jubilee were helping her up. She had a split lip and a dazed look. Remy then looked back and forth from Logan to Marie and then walked away in silence out toward the grounds.

Logan watched him go warily. He had turned his back on the boy once, and wasn't going to make that mistake again. When Remy was out of sight and had been for a few moments, Logan sheathed his claws and turned to see if Marie was alright.

She was standing in the doorway, her friends supporting her, watching him. When his claws retracted into his arms, she turned and slowly walked into the mansion. Not before Logan had seen the look in her eyes. It was an odd combination of fear, disbelief, and anger. But she smelled proud and hurt. It didn't make sense. But from the way she was walking into the mansion, he knew better than to follow. When a woman set herself like that, she didn't want to be talked to.

Scott and Ororo were in the door as Jean led Rogue away, probably to the medlab. Scott took in the scene, Logan's shirt hanging in tatters from the front of his jeans where it was tucked in, Peter still in his metallic form with a three pronged gash on his shirt and a hole flapping in the breeze from the small explosion Remy had produced. He looked questioningly at the big man, who only shrugged.

Ororo's eyes never left Logan, "What happened?"

Logan stared at them for a moment, then stated flatly, "Just a misunderstanding."

"Misunderstanding?" Scott asked incredulously, "I hope no one was hurt."

"No." Logan said, the animal within subsiding and the man coming out again, "And it won't come to that." With that he turned to Peter, who had now reverted back to his flesh body and asked, "Could you turn off the radio and lights in the garage for me, bub?"

Without waiting for a response, he stalked past Ororo and Scott and into the mansion.



I've Been Walking That Thin Line

Rogue let herself be led down to the medlab by Kitty and Jubilee, who followed Jean. There was pain in her lip and her thoughts were fuzzy. She also felt a little dizzy and lightheaded. Then she felt nauseous. But she stumbled along hardly aware of her physical feelings.

Logan was back. That much had sent she and her two friends to town so they could talk without the boys' interfering. The two other girls had buzzed all day about him, and Rogue had blushed a few times at the suggestions they made. They even bought her a few new outfits to wear in front of him, to see what his reactions would be.

Kitty and Jubilee were very perceptive. They knew the reason Rogue shot down all the boys they set her up with was because they weren't Logan. They also knew that if Logan hadn't promised to come back, she might have moved on. But he did promise, so she held on to that hope.

And now he was back. And he had stepped in and stopped Remy from kissing her. What that boy was thinking was beyond her, he knew he'd get hurt. But he tried to force himself upon her anyway.

Logan stepped in like a white knight and stopped Remy and threatened him. And Rogue knew, or at least was very sure, that that had significance and meaning about their relationship.

Logan cared about her. Otherwise he wouldn't have gotten physical, she was sure of that. But how deep was his care?

They had reached the medlab and Jean had Rogue lay on a table, Jean flashed a light in her eyes and then said, "I thought so. You have a mild concussion. Nothing to worry about. But I don't want you going anywhere right now." Then the redheaded doctor cleaned up Rogue and sent the two younger women away.

An hour after Rogue had been there, the door to the lab opened and Remy stepped through the opening. His eyes were crest-fallen and his face was haggard. He looked pitiful. He shuffled over to Rogue's bed and looked down at her. Jean kept back to where she couldn't hear anything, but made sure she was still in sight.

"Hey dere, chere." Remy said.

Rogue looked at him, her eyes focusing, and smiled a sad little smile. "Hey there Cajun."

"Remy knows now why you tol' him dat you weren't interested." He said, "I taught you was just foolin' aroun'. But dat Logan guy is for you, non?"

"Yes, that's right Remy." She said.

"Here, da Cajun was thinkin' you were playin' at the mysterious Southern Belle. Hard to get at. You just don't like da Cajun."

"It's not that, Remy." Rogue started, "I'd like you to be a friend. But that's it. No romance between us."

Remy nodded sadly, then gave Rogue a wicked smile, "Dat Logan, he's a lucky man. Yes, chere, he's a lucky man." Remy took her gloved hand and kissed it gently, setting it back down, he said, "Here's to friendship, petite. Maybe we can survive as friends, since bein' anythin' else could never happen."

"Not with Logan around." Rogue said, choking back tears. She had hurt Remy, making him think she was playing hard to get. Her tears were also grateful, Remy would make sure no one else got between her and Logan either. He was a good friend. And now that he knew there would never be anything between them, he'd be even better. Once he came to grips with it, he would be. If Logan didn't kill him first.

The air crackled with tension for the week following the misunderstanding that had been the talk of the school every time Logan and Remy were in a room together. If one was in a room and the other entered, their eyes immediately locked and everyone present held their breath as the two men tensed. Then the feeling would subside slowly, and the two men would go out their business.

For six days this went on. Then one night Rogue heard Remy laughing, and Logan growling from behind his door. She quickly ran to the outside of his room and listened carefully. Oh God, she hoped they weren't killing each other.

She turned the door and barged in, completely caught off guard by what she found. Logan sitting on the bed and Remy sitting on a folding chair with a table between them, they were playing poker and drinking beer. The sounds of a blues song could be heard as background music. Peter was with them too, concentrating on the cards in his hand so much that he didn't notice her rude entrance.

The other two men did. They looked at her, startled expressions painted on their faces. Remy grabbed at his bottle of beer as he stood, trying to hide it in a reflex born of being underage. Logan simply smiled at her.

"Hi Marie." He said pleasantly, "Want to join us?"

"Yeah, chere, have a beer an' watch da Cajun win da pants off dese two old men." Remy said, relaxing and sitting back down, "Just don't tell Summers, he hates it when I drink."

Peter looked up, but immediately returned his gaze to the cards in front of him. A small blush was creeping over his face, threatening to become a full-face one. He must have been embarrassed to be drinking with someone too young. Or maybe it was the gambling. Either way, he was embarrassed. He'd be mortified if anyone found out.

"Don't worry," Rogue said, "I won't tell anyone about this."

The two younger men relaxed much more, and Logan simply smiled. Without looking at her he said, "Are you free tomorrow? I need to talk to you. This last week wasn't a good time. And I really would like to talk."

Rogue stared at Logan. He really had changed in the past year. He was more relaxed, and this outburst of conversation was not what she remembered about him. That's when she noticed the décor of the room. There was a small portable CD player on the small table by the door and a large three hundred CD changer sound system in the corner by the bathroom, undoubtedly the source of the music. And the CD's. There were hundreds of them, all stacked in towers or racks. They ranged from techno to classical, from metal to soft rock, from love ballad to oldies. She'd never seen so many CD's in one person's possession, not even Jubilee's, and she was a collector of music.

"Are all these yours?" She asked, reaching for the top CD on the nearest pile.

"Most of them." Logan replied, looking at his cards, "Some are from Chuck's personal collection and some are from the library downstairs. But most of them are mine."

"How did you collect so many so fast?"

"I just bought them." Logan stated simply, "I'd sample them at the store and buy whatever caught my attention." He shrugged slightly, "I had to do something with the money I earned on the road."

Rogue gaped at the collection, stunned. She never imagined Logan for the musical type, but here was the proof. And he didn't seem ashamed of it at all. He had changed, that's for sure. He wasn't the same Logan who'd left a year ago. And that thought both excited her and depressed her at the same time. But she still had to talk to him too.

"Yeah, I'm free tomorrow. I don't have any classes, and I don't have anything planned. How's lunch sound?"

"Sounds good." Logan said, looking directly at her, "Let's make an afternoon of it. I have a lot to say."

"So do I." Rogue said as she closed the door behind her.



They Say That Every Man Bleeds Just Like Me. . .

They never had the chance for that meeting. Instead they had to fight for their lives and lives of those at the school.

Xavier had monitors and sensors throughout his property, giving them warning of anyone approaching from anywhere other than the road. If someone was going to sneak up on them, they'd be found out fast.

Logan awoke to the sound of claxhorns and alarms with a start. He knew what that meant. Someone was attacking the Institute. Pulling on jeans and grabbing a shirt, Logan ran out of his room barely remembering to grab his boots as he passed by them.

A minute later he was in the control room of the lower levels along with Jean, Ororo, Scott, Peter, and Professor Xavier. They were all looking at a monitor that displayed where the threat was coming from. Scott had his battle visor on and was pointing to the screen while Logan slipped on his boots, tying them without looking, too intent upon the screen.

"We detected it here." Scott said, "About twenty miles northeast of the mansion. It's moving fast, already covering five miles in two minutes. Whatever it is, it's big but not a mutant. The early warning for mutant attack didn't go off."

"So what are we waiting for?" Logan asked, "Let's go get it and stop it from getting here."

Xavier looked perplexed and worried, "Cyclops, take the X-Men out there and stop whatever it is from getting here. I'll get the junior team ready as back up just in case. And I'll get all the younger students to the vault, just to be safe." The vault was a bomb-shelter type structure that Xavier had for the youngest mutants that would not be able to fight off an attack.

"Oh my God!" Jean said, "Whatever it is just walked right through that lake and is now only ten miles away! It's heading straight for us!"

"Stop it!" Xavier commanded and the X-Men left without suiting up, knowing they didn't have time.

Scott, Logan, Ororo, and Peter rode out to where the intruder was coming from in two jeeps that were stored in Xavier's huge garage, Jean staying behind to organize the second team. Based on the straight line it was taking, they didn't need to bother with searching for it. And from the sounds in the wooded area they stopped in front of, it was coming through the woods like it had the lake, through them, not even bothering with walking around the objects in it's way.

Scott got everyone spread out and ready. When whatever it was walked out of the woods, they'd be ready to spring a trap on it. Then it walked out of the woods. The intruder was a large man, taller than Peter and almost as wide and thick with muscle as he was tall. He wore red pants and a tight red sleeveless shirt and a weird helmet that went from shoulder to shoulder and kept his entire head and neck under a protective dome.

Scott stood up, "Stop!" He shouted, "You're trespassing on private property!"

"I'll do a lot more than that when I reach Charles." The hulking man yelled back.

Scott's mouth tightened as he clenched his jaw in anger. No one threatened the Professor. He reached up and let go with a powerful blast to knock the big man down. But the big man simply stood there, absorbing all of the blast, then walked forward.

"Is that all you got little man?" The red clothed mountain asked, "I hope not. Charles always did say you mutants were powerful. I was looking for a good fight before I killed him."

This infuriated Scott, who turned his visor to full power and blasted away at the giant lumbering toward him. His strongest beam had the effect of pushing the large man back a few steps, but not for long and the big man kept walking forward.

Ororo lashed out with lightening bolts, one after another hitting the man. But no matter what they did, he just kept coming closer to them. When he did reach the little team, Peter and Logan were the only two who did not retreat. Scott and Ororo took hurried steps back, blasting the intruder with powerful hits when they saw an opening while Peter and Logan attacked the man.

Logan jumped at him, claws out and arms ready to cut. He was knocked aside with a powerful swipe of one arm and landed in the hard dirt thirty yards away. A little dazed, Logan stood and rushed back to fight the brute.

Peter was in his metal form and hitting the intruder with everything he had. He pulled his first punch a little, knowing the strength behind it, but the man didn't even slow, so he let more and more of his power seep into each hit, until he was hammering away at the red shirted chest that didn't move, except forward. With all his strength, Peter was unable to stop the advance of the intruder.

Then the bigger man landed a right hook to Peter's jaw and sent him flying toward a small grove of oak trees. Peter rolled with the force of the blow and stopped a few feet from the trees. He noticed Logan jumping on the back of the man, trying to get a claw into his skin. Peter tried to stand, and felt light-headed at the movement. His head swam, this man had more power than Peter could imagine, he'd never been hurt in his metal form. He stumbled back and his back bumped a tree. Turning to it, Peter was inspired.

On the back of the red-wearing monster, Logan was trying to injure him. The only problem was that his claw weren't affective. They simply bounced off the man's skin, not even leaving a mark. This only infuriated Logan more, and he tried harder and harder to get his claws to hurt the big man.

Logan was suddenly grabbed by the head and thrown hard into the ground in front of the intruder. His breath left his body upon impact and his eyes were blurred with pain. He almost blacked out.

No! I have to fight! Logan screamed at himself, Get up and face him like a man!

However, his body wasn't responding, trying to heal itself was all it was concerned about. And the intruder wasn't letting Logan get up anyway. He brought a foot down hard into Logan's ribcage and stomped on him a few times.

The pain was immense. Logan was glad right then for the experiment that had made his ribs unbreakable. For if he had normal bones, he surely would have died right then. As it was, when the intruder was done stomping on him, Logan was imbedded in the earth three feet with loose dirt partially covering him and every muscle, joint, and organ in his body on fire. He lay there rasping for breath as the intruder moved on. Logan's body was kicking into overdrive to heal him and keep him alive.

Get up! I didn't get all my memories back just so I could die a few days later! And I'll be damned if he gets to Chuck after all he's done for me! Got to fight through the pain, got to get up!

While Logan was struggling with keeping consciousness, Peter had run through the woods, stumbled was more like it, to get a little ahead of the intruder. The pain he felt was gone, he pushed himself past it, but he never thought he'd meet someone with strength to equal or better his own. And the man never so much as flinched at the pummeling he received from Peter.

Peter was woozy, the run through the woods had drained him. But he couldn't give up. Stopping this man was too important. If he got to the mansion, who knew what kind of damage he'd do? How many children would be killed?

The thought of someone killing children enraged Peter and the normally gentle giant's face contorted in anger. He grabbed a tree and yanked it out of the ground and stood waiting for the intruder.

He saw him coming, creating a path through the woods that hadn't been there before, and swung the tree at him like a bat. The log broke and splintered into hundreds of thousands of pieces at the impact and still it had no affect on him that Peter could see. He didn't even stumble. He did look to where the silver-skinned man was standing, though.

Moving quickly, quicker than a man that size should be able to, he crossed the distance between Peter and himself. He picked the smaller man up by his throat and smashed him into a tree, breaking the trunk in two and letting the top half fall on Peter's limp body. The metal encasing started to fade as Peter lost consciousness.

Then the intruder walked on, ever closer to Xavier's mansion. Scott and Ororo watched in utter horror as their most powerful blasts did nothing to stop the man advancing toward the school. Now they were within half a mile of the mansion, and the line had to be drawn here. They had watched helpless as he had stomped Logan into the ground, then broke a tree on Peter's back. Both men were probably dead, or close to it, but they couldn't worry about that right now. They had to stop this intruder.

The last line consisted of Scott and Ororo and the younger mutants, X-Men in training. There were Bobby and John and Remy, Jubilee and Kitty and Jean, who had stayed at the mansion to lead the youngsters and who'd use her telepathic powers to try and stop the intruder. They all looked so scared and determined. They wouldn't let the intruder past them. They'd die trying, anyway. And Ororo had a feeling that was exactly what it was going to come down to. They were going to die, and she didn't even know if it would stop this monster from advancing and destroying the Xavier Institute.

They braced themselves when Ororo had a thought. She looked quickly at Scott and said, "If he's so immune to our attacks, why is he wearing a helmet?"

Scott thought about it, then nodded in understanding. Raising his voice, he said, "Aim for the head. Try to take the bastard's helmet off." The others around him nodded, not even fazed by Scott's unusual profanity, they were so wrapped up in getting ready to do battle.

When the intruder topped the small rise and was in sight, Bobby turned himself into an iceman and rode a path of ice to get closer to the red-swathed man. Once there, he encased the big man in an ice block that was seven feet thick. The ice seemed to stop the big man. Everyone let out a shout of triumph that was quickly choked in a cry of dismay. The man broke free of the ice and seeing the mansion, started running towards the house.

Bobby, God bless him, had the presence of mind to freeze the ground in front of the giant man, sending him sprawling. He crashed to the ground, and when he got up, he was surrounded by the last line of defense, all of them hitting him with everything they had.



When The Walls Come Tumbling Down. . .

Rogue watched the battle at the little hill unfold before her. She was standing next to Professor Xavier in the library, watching her friends and mentors fight a losing and hopeless battle. Everything they had thrown at the giant man wasn't even fazing him. She watched, a lump coming to her throat as Jubilee was hit with the tail end of a sweeping arm. The hit didn't look like the man was really trying to hit anyone hard, but the way Jubilee crumpled on the ground said it all. This man was powerful.

She had noticed right away that when Cyclops and Storm had topped that little rise, Peter and Logan hadn't been with them. That had scared her. She didn't think anything short of her sucking his powers in could stop or hurt Logan. And the fact that he hadn't shown up yet was an indication to how hurt he must have been. She refused to dwell on the idea that he could be dead. Not her Logan, he couldn't die. Not before she talked to him.

"What does he want Professor?" Rogue asked.

"I don't know." He replied, "The helmet he has on is much like the one Magneto used, it blocks my powers."

"Is that why they got so close?"

"You're very perceptive." Xavier answered, "Yes, I have a feeling his only weakness is underneath that helmet."

As she watched, Bobby and then Scott fell to the big intruder. Finally she could take it no more and ran out of the room toward the door.

Xavier's voice followed her, "Be very careful Rogue." It was tight and controlled, he was upset and afraid but didn't want to show it. And he knew what she was going to do. He knew and realized it might be the only thing to save them.

She ran all the way to the battle without thinking about what she was going to do. This man was just so powerful, and she knew she was the school's only hope. If she could somehow latch on to him with her bare hands, she could drain his power and stop his attack.

As she neared, a figure sped out of the woods and stopped in front of her, between her and the intruder. It was Logan. His shirt was torn, his skin caked with leaves and dirt, and his claws were extended. With a growl he took measured steps toward the intruder.

"Go for the helmet, Logan!" Storm said, "He doesn't want us touching it. It must be his weakness!"

The intruder turned to Storm and attacked her, snarling in anger as she flew above him. Logan jumped on the man's back once more, but his time used his claws to pry his helmet off.

In the midst of the confusion, Rogue ran up to the man and took off her gloves. Seeing a rip in his red pants, she placed both of her hands on the man's leg. Her hands barely went around the front of his thigh, he was so big, but the reaction she received was very different from what she had expected.

He stopped, looking down at her in curiosity, but there was no pain or fear in his eyes. She didn't feel the rush of memories or life force like she did any other time she touched someone. She felt a power seething along his skin, almost like a shell, and that power twitched and jumped at her touch.

He was so absorbed in the feeling of his power jumping around that he didn't notice Logan loosening the helmet. Or of it falling away. Then two things happened at once. The power in him shifted and Xavier reached out to find out what his intentions were.

When the power shifted in the intruder's body, it lashed out to the two people touching him, Rogue and Logan. Rogue fell back, her ability to absorb people's powers enabling her to take in the incredible power and only dazing her. Logan flew in the air for a second time that day and landed in a heap twenty feet from Rogue. If not for his healing factor, he would have been seared to a crisp from the power emanated and directed at him full-force.

Xavier reached out to the mind of the intruder, and when he did, he understood everything. Acting quickly, before the man could defend himself, Xavier hit him with a powerful psychic blast that would have killed anyone else. The man swayed as if receiving a knockout blow, then crashed to the ground, unconscious.

Rogue stood up on shaky legs, dusting herself off, and looked around. When her eyes fell on Logan laying in a heap on the ground, she ran over to him. Well, more like she lurched to him. Something didn't feel quite right, and she moved slower than usual. Her vision blurred from the exertion her body felt in absorbing the power that had lashed out at her and then walking on top of that.

She finally made it to Logan and dropped to her knees. Carefully, she used his shirt to shield her hands from his skin and cradled his head to her breast. He was breathing, raggedly and shallowly, but with each inhale and exhale, his breathing got better. Then he was breathing normally, deep and long, his eyes still shut.

The younger students came out and started to drag the unconscious back to the mansion. Kitty looked worriedly around and was helping with Jubilee's body when Professor Xavier and Jean went by her and she tagged along with them. Xavier pointed in a direction and said, "He's over there. Be careful, he's hurt badly." The two women hurried off in the direction he pointed, and he rolled over to the hulking man laying in a heap of red cloth.

Rogue didn't move, holding Logan tight. He would be alright as soon as his body healed from the shock of battle. He'd be alright and he'd walk back to the mansion himself. She sat there for thirty minutes while the others took the unconscious from the battlefield to the medlab treatment. She snarled at anyone who tried to take Logan to the medlab, knowing instinctively that he just needed time to heal.

When Kitty and Jean walked past her, a stretcher floating in front of Jean by her telekinetic power with Peter lying in it, Rogue's heart jumped to her throat. Kitty was holding his hand tightly, and he was looking at her with half-closed eyes, a smile playing on his puffy and bruised face. Peter had told them about his mutant gift of superhuman strength and durability while in his metallic form. He said that he had once had a stick of dynamite blow up in his hands and only his clothes were the worse for wear. For him to be bruised in the flesh meant that he had to have taken an incredible beating at the hands of the intruder. But he was alive.

Remy limped over to Rogue and asked, "Chere? Are you gonna be alright?"

"I am, Remy." She replied, "But I don't know about him." She glanced down at Logan then looked at Remy, "We gave it our all, every one of us. And I just want to worry about him."

"No need to worry." Logan said, his voice a little hoarse, "I'm fine." As he said those words, he looked up to Rogue's eyes and reached his hand up, up to where her long gloves usually covered her forearms. But she had discarded her gloves in battle and now was using Logan's shirt to hold him.

His hand clasped her bare forearm and he held her arm, the absence of cloth not registering in either person's mind. Logan was still groggy from the fight, Rogue was just so relieved he was alright. Then the feel of his rough and callused hands on her soft and smooth forearm registered to both of them. Then another thing registered, they had been touching like that for a minute before they realized it. And nothing had happened.



Still I Feel the Same. . .

In the medlab, three hours later, Henry McCoy was turning to Remy, Logan, and Rogue after finally finishing up with the four wounded members of the X-Men. He looked tired and drained. Hank, as everyone called him, was the newest adult member to the school, with thick heavy fur and the body of some monstrous beast, he didn't fit very well on the outside world. Despite his wild appearance, Hank was mild and very intelligent. He took over for Jean in the medical practice here so she could spend more time training her telepathic and telekinetic abilities.

Jean's job during the battle had been to contain the intruder. She had come a long way in her powers and was a lot stronger since on top of the Statue of Liberty, but she admitted that just slowing down and taking the killing power from the intruder's moves had been almost too much for her. Which is why the X-Men were only battered and bruised, not lying dead.

Jubilee had only had a mild concussion, the result of a "light" hit to the head by the intruder. Light meaning that Jean strained all her powers when she saw the arm approach Jubilee, and he had only hit her with mere fractions of his strength. Bobby was better, only the wind was knocked out of him, his icy shell having protected him when the intruder grabbed him by the ankle and threw him into the ground.

Scott looked a lot worse than he felt. As least that was his story. Logan and Hank, hell everyone, knew that he was making it sound much better than it was. The entire left side of Scott's face was one big ugly purple bruise. From the side of his temple to his neckline, he was puffy and tender. His left eye was swollen shut so bad that there was no threat of his eye leaking the powerful eye-blasts that he was so worried about all the time. When he had taken off his shirt, it was even worse. His torso from neck to hip on his left side was a sickening black, yellow and blue that made even Logan grimace at the sight.

Hank was optimistic though, and told Scott that in a few days the worst of his hurt and discomfort would be over. A thorough examination had shown that there was no internal damage, only the bruising of his muscles. Hank told Scott to count himself lucky.

The worst was Peter, who had not been fortunate enough to receive Jean's cushioning of the intruder's power. Logan had had his healing factor, so he was all right. Peter was not. He wasn't in critical condition, but he wasn't walking out of the medlab like everyone else.

Peter had several bruised vertebrae along with every rib in his chest being cracked from the weight of that tree that had lain upon him in his unconscious and therefore non-metal state. His body was bruised beyond description, the color a mix of putrid hues too sickening to look at. The monitors said that he was going strong, but every time Hank looked at him, he winced in pain.

Jean was a wreck after bringing Peter back. It had taken all her will not to break down and cry when she was tele-lifting him back to the mansion. She had remained strong for Kitty's benefit, the young woman would have sobbed like there was no tomorrow if she hadn't looked and seen Jean's quiet determination to get Peter back and well. Jean blamed herself for Peter's condition, telling herself that if she been with the first defense party and used her abilities on the intruder's every step toward the mansion, he wouldn't be lying there unconscious. Scott tried to console her, but not being able to lift his arm and embrace her made his tender murmuring awkward. And Jean was in no mood for comfort.

Finally, Jean helped Scott out of the medlab, crying the whole way. Logan and Remy let out a sigh of relief when she passed through the doors. They didn't know if they could take much more of her self-afflicted guilt. Hank simply nodded and went to check on Peter for the fourth time in as many minutes and Rogue looked after Jean with sadness on her face.

Logan suspected that the reason Hank was fussing with Peter was that he didn't want to face the trio awaiting him. They had come into the medlab after everyone else. Remy was limping so he was examined, turned out he had simply pulled a muscle and would be good as new in a few days. When he had finished with everyone else, Hank was told about what had happened, and was astonished. An avid scientist and biological genius, Hank had done extensive tests on Rogue when he had first come the Institute, trying to determine the cause of her life-sucking abilities and if there could be a way to counter it. So far his test had come up with nothing but a machine that could detect her abilities.

So he had taken blood samples from all three of them, even Remy just in case. He had put them through the cat scan and several other even more sophisticated scanning equipment used only on mutants. He had used his "Rogue-ability-scanner" as he called it, on Logan and Rogue. All to no avail.

Finally done skirting around the issue, Hank came back to the trio.

"I don't know what to tell you." He began, "There's something there, but I don't know what it is. Rogue's mutant ability is still intact, and it works just as it should, just not on Logan."

Logan rolled his eyes. He may have gained a lot of patience and culture and honor and purpose with his memories, but he didn't like not knowing what was going on.

Rogue looked just as annoyed as Logan and even more impatient. When Remy saw Logan touching her, he got excited and happy for her and reached down to brush his knuckles on her cheek, words of congratulation being murmured. That's all he did, because as soon as his fingers brushed her skin, Rogue felt the pull on his essence begin. Remy did too, and he wisely pulled back in a hurry as if burned. Rogue was anxious to know why Logan could touch her for as long as he did, but Remy couldn't at all.

Remy sat on one of the examining tables, looking forlorn and wishing he could be somewhere else right now. But he had to know also. In fact everyone had to know why Rogue could touch Logan but no one else. The talk had started as soon as they came back, Logan refusing to let go of Rogue's bare hand as they walked to the mansion then down to the medlab.

"The findings thus far are remarkable." Hank continued, "It seems as if both Logan and Rogue's abilities have taken a giant step forward. Logan will heal faster now and Rogue will absorb a person's essence even quicker than she did before. That explains why Remy's brush on her cheek started the pull so fast. I also believe that her ability will be more aggressive."

"Oh great!" Rogue almost shouted, "Now I have to be even more careful."

Logan put a comforting arm around her and Hank looked a little ashamed at his bluntness. Sometimes he just got too carried away and didn't think of other people's feelings. This wasn't just some detached hypothesis or test subject, these were people. People he hoped to have as friends one day. He cleared his throat and continued in a more subdued manner.

"Then there's another thing that is puzzling." He pulled out a picture of a scan on Logan's arm that was fuzzy and out of focus. Then he pulled one that was labeled Rogue, "These two pictures indicate that there is a foreign source of power in the two of you that is quickly being assimilated to match your genetics. This could be the reason you can touch each other. In fact, I'm willing to say it is. But it doesn't tell me why."

"So you're telling me that I've suddenly got a power to touch Rogue, and her me? But you don't understand it?" Logan asked, impatience lacing his tone.

"I'm hypothesizing that is the reason." Hank replied, "But I won't know for sure."

"When will you know for sure?" Logan asked.

"Just give me a few days, okay?" Hank begged, "I'll do everything I can, but until then, I don't have any answers for you."

"How many days Hank?" Logan asked, his dark side coming through with impatience.

"Give me four."

"You got four days." Logan stated, "Four days to figure out why this is and if it will last."

Then he was stalking out the door, Rogue scurrying after him and Remy shuffling after her. He really liked Rogue, but now only as a friend. And when he saw them touching, figured she could touch anyone. Now his heart was heavy with sadness for her not being able to touch her friends. He just wanted Rogue to be happy.



Maybe I Forgot All the Things I Missed. . .

Rogue was unhappy. Two days had passed since Hank promised to give them an answer. Two days gone, two days to go. The wait was unbearable. She wanted to know why Logan had gotten away with touching her the entire time they had walked to the mansion, but Remy's gentle brush with his knuckles started the Pull immediately. Not that she was complaining about Logan, when he refused to let go and there was no apparent problem, she felt a thrill beyond any measure shoot through her.

He had held her hand and refused to let go, even though he didn't understand why he wasn't being sucked into her being. He didn't want to let go. And she didn't either. And she knew why she didn't. She didn't know if she would ever get the chance again. And she suspected that was the reason he didn't let go either.

And that thrilled her. But the way he'd been acting these past two days was strange, and it bothered her. Truth be told, it was very vexing. He'd walk into a room she was in and look around. She knew he was looking for her. He'd then start toward her, determination in his eyes. A few feet from her, he'd stop and sniff the air. Then his body would slump and he'd get a resigned look on his face and walk out of the room.

Or she'd be in a hallway. And he'd turn a corner and purposefully advance upon her. He'd be all steel resolve to get to her. But again, a few feet from her and he'd sniff the air as if searching for something, and he'd leave, his face that with that dejected look on it.

Finally she could take it no more. The waiting was getting to her, Logan's stalking up to her then abruptly turning around was agitating her. And Hank's revelation that she might be able to touch Logan but kill anyone else in a matter of seconds had her over the edge with worry. She needed to know something. And by God, he was going to explain himself!

She strode out of her room and down the hall to Logan's. She stopped in front of the door, her hand held an inch from knocking on the wood. There was classical music pouring out from behind that door. It was powerful and moving, but Rogue had to stifle a giggle at the thought of Logan sitting on his bed listening to something by Beethoven. The thought alone made her want to tilt her head back and howl with laughter.

She couldn't resist seeing what he looked like, so she turned the knob ever so slowly and eased the door open, being as quiet as she could. What she saw confirmed her need to laugh. There on his bed, legs crossed underneath him and back braced against the head board, sat Logan eyes shut, his face a calm mask of peace and serenity.

Rogue stopped wanting to laugh and felt a little embarrassed at coming in here like this. He obviously enjoyed his music, the fact he had so many CD's told her he'd become a music freak, and she shouldn't make fun of his enjoyment. She knew better than anyone how little of that he'd had in the past fifteen years.

She was about to turn around and leave as silently as she'd come, but his voice stopped her.

"You want to talk?"

She looked back at him, he still hadn't opened his eyes. "How did you. . . "

"I could smell you." He said softly, his voice barely carrying over the music, which he'd turned down by sticking his hand out and turning the knob on his stereo without looking.

"Yeah, I'd like to talk." She said, closing the door and coming deeper into his room.

A small smile curled Logan's lips and he opened his eyes. The smile reached his eyes also. That was something that didn't happen before he went back to Canada. "Sit down on the bed. I promise I won't bite."

Damn. She was hoping he would, or could. That seemed like a possibility now. And that was one of the things she was so agitated with. She wanted to know if touching Logan would be a permanent thing, because if it wasn't, then they were wasting time not making memories to cherish forever. Starting with Logan biting her in that sensual way he did when he got aroused. She almost blushed. Having his memories had been both good and bad. Now she hoped she could see them as good. Before she had just pushed them aside, not wanting to deal with them if she could never touch.

Now that she could . . . whoa, she had to slow down, one thing at a time.

Logan just sat watching her, waiting. He seemed so calm, so relaxed and collected. She tried to look calm and collected too, but she fidgeted and plucked at his blanket. She was too nervous about what Hank would find to calm down. So she finally broke the silence with the bluntest thing she could think of.

"Why are you stalking me?"

The question definitely caught Logan off guard, and it took him out of his calm reverie. He snapped is head to attention to look in her eyes and tensed up. Rogue giggled at his reaction and explained, "Well, you aren't being too subtle. Everyone knows about it. You come into the dining hall with everyone watching. It's mortifying."

Logan thought about that, he'd never considered it. There was just something different about his senses now. Since two days ago, his senses seemed to be even keener than before. He could pick out scents more easily than ever, Marie's especially. And when he had tracked her down during the last two days, it was weird, but he had no memory of actively following her scent until he was almost to her. And that's why he always left before he got to her. What was he supposed to say? I just became intoxicated by your smell and couldn't resist any longer, I had to be with you? And he wasn't ready to talk to her, so he couldn't tell her he needed to be alone with her. He knew he'd be ready when she was, and she would come to him. She had. Now he could talk to her.

"Marie, I don't know how to explain it. I just needed to see you those times."

"Without talking to me?" She demanded, "And why do you call me Marie and not Rogue?"

"Because Marie's your given name and a lot prettier than Rogue," Logan said calmly, "And because I wasn't ready to talk to you then."

He had just answered both of her questions and did so in a non-grating manner. He just complimented her on her name and admitted to a weakness, all in the same breath. He really was a changed man, and the more changes were evident, the more Rogue loved him.

"You weren't ready? Are you ready now?"

"Yes."

"So talk to me." Rogue said.

"Marie, I love you." Logan never was one for mincing words or for formalities, "And I need you." These two statements had a visible effect on Marie. She closed her eyes and trembled slightly. Her breath caught and Logan could hear her heart quicken. She had longed to hear those words since he gave her his dog tags. She never dreamed he'd tell her so bluntly and out right though. A changed man in more ways than just love for music.

"I love you too, Logan." Rogue replied, "And I want to be with you." She started to come closer to hold him and kiss him, but Logan held her off, "What?" She asked, hurt in her eyes.

"I want to take you, but I have to talk to you first."

The look on his face and in his eyes said it all. It was about his life and what he'd found in Canada. She sat back down and leaned against the foot of the bed frame.

"This is about Canada, isn't it?" She asked.

"It's about me." Logan replied, "It's about us."

Rogue got Goosebumps from the way he said us. It was so heavy, so committed, so full of reverence.

"What about us?" Rogue asked sheepishly.

"I want there to be an US." Logan began, putting definite emphasis on the us, "But there are things you have to know about me before that can happen. I need to know that you can accept them."

Oh dear Lord, here it comes. Rogue thought. His terrible past and how he's not good enough for me. She opened her mouth to dispel any arguments he had, but was cut off by Logan's voice.

"I'm old Marie, damn old." He began, "As near as I can figure, my oldest memory is in 1821, and I looked the same age as I do now, so I'm probably a lot older than that." He paused, letting her digest the information.

This wasn't what she was expecting, and it threw her. She had practiced hundreds of scenarios in her head to refute his claims of him not being good enough. And even a few of him saying he was too old. But with this revelation, she had no idea what to say or do. After all a few years was one thing, a few hundred another entirely.

After a while, she just nodded and weakly said, "Go on."

Nodding Logan did just that, "I'm telling you this because I want us to be together. For the rest of our lives. But it's a sure bet that you'll age and I won't. You'll grow old and I will stay forever young." He paused then added, "Then there's the chance that my life span is almost over and I could keel over any day now, too. Either way, you have to know."

He paused again, letting what he said sink in. The woman across from him looked confused and was trying to puzzle out what he had just revealed. After a few moments he continued, "And I have to be honest with you, this time that scares me."

Her head snapped up from looking at her shoes at that. "This time?"

"There have been other women I've spent my life with. Each time it was total commitment. Each time I let them know the score, and each time I've had to watch them die."

She felt as if she had been hit in the stomach with a wrecking ball. She looked like it too. Her eyes bulged, her mouth working silently. After a few minutes, she regained herself enough to look at Logan.

"Why are you telling me this?" Rogue demanded, "Did you tell them about your past women."

"I can't honestly remember."

"Then why tell me?"

"Because I needed you and loved you before I remembered my past. Before I knew myself, I loved you. Before I knew who I was, I knew who I wanted. Because you can spend your life with me. And because you have done something no other woman has ever done."

"What's that?" Rogue asked in a hushed voice.

"You have seen the animal in me and stayed." Logan said, reaching out and taking her hand, "The other women in my life only caught glimpses of it, and they were frightened. You've seen the animal side of me, the side that I was surviving on for the past fifteen years. You saw it at its very core when you got my memories, you know what a frightening thing it is. And you still loved me." He stopped then not sure of what to say next, "And for that I will always love you more than anything else on this Earth."

"More than any of those other women?" Rogue asked, her voice trembling and tears threatening to spill out. He was right, the core of the beast within was terrible to say the least. But not as bad as this.

"Yes." Logan said, "More than all of them combined."

"How many?"

"How many what?"

"How many women have there been?" Rogue asked.

"Oh, c'mon Marie, don't do this."

"I have to know." She said staunchly, the tears burning her eyes.

Logan looked away. This had been a mistake, telling her about the women he'd spent his life with. Women he'd been committed to for large chunks of his life at a time. Even though they were all long since dead and gone, he knew she'd feel second best. But she had to know that she wasn't now, never was, nor ever would be. And she'd know if he lied to her, something he never planned on doing.

"Five." It came out as a sigh, and he knew he'd regret it. But he couldn't stop it from coming out either.

Instead of the outburst he'd been expecting, Maria simply sat thinking for a minute. This time it was Logan's turn to be fidgety and nervous. He looked around, itching to put another CD in, to hear the soothing sounds that eased his soul, but knew that doing so would give Marie the impression he wasn't concentrating on her. And he wanted her to know she was the most important thing in his universe. Now and forever.

"Five women in two hundred years?" Rogue said softly, "That's only forty a piece, and that's if you hop right to the next one." Tears started to leak from her eyes.

"No, Mariko died two years after we met from an assassin's dagger." Logan said in defense, "And Silverfox in an avalanche soon after we were together."

"So you waited to find the right woman and didn't spend the rest of your life grieving for the one you'd lost?"

"Yeah, but it wasn't like I went looking at their burial." Logan snapped. This was not going how he hoped it would. "And life spans weren't what they are now."

"I know that." Rogue snapped back, her tears drying all ready, "And you say you remember them fairly well?"

"Well, I know of them. I don't remember their scents, or what their favorite color or flower was. Or even what they looked like really. All I remember about my memories is that I have them and that the ones I remember are stored in my mind like in a book without pictures." Logan stopped, trying to figure a way to explain it better, "When I first remembered Silver Fox, I could see her and smell her. But now, I just remember the facts. And that's enough."

"And is it the same way with me?"

"No." Was the instant reply, "Everything in the past fifteen years is vivid because it wasn't wiped away. These memories of the last fifteen years will always be that, memories. Everything else will just be facts in a book."

"And you know for a fact that you love me more than anyone you've known in those two hundred years?" This time the tears that Rogue fought back were of joy.

"Absolutely." Logan said smoothly.

"Sure?"

"Sure." Logan replied reassuringly, "Sure as anything I've ever been in my life."

"Oh Logan." Rogue cried as the jumped forward and hugged him to her, tears streaming down her face, "That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Thank you."

Logan hugged her back, speechless. It was enough that he was able to hold Marie. And it was enough that she loved him enough to see past the women he'd loved before and know he loved her now, and would forever.

"I wanted to tell you these things two days ago," Logan said into her neck, "But we got side-tracked. Then it didn't seem right because I didn't want you to think it was brought about by our sudden ability to touch. But I wanted to tell you before the tests came back because. . . " He stopped then, unable to finish.

"Because if they were positive, I might have thought it was the happiness of us being together. And if they were negative, I might have thought it was solace and comfort." Marie finished the thought for him.

Logan pulled back to look into her eyes, which were still watery, "You're so perceptive Marie. I want you to know that no matter what the test results are, I still love you and need you. Even if I can't touch you. The important thing is that we'll be here for each other."

Marie bit her lower lip to keep it from trembling. This was all she ever wanted, all she ever dreamed of. He was offering himself to her body and soul no matter what obstacles lay in their path. She felt on the verge of tears again, so she leaned into his chest and hugged him tightly to her.

"Thank you Logan."

"Thank you Marie."

"I love you Logan."

"And I love you, Marie."

They sat that way for quite some time, Logan with his legs crossed underneath him leaning forward to hug Marie, Marie with her legs tucked underneath her and leaning into Logan's chest, crying softly. Logan stroked her hair lovingly, but neither said a thing. After what seemed like an eternity, but was really fifteen minutes, Rogues legs started to cramp and her lower back began to ache. She shifted uncomfortably.

"There has to be a better way to sit." She said, not looking up.

Logan pushed her away and turned her so her back was to him. Then with his hands on his mattress, he lifted himself up and uncrossed his legs. His legs went straight out and apart a bit. Then he settled back into the headboard and drew Marie's back into his chest, holding her there with his arms in a loving and firm embrace.

Rogue placed her head on Logan's chest, a deep sigh of contentment escaping her lips. She rested her gloved arms on Logan's bare arms, then took off her long gloves to place their arms skin-to-skin. She liked that even better and told him so.

"Yeah, me too." He said, laughter in his voice, "As much as I like soft leather, I like soft skin even better." He reached over and turned on a CD, this time Gregorian Chant and gothic style chorus singing. He left the volume down, so the power of the music wouldn't ruin the beauty of the moment. And somehow it heightened the feeling in the room.

Rogue looked down, her smooth hairless white forearms contrasting with the dark, rough and almost furry forearms of her man. Yeah, her man. That sounded good in her mind. He was her man now. And soon she would mark him as such. And he would make her a woman. Not just any woman, but his woman. And all would be well with the world.



You Get What You Put In. . .

Two days and several trips to the medlab for more testing later, Logan and Rogue reported to Professor Xavier's office to get the findings from Hank. Why they were there and not the medlab was a mystery to Logan and Rogue, but here they were.

Logan and Rogue had spent the last two days together in Logan's room. They only came out for food and the tests and were only apart as long as it took for one of them to relieve themselves in Logan's bathroom. In the dining hall, they sat next to Rogue's friends so she could talk to them, but she kept her distance. She didn't want to put her friends in danger, so she'd wrap as much cloth about herself and feel pretty safe around them, even though the only person she felt safe around was Logan anymore.

People walking past Logan's door heard the music and their laughter or the soft murmur that indicated talking. Everyone was dying to know what went on behind the oaken panel, but no one dared knock or ask them when they came out. Logan may have seemed a new man, but no one was willing to take that chance right now and interrupt his time with the woman he loved.

So now they stood just inside of Xavier's office, bare hands held tightly. Hank was there, as well as Ororo, Jean, Scott even with his ugly bruises, and of course the Professor. Why so many people were here when this was such a private matter didn't make sense to Rogue. And she let them all know it.

They all had the good graces to look embarrassed, even the Professor. But it didn't last long. The Professor explained it to them.

"What Hank has found has everything to do with both of you and all of us here at the school. It also has to do with the intruder we had four days ago."

"Anyone learn anything about him?" Logan asked.

"If you'd have come out of your room and actually talked to people," Scott began, "You would have found out all about him."

He was cut off by anything else he had to say with a sharp elbow to his ribs, right side, from Jean and dirty looks from Xavier and Ororo. Xavier cleared his throat and began.

"His name is Caine Marko. Several years ago he obtained the ruby gem of Cytorok an ancient god, and became his emissary on Earth. Since then he has become the Juggernaut, nothing can physically harm him and no physical force on this planet is enough to stop his momentum."

"Which is why we weren't able to stop him." Logan stated, drawing the obvious conclusion.

"Exactly. His only weakness is telepathic attacks, which his helmet protected him from. When you were able to pry the helmet off, I read all of this in mere moments and was able to hit him with a sufficient force to render him unconscious for several days."

"Why didn't you just kill him and save us all the trouble of having him come back some day?" Logan asked with a deadly calm.

"Because I do not take life." Xavier replied just as calmly, "And even if I had tried, I doubt that I could have gathered enough strength to kill him. It's his weakness, that doesn't mean that it's easy to exploit." Xavier stopped to ponder his words, "The power endowed upon him by the ruby is greater than anything we can hope to comprehend, and it protected him from Rogue's touch. However, the power recognized her as a threat, even if Caine did not. So after assessing her for a few moments, the power itself lashed out, hitting both of you."

"Because we were both touching him at the same time." Rogue said.

"Yes." Professor Xavier said, "And that's how you both have the residual power in you."

"But how?" Rogue asked.

"That's a little easier to explain." Hank began, picking up his part of the explanation, "And just as unbelievable. The power lashed out at the two threats touching Caine's body, you two. Rogue, you simply absorbed the power and Logan's body recovered from the damage. However, due to the nature of this power, it adapted itself to your bodies' chemistries." Hank stopped and looked up just between Logan and Rogue's shoulders and got a far away look in his eyes, "I doubt anyone else could have survived that hit. Or had the side effects you have."

Logan was getting impatient with Hank's pondering and reigned in his temper barely. "What side-effects, Hank?"

The man addressed looked startled, then smiled at them, "Why your ability to touch each other. Caine's power from the ruby is invulnerability. That power was what struck out at you. That power was mutated when it entered your bodies and seems to recognize itself in you two, letting you touch. Anyone else, and it just lies dormant."

"Dormant?" Rogue asked.

"Yes." Hank answered, "It won't actively protect you from each other's touch until you are touching, or very close to each other."

"And how long with this residual last?" Logan asked.

"As far as we can tell, the rest of your lives."

Logan and Rogue looked at each other and smiled. Big hearty, open smiles. So they could touch each other forever now. That was almost enough for Logan to scoop her up and carry her up to his room and do all the touching she could handle right now. Almost, if not for her look of curiosity. He decided he could wait until she had had her questions answered.

"You said that the power was dormant and then active when I get around Logan?" She started, "Does that mean that I could somehow learn to activate it at will? When I want?"

"There is a possibility that with practice you could be able to train your new gift to curb your natural one." Xavier said, wheeling forward, "It won't be easy, but I believe I can help you mentally control it around other people to allow their touch."

Rogue started to cry at the thought. Just the chance to touch her friends, to be around them and not worry about hurting them was enough to send tears of joy out of her eyes. Logan was choked up too, happiness for Rogue evident in the gleam in his eye.

"There is also another side effect from the power." Hank said, "It has increased your mutant abilities." He stopped again and got that far off look on his face once more, "The power mutated once inside mutants and made their mutant powers stronger. Hah!" No one else was laughing though, so he concentrated once more and continued, "Logan's healing ability was off the charts before and increased phenomenally. So have your senses and reflexes, haven't they?"

"Yeah." Logan said, now knowing why his sense of smell was so much better. Hank had told them as much four days ago, but the findings were inconclusive. Now they knew for sure that their powers would be greater than before.

Rogue's face was ashen, her body slumped in defeat. Logan instantly became alert for whatever could have made her go from so happy to so sad in such a short time. Then he realized what it was. If his abilities were heightened, so were hers. And all the Professor's talk was just that, talk. They had no way of knowing if she could control her protective shield. No wonder she was so upset.

Hank was sensitive to Rogue's feelings and his voice became gentle, "Yes, Rogue, I know it will be hard for you. But I do believe that you will be able to control this new gift just as the Professor has said. It will be hard for a few weeks, until you learn how, and you'll have to be even more careful, but I think you can do this."

His words, accompanied by everyone else in the room agreeing with him seemed to cheer Rogue up. She looked at the Professor, hope shining in her eyes ever more brightly than moments before.

"Can we start now?" She asked.

"Of course." Xavier replied, "If you'll all excuse us, we'll begin mental training now."

Everyone filed out of the office, Logan being the last to leave after giving Marie's hand a quick squeeze. Then he was out the door, letting Rogue work on her shred of hope at finding happiness outside of Logan's embrace. He was very excited for her, but still skeptical, he'd keep his thoughts to himself and his hopes down until Marie was satisfied with her exercises either failing or succeeding. Whichever one it was, he'd be there for her.

Three hours later, Logan was listening to Bon Jovi's "Bang a Drum" when Marie opened the door. His eyes snapped open and his hand reached over to turn down the volume in the same instant. He looked at Marie, and knew that she had been working hard with Xavier. Her face and body were tired, and it was all she had to drag one foot in front of the other. But her eyes shone with excitement and hope.

Smiling, Logan stood up and carried her to the bed, "Chuck work you hard?"

"I pushed myself, Logan." She said sleepily, "And I felt it move."

"That's great, darlin'." He said, having no clue what she was talking about, but giving her encouragement, "That's great."

"Yeah." She said, smiling, "Just a few more days and I'll be able to control it." And then she fell asleep, laying on Logan's bed. She had barely lain down and she was out.

Logan watched her sleep for a few minutes, then quietly crept out of his room and down to Xavier's office. Xavier looked a little better than Marie, not so tired and much more excited, if that was possible. When Logan came in, he smiled and wheeled himself around his desk.

"Logan, it's incredible!" He began, "I thought in three weeks, she'd be able to a grasp of what I was talking about, and maybe by then I'd have a clue as to how we would proceed. But she led me to the crux of the matter and at this rate she'll be able to control shielding herself in no time!"

Logan was speechless, he'd never seen Xavier so uncollected. He was always the model of control and poise, even more so than Scott. Obviously he was impressed with Marie's determination and hard work.

"She exhausted herself. Fell asleep in my arms." Logan said, "She's sleeping now, smiling enough to make her face split."

"She has hope, Logan." Xavier said, regaining his composure, "She has a man she can touch who loves her." Logan squirmed a bit at that. He still wasn't comfortable discussing his emotions with anyone but Marie. "And soon she'll have the means by which she can stop worrying about hurting her friends. I wouldn't be surprised if she never stops smiling."

Logan smiled himself at that. Xavier was being sincere, really meant that he had hope for Rogue. And that meant that Rogue would succeed. And that meant she would be happy. So now Logan could be happy. He smiled and left with a quick thank you to Xavier.

He headed back to his room and silently entered his room. He walked to his bed an looked down at the sleeping woman under the covers. She was on her side, one arm tucked underneath the pillow and her legs pulled up slightly. Her shoulders and chest moved slowly and steadily with the gentle breathing of slumber.

Logan stood watching for several minutes, not moving, just watching Marie. His Marie. She loved him, that he was sure of. Why, he didn't know. Maybe he'd never know. Maybe he didn't need to know. All that mattered was that she did.

God only knows why she loves me. He thought to himself. God only knows.



Somehow I Know There's More to Life Than This. . .

Rogue loved Wednesdays. Logan had come back on a Wednesday. Caine Marko had come on a Wednesday, leaving behind a gift that she would always treasure. Wednesdays were also her fun days. Well, everyday seemed like that now. Now that she could control her invulnerability from touch and not worry about hurting everyone she came in contact with. But Wednesdays were much more fun than any other day.

Soon, Rogue kept telling herself, she would be able to shield herself without thinking. And even so life was good. She had a few more moments with Logan before her friends arrived. She never thought of them as their friends, but her friends. After all, Logan didn't really have any friends. Jean and Scott and Ororo were his collegues, but Rogue realized that it would take a lot longer for the loner in Logan to give over and allow him to have friends.

And while Rogue was his girlfriend, she wasn't a friend. He didn't act any different with her than he did with anyone else, but she never thought of herself as a friend. She was so much more. She was sure he didn't think of her as just a friend, not by the way he held her close at night and the way he looked at her during the day.

It had been two months since the attack on the mansion. Peter had recovered from his wounds faster than everyone expected, and had been walking around, albeit gingerly, for two weeks now. His spine had healed itself so much that Hank had been overjoyed at his progress. His muscles had held on to the bruised for longer than usual, but Hank had hypothesized that it was because of Peter's mutant metabolism that his bones healed first then his muscles. Whatever the reason, Peter had joined them last week and had walked around in the pool, no horsing around yet, and then sat in the hot tub, enjoying his friends' company.

It had been two months since Rogue had gained the ability to touch Logan. Two joyful months. Yet at the same time, two aggravating months. While she loved being able to touch Logan, and he reciprocated her affection, he drew a line and never let her overstep it. She had wanted to consimate their relationship, but he had said no. He had been so adimant, that she wasn't sure if he was still attracted to her, now that he could touch her.

So she steeled her will today and before her friends arrived, asked him, "Logan, why don't you want to have sex with me?"

He was about to pull himself out of the pool, no doubt to jump back in while splashing her. She would act like it upset her, and he'd laugh at her act, which is why she did it. He didn't laugh often enough. But this had to be settled.

He let himself back down into the water, and turned to face her. His face was serious as he said, "Because I want to make sure it's special. You deserve more than just a cheap fuck."

"But it is special." Rogue said, striding up to him, "Don't you think so?"

"Yes, it is special," Logan began, "But I want to make sure that it's permanent. I have to know we'll be here for each other for the rest of our lives. I want to make our relationship solid before we have sex."

"Okay." Rogue said, seeing his point. Then she giggled in relief, "And here I thought it was because you didn't find me attractive now that you could touch me."

"You mean that I wanted you because I couldn't have you?"

"Yeah."

"Come here," Logan said, sweeping her up and out of the water, "I'll show you about wanting someone." And with that he began to passionatley kiss her.

Rogue closed her eyes and let herself get cought up in the emotion pouring out of Logan. So he wanted a solid relationship first? She could handle that. He wanted to make sure they'd be there for each other? She couldn't see that not happening. The insights she had gleemed from his little confession made his kiss even more intoxicating, and she let herself slip away with it. Yeah, a permanent relationship with Logan would be a good thing.

Their necking was interupted by the entrance of Rogue's six friends. They could have kept kissing, except that Remy came over and splashed them to break them up.

"Hey, give da chere a break!" He yelled, slapping water at the couple.

With that, the weekly pool party was underway. Remy fetched a football for the guys to throw around, and Kitty and Jubilee joined Rogue for a little sitting poolside to watch the men for a while.

As the men played a game of waterball, Rogue watched Logan. He wanted to make sure this thing they had lasted. She did too, but he was taking grave pains to insure it. He wanted to make sure they were on good footing before they got too physical. But what did he mean when he said he wanted to make sure they were there for each other?

Rogue smiled as Logan dragged Remy and John with him to score a goal. She didn't care what he meant, she knew that he wanted them to last.

Beyond that, God only knows what he's thinking. She thought to herself. God only knows.



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