Hiding in the Light
by
Zerelda X


X-Men belong to Marvel. They're used strictly for entertainment purposes. Charlotte and Jadwin belong to me.

Sequel to Hunter in the Shadows.

Rated PG-17 for language and adult themes.

---

She hugged herself against the sudden chill that chased down her spine, poor comfort for this place. The air around her was thick and weighted, the forest noises loud and echoing. From the edge of her sanity a growl of thwarted rage rose over the forest, drowning out the sounds of a crying infant. She ran harder, wisps of fog swirling about her legs, searching for a way to the source of the crying. When she could run no more, she slowed to a stop, her blood burning and breath ragged.

Quiet flowed over the forest, drowning her in its silence. Her steps seemed much too loud now, hollow, echoing. She realized the chorus had been comforting. Alone in the stillness was much worse. Alone with the rustling that had begun in the shadows. She sank to her knees, choking on the thick air tainted with the scent of fear. Her fear.

She shivered, the hairs on her nape rose in response. A heavy darkness detached itself and moved toward her with unerring speed. She stood still, unable to move away, frozen in pure, unadulterated terror. The creature bore down on her, oozing raw hunger and need. It knew what was in her heart. It knew her. It wanted her. It wouldn't stop until it consumed her soul.

She couldn't stop it. Closing her eyes, she waited for the inevitable, offering up her life for a brief moment of peace.

"Yer mine, honeybitch...."

Charlotte bolted upright, a scream caught in her throat, struggling with the arms holding her.

`Libe,` the coaxing voice whispered in her ear, `come now, do not fight me.`

She shuddered to a blinding consciousness, blinking rapidly in the dim light, violently trembling from the nightmare. Her heart pounded rapidly as she took in her surroundings, and the comforting familiarity of the room. The familiar language of her mother's people murmuring to her. The man who held her tightly.

With a sharp, wordless cry, she buried her face in his neck, wracking sobs shaking her smaller frame while he held her close, stroking her hair back and rocking her in his arms.

He smiled wearily over her head at nothing in particular. She was crying, at long last.

~*~*~*~*~

Unable to sleep, Hank rose earlier than usual and looked at his desk calendar. October 1. He sighed, scratching his head thoughtfully, then dressed to go downstairs.

He entered the lab after stopping off in the kitchen for coffee, his mind already ticking over the established goals for today. He was determined to ignore the recent upheavals, something he told himself every morning, just to fail miserably at it five minutes later. Today was different -- he had several papers to finish reading, one of his own to review. An experiment to record data on. More brooding to do.

A gloom had fallen over the mansion since Charlotte's disappearance. After the furor of trying to find her those first weeks, the ending was rather anticlimatic. All Col. Fury could do was assure Logan she was last seen alive. It was hard to believe without a living, breathing body. Until Hank examined her himself, he would not believe she was well. He had a mental image of her crawling off to die alone.

September passed uneventfully, by X-Men standards, leaving everyone with a surplus of extra time. Logan spent the first part looking for her, with Remy's assistance. No luck. They came back empty handed and furious each time. Thomas did not return phone calls or e-mail messages. Hank could only assume his friend searched for her as well, and had had as little luck as they did.

Logan had grown more haggard and feral this last month. To say he worried would not describe his demeanor adequately, Hank thought to himself. Logan was in his own private version of Hell just imagining what Charlotte had experienced. He had a first hand reference to what Creed was capable of, what she had to survive, if she *had* indeed survived. Hank prayed daily that whatever Logan believed would be much worse than the actual event.

So deep in his own thoughts, he almost missed seeing the bundle of sleeping Charlotte on one of the beds, or the man sitting at his desk reading over his notes.

The stranger gave Hank a friendly smile. "Dr. McCoy, I am glad you've arrived." He rose to his feet with an eerie feline grace. "We have been waiting for some time.

"Who are you? How did you get in here." Hank went directly to the bed to examine Charlotte. This pale, thin cheeked woman bore only vague resemblance to the one who had disappeared eight weeks ago.

"My name is Jadwin," he answered. "I've done all I can for her, it's time for the child to come home."

Hank looked up from his hunched position over Charlotte. "Pardon me?" The stranger was of medium height, perhaps about 30 years of age. His golden-amber eyes twinkled at the furry, blue doctor with appreciation.

"We gated in not too long ago, Doctor," he continued patiently. "It wasn't easy to convince her to return, but this is what she needs. Will you notify her mate, please?"

Hank shook himself out of his brief shock. "Of course." He crossed over to the intercom and put out the call for Logan and the others to let them know she had returned.

Charlotte stirred on the bed, disturbed by the voices. `Jadwin?` she asked without opening her eyes.

`Yes, libe, we are here.` He stood next to the bed, brushing the hair from her face with a gentle hand. `Come now, greet your friend.`

"Charlotte, my dear," Hank began, helping her sit up on the edge of the bed so he could get a better look at her. His anger and pity for her gaunt appearance overrode his first inclination to scold her for not coming home sooner.

Before she was even upright, Charlotte pulled away from him towards Jadwin. `Please,` she said, `please don't.` There was an emotion in her voice he'd never heard in her before. Complete and utter terror.

~*~*~*~*~

Logan stormed into the medlab in response to the call, barefoot and shirtless, his jeans half buttoned. "Where the hell is she?" he growled before catching sight of Charlotte. He pushed his way through the crowd at the door to find her trying to hide herself in a stranger. "Goddamn woman, where the he--," he started, reaching for her to shake her, hug her, just reassure himself she was okay.

With a startled half-sob, Charlotte shrank back, apprehension flooding her face. `No --` She clutched at Jadwin's hand where it rested on her arm.

"Logan, please," Hank said.

"This isn't helping," Scott said with a sigh. "We don't all need to be here." He tried to restrain Logan with a hand on his shoulder.

Logan shook it off. "You wanna die here, Summers, then keep it up," he snarled as he shoved Cyclops out of the way.

"I think we all need to leave," Jean said.

Logan ignored her. "Hank, who the hell is he?" he gestured at the stranger.

"He is.... I'm not at all sure who he is." Hank tried to steer Logan away from the bed and was only partially successful. "He was here when I arrived. I believe he was one of her mother's companions."

Logan looked over at his wife trying to hide herself in the stranger, the waves of fear pouring off her, fear of him, *for* him. Her scent was different, confusing. Not her.

"Let's take this upstairs and talk about it over coffee," Jean suggested.

The normality of the suggestion almost made him laugh. He would have laughed, if it had been anyone else. Like they were going to have some goddamned party. He turned on Jean, his unshaven face and wildly twisted hair giving him a more feral appearance then normal. "I been runnin' scared for her for weeks, lyin' awake nights goin' crazy. I ain't leavin' her again, so don't tell me to back off." His rising voice got a stern look out of Hank; he lowered it again with a visible effort. "I'm stayin'."

"She's not going anywhere now, right?" Jean directed her question to Jadwin from across the medlab.

The stranger shrugged, petting Charlotte's hair, speaking over her as though she weren't there. "That all depends on what happens here." He turned his attention to the woman in his arms. `Kira, stop this. These humans are your friends, you've told me that many times.`

Charlotte's answer was to press harder into his shoulder.

Logan's face darkened further at her continued refusal to face him. How dare she depend on someone else!

"Logan, you are forcing me into doing something I would rather not under the circumstance," Hank warned him. "If you don't stop this, I will have you barred from the medlab."

"Wha'cha want me to do, Hank? Turn my back on her again?"

"You didn't turn your back on her at all," Scott reminded him. "She left on her own."

Logan didn't seem to hear him. "Ya know what it's like not knowin' where she is? Thinkin' she's dead an' never comin' back? I ain't fuckin' goin' nowhere!"

Scott bit back the words he would have yelled back at Logan if they were anywhere else, with far fewer witness. He did know. "That's enough," Scott raised his voice. "We're taking this upstairs. Storm, will you stay here with Beast?"

Ororo nodded. "Of course."

"Yer takin' this upstairs, Summers, I ain't goin' nowhere. Not you, Jean or God himself is gonna make me, an' if ya try I swear all hell's gonna break loose!"

`Jadwin, please, tell him to leave me alone,` Charlotte choked out a whisper that got Logan's attention.

The Torelan sighed. "She wants you to leave, Logan."

His eyes blazed. "Let her tell me," he growled, coming closer. Close enough to see the sudden panic flare up in her eyes.

She turned away from him without a word.

"Let her tell me to leave, an' I'll walk, but ain't none of ya gonna tell me to leave again," he ground out between his teeth. "Ya want me gone, Charlotte, yer gonna have to tell me yerself."

`Kira?` Jadwin prodded her.

`Leave me alone,` she mumbled, her eyes closed, face hidden in Jadwin's shoulder. She clung to the familiar with a desperation not lost the others.

Logan wanted to rip the stranger away from her and shred him right there. "Ain't good 'nough. Tell me to leave! I wanna hear ya say it!" Why wouldn't she look at him?

She muttered something he couldn't quite catch, but the exact words weren't needed. Her tone, body language, face; they said it all. Go away. Don't touch. Leave me alone.

Logan's mouth stretched in a grim expression. "Ain't gonna work on me, Charlotte." Another step brought him within arms' length. "Thinkin' if I don't know what yer sayin' it's gonna make a difference? Ya gotta tell me in plain words. Yer gone for weeks, then come back lookin' worse'n hell." He extended a hand to touch the faint traces of bruising on her face. "I don't think ya mean it."

Charlotte shrank back to avoid his hand. "Don't touch me!"

He blinked at the first intelligible words out of her. "Yer my *wife* for chissakes!" He came even closer, ignoring the was she cringed further and further away, until he was close enough to share the same breath. "Is that what ya want?" he asked in a soft, menacing voice.

She couldn't get any further away, Jadwin wouldn't let her. "Logan, please....." she whispered.

"Please what?" He wouldn't let it go. "Ya want me to clear out the room, just so it's you an' me? Ya gotta tell it to me plain, 'cause I can't read yer mind."

"Go away, please." The words were almost soundless.

"What'd he do to ya?" Logan whispered hoarsely. This wasn't his wife. His wife didn't shrink away from anything, much less him. She came at him with sword drawn and a gleeful expression, no matter what time of the day or night it was.

Jean quietly began to direct the others out of the room to give them privacy. Remy lingered to take one last look at the couple before Rogue tugged on his arm, nearly taking him off his feet.

Charlotte wouldn't answer him.

"If that's the way ya want it, darlin', fine. Don't be thinkin' about runnin' off again, 'cause I'll be comin' after ya, an' I will find ya. I'm gonna be closer'n yer own shadow from now on." He turned to stomp his way out without waiting for a response. There was no response necessary. He'd made up his mind that things were going his way this time.

~*~*~*~*~

"She arrived on my doorstep about six weeks ago. Her condition was much worse than what you see now." Jadwin told Hank in Xavier's study. The stranger was hustled out of the authorization-only areas and up to the first floor as quickly as possible. Charlotte was left under Ororo's supervision after submitting to a sedative.

"H'come ya didn't bring her back?!" Logan demanded. He stood near the door, ready to bolt back down to the medlab, hands clenched into big meaty fists.

"She didn't want to come back," Jadwin answered him coolly, a spark of humor in his voice.

"Who provided medical care?" Hank wanted to know. Aside from the eyes, and being male, Jadwin was as physically different from Charlotte as could be. He was blond haired with a faint golden sheen to his skin. He recalled that Charlotte once remarked all true Torelans had the same physical characteristics, blond, slender, eternally youthful appearances. She'd failed to mention the superior attitude. That attitude grated on more than a few nerves in the room.

"You are certainly blue," Jadwin observed. "Quite a lovely color. I took her to a physician familiar with her condition as a bastard half breed."

Logan's eyes narrowed at the phrase. "What the fuck do y'mean by that?!"

"Logan --" Jean put a conciliatory hand on his arm that he shook off.

"I mean nothing by that, Logan," the Torelan continued in the same aimless manner he'd displayed the entire conversation. "It is what she is. Her mother mated with a lesser species. Lorne is an excellent doctor and he has no prejudice in regards to her origins. He was present at her birth."

"Aside from that," Scott refrained from shooting Logan an irritated glance, "her condition, Mr. Jadwin?"

"Yes, Mr. Summers, the voice of reason. Due in some part to your lovely wife," Jadwin smiled at Jean. "Kira told me about all of you. You should know she's very attached to this group of people."

"Kira?"

"Pardon me, -Charlotte.- Kira is the name her mother gave her. Lorne will be happy to forward you a full report if you like, Dr. McCoy. She was kept sedated the first several weeks while her injuries healed enough to withstand her nightmares. She is still not sleeping well."

"Ya drugged her!?!"

"In much the same way she is now sedated in your infirmary, I believe. I will send a request to him as soon as I return home this evening." Jadwin smile benignly at Hank, his eyes roving over the large mutant with appreciation. He barely acknowledged Logan in favor of the interesting creature with the soft looking fur. "I did bring her home. It is up to her mate now to care for her. There's nothing left for me to do."

~*~*~*~*~

Scott found Logan in his room upstairs staring out over the back lawn to where Charlotte sat underneath a tree. The weather outside was gloomy and dark even though sunset still several hours away. He knocked on the open door.

Logan didn't turn around. "Whaddaya want," he said flatly.

"I need to talk to you about Charlotte," Scott began, then stopped. He didn't want to do this, but he had the team to think about and it was his responsibility. She was a part of his team, a dysfunctional part, but one he cared about in his own way. In some ways he hated it when the professor left for long periods of time. Some things he was just not equipped to handle, like this situation.

Logan shifted his stance to glare at Cyclops and still keep an eye on his wife.

"I think it would be best if she left."

Scott didn't get an answer.

He'd thought long and hard on this, and talked with Jean about the problem. Charlotte was not only unable to function as one of the team, the others were disturbed by her presence. He felt some time away from the mansion, just her and Logan, would benefit them and let the others get back to normal. Jean disagreed with her leaving, but had to agree on the disturbance with the rest of the group.

"You kickin' her out?" Logan finally asked in a dangerous tone of voice.

"No, we're not." Scott sighed. "She's been back for nearly a month, and she won't talk to anyone or let Jean help her. We can't go on like this. Maybe if you took her away for awhile things can settle down for her and the team." He continued in a rush. "For God's sake, Wolverine, she's sleeping in a different place every single night! I found her on our couch in the boathouse the other morning."

Logan knew that, they all knew that by now. What little time Charlotte did spend sleeping, she spent trying to hide. Every night he tracked her down to another makeshift bed, never in the same place two nights in a row. He'd found her in Hank's closet one night that first week, curled up in a tight ball under Hank's coat. Closets were a favorite place to bed down in, Hank's in particular. Gambit's ran a close second. Remy showed his customary tact and left blankets and pillows in his for those nights she sought refuge in his room.

It broke his heart that she wouldn't stay where he could take care of her. Broke his heart and made him angry. He was at a loss, more so than he'd ever been before. His wife survived this, but Creed still managed to steal something from him.

Maybe Sabretooth finally beat him, killed something vital inside this woman and left no corpse to mourn.

"She's refusing to speak to anyone, and when she does speak it's in that alien language. She's rejected any offer to help, any attempts at counseling are ignored. It's clear she needs more help than we can give her right now," Scott continued. "I spoke to Thomas this morning. He's suggested you take her to the summer house. He can arrange to have a friend of his see her, a psychiatrist. Perhaps she will respond to that."

"Got no right to be talkin' to him. Ain't no one's business."

"You don't believe he has the right to know what condition his mother's in?"

Movement outside on the back lawn got Logan's attention. He didn't answer as he watched Domino approach Charlotte. Neena's body language was stiff, her steps angry and purposeful. Something was going to happen.

~*~*~*~*~

"Do you have any idea what you did?"

Domino stood in front of Charlotte, arms akimbo, eyes flashing in anger, waiting for an answer.

There was none forthcoming.

"Damn you, answer me!"

Dimmed amber eyes flickered to her face, then away in dismissal.

"I'll tell you what you did. You pulled me into the middle of your goddamn problem, and I'm getting the heat. I don't like it, not one bit. Nate and Logan are blaming me for letting you go."

Still no answer. The other woman continued to ignore her, upping Dom's fury a little bit more.

"Nate's not forgiving me, by the way. As if I need him to forgive me for anything. I'd like to know how he expected me to stop you. You've got him calling here every goddamn day checking on you, and I'm sick of it."

More silence.

"This is pathetic," she sneered, "you are pathetic. I stood up for you, told them both you could handle it. Now look at you," she raked cold eyes over the still figure. "You should've just stayed gone."

"Fuck you."

Domino blinked. The words were scratchy, faintly accented, but still words.

"Well, well, the high and mighty 'Lady Charlotte' cussed at me. Why can't Nate and Logan be around to hear this? Ruin that pure, wholesome image you've got everyone believing?"

Charlotte rose to her feet and turned away from her.

"You're not going anywhere," Domino grabbed her elbow. "Not till I'm done talking."

She was prepared for Charlotte to yank her arm away, or take a swing at her. Prepared and looking forward to it, she had a few frustrations to take out on the centurion herself. Instead, she found herself against the tree with a knife to her throat, staring down into blazing golden eyes, unable to move with the other woman's TK holding her down.

"Don't...touch...me," Charlotte gritted out the words between her teeth. "Don't you ever fucking touch me again!"

~*~*~*~*~

Logan and Scott watched from the upstairs window with varying degrees of concern. When Charlotte turned on Domino, Logan started from the room to intervene, but Scott stopped him.

"Nothing else has worked," he told him. "This is the first time she's shown any reaction besides fear of you." He nodded across the yard to where Remy crouched in the shadows watching. "If there's a problem, Gambit will stop it."

"She ain't wearin' her shields. Neena's gonna kill her."

"No, she won't. Domino's not a fool. She knew what could happen."

"That ain't the point!"

"Logan, Domino managed to do what no one else here has in four weeks. Even I can tell Charlotte's angry."

"What gave it away, the goddamn knife?!"

"Don't you think if there was a real problem Gambit would have already been in there? He's her partner, for God sakes! He would know if she's about to lose complete control."

"That's only when she's actin' normal. This ain't normal."

~*~*~*~*~

Charlotte bit off the warning, then turned away from her, resheathing her weapon in her jacket.

The TK field fell away from Dom, but her mouth was still on overdrive. "What right do you have to think your brand of pain is any worse than anyone's else's around here?!" she demanded.

"You've mistaken me for a Summers, or someone fucking a Summers," Charlotte's voice was derogatory, infuriating Dom with the faint English tones that sang out loud and clear she was dirt beneath *Lady Charlotte's* boots. "I don't have an angst quota to fill."

"Why'd you come back? You're not helping anyone here. You might as well have played dead and let everyone get on with their lives, I hear you're good at that. Let Logan get on with his, he's better off without the trouble."

She didn't see Charlotte move, but Dom barely missed the knife hurled at her, followed by three others. The last one nearly grazed her shoulder, the breeze in its wake brushing her face. Her power saved her; each one of those blades would have struck her in vital places otherwise.

Her gun was out and cocked before she could stop herself, sighting Charlotte's heart in the cross hairs. The eyes that met hers over the barrel were angry, but clear. Expectant. Almost jubilant.

"You want me to pull the trigger," Dom whispered in stunned comprehension as it all fell into place.

Charlotte looked back at her wordlessly, but Dom felt, rather than saw, something in her break open just a tiny bit. Slowly she released the firing pin and lowered the gun. There were far too many people here trying to batter their way into Charlotte's head, and they had it all wrong. This woman wasn't giving up, she was a powder keg waiting to explode. She'd almost set off that bomb.

"Let's go get drunk."

At Charlotte's look, she shook her head. "I'm not going to be the one, so get that out of your head. If you want to do penance you'll do it on someone else's time. I think it's time to get away from your baby-sitters," she jerked her head toward Remy's location, "and start sorting this out."

~*~*~*~*~

Harry's was nearly deserted.

The few loners in here this afternoon glanced up at the two women entering the bar. Eyes judged their availability, then rejected any possibility that either woman would be open to an approach.

Dom pushed Charlotte forward. "Go sit down." Waiting for the other woman to move, she stopped at the bar for a few words with Harry, then carried a full bottle of Jack Daniels and two glasses to the booth Charlotte selected.

Charlotte watched Dom pour the first shots, wondering why the hell she was following instructions. It was a relief not to have to think or feel. Just put her head on automatic and do as she was told.

"Talk."

"What do you want to hear?"

"I don't want to hear a damned thing," Domino set her glass down and poured another shot for herself. Charlotte hadn't touched hers yet. "Drink that," she ordered her and waited.

Charlotte picked the whisky up and knocked it back in a fluid motion. Dom refilled it and gestured for her to finish it again.

"Getting plastered is not productive," Char said drily.

"Wandering around the mansion grounds and doing a pitiful Summers imitation is? Drink it." Watching the other woman's movements, Dom could see she was no stranger to the bottle, which puzzled her. She'd heard no rumors Charlotte was a heavy drinker, or that she drank in secret.

After a third refill, Dom settled back in her seat. "I don't want to hear it," she repeated, "but I'll listen, if you want."

"I don't need a mother confessor."

"No one said you did. You've been driving everyone crazy."

"I can't get anyone to understand I don't need a brain picker, I need to be left alone."

"If you wanted to be left alone, you wouldn't have come back to the mansion. People run away from here for peace and quiet."

Charlotte retreated back into silence.

"Why did you try to get me to shoot at you?"

Charlotte avoided her eyes, and the question, swallowing another shot. *Maybe,* she thought to herself, *just maybe if I keep drinking, she'll stop asking questions.* One sidelong look at the other woman's face put that idea to a quick death. She knew very well Domino didn't like her personally, and didn't like the position she felt she was in. Ditto for her, too, but strangely enough, Domino's company was more comforting than anyone else's right now. There was a mutual respect, if nothing else.

Dom nearly growled at Charlotte's continued silence. Not this again. "You were gone eight weeks, six longer than you had to be. If you really didn't want anyone bothering you, you would've stayed away." Dom poured more into her glass.

Silence.

"What about Logan?"

"I thought you didn't want to hear about it." Two could play this game. It was entertaining to hold an almost conversation with a person who didn't try to dance around the issue.

*Goddam bitch....* "You don't want to talk, fine. Get off your ass and get over it. You're not the first one who's tangled with Creed, and you won't be the last, not by a long shot."

Charlotte reached for the bottle this time. "What the fuck would you know about it?"

"How come you don't ever say words like that in front of them?" Dom pulled back the bottle. "I got my own story, but that's not what we're talking about. You're the one tying everyone into knots. Hell, we all know you and Logan aren't even sharing a room these days." She hated to admit it, even to herself, that she understood the other woman. Your lover's most personal enemy controlling you, forcing you to act and react, even when it was over.

"Can't anyone pay attention to themselves?"

Dom snorted. "I hear both Jubilee and Kitty tried calling you."

"They wanted to know what I did to Logan."

"This isn't like one of your usual fights. If it was that, the two of you would be locked up in the Danger Room for hours."

"Dammit, nobody minds their own business around here." It wasn't that she believed no one knew about their activities, but she'd hoped they'd be too involved with their own lives to pay any attention. She should've known better.

"Big ol' incestuous angst pit, I've heard it called. Get used to it, or get out of it."

"You ever get used to it?"

Dom gazed at her with an appraising look. Charlotte's eyes were overly bright, but still clear. She had what must be her sixth drink in her hand. "No, you don't get used to it, but you learn to live with it. Just like you learn to exist with the memories."

"Is it worth it?"

After another drink, Domino answered. "Yes, it's worth it." It was. All the crap she put up with, all the irritation, the 'mushroom' feeling of being kept in the dark and fed shit on a regular basis, the kids that interrupted and complicated her once simple life.....it was worth it. "Is what you're doing now worth your marriage collapsing around you?"

"Are you suggesting Logan can't live with a little abstinence?"

"That's a cop-out, and you know it. I'm saying that he won't put up with this stalemate much longer. What you did was wrong, but you're only making it worse. Maybe your marriage won't survive, have you thought about that?"

"I've thought of nothing else!" The words were harsh and condemning. "You honestly think I want this to continue?" Charlotte looked away, blinking back the sudden tears that filled her eyes.

"I think you don't know what you want, but you better find out fast. I've known Logan a long time, and he's not one to wait around while you get your head together."

Charlotte tossed back two more in quick succession. "I can't tell him."

"I thought you two had this perfect communication?" Dom remarked snidely.

"Right, just like you and Nathan."

Dom glared at her.

For the first time, it seemed possible to tell another person. A part of her might regret this later, but right now she could do it, with a glass in her hand and a half-empty bottle of whiskey in front of her. "I lost control," a bitterness flooded her voice. "I went up against something I had no business going anywhere near, and I was completely unprepared for what happened."

Dom kept her tongue. If Charlotte was going to talk, she wasn't going to stop her.

"I haven't felt the urge to kill that strong in more than 50 years, not since..." her voice trailed off, then picked back up. "The urge to cut into a living body and watch the life drain away. I was so sure I could take him on, I wanted to paint myself in his blood and dance on his grave. He dared to mock me! Dared to take away *my* life!"

"He hunted me, like I was no more than an animal, reduced me down to my basest instincts. When I tried to take the offensive, he laughed at me. Said he owned me, like he owned all of Logan's women."

"Just words," Domino told her, refilling Char's glass.

"Words I didn't want to hear, and I couldn't deal with. The power rolled through me, stronger then I've ever felt it. I slipped out of control and right into his mind. You ever been mind-linked to a sadistic madman? Not counting Cable, of course." The memory of it sent a vicious tremor through her, the alcohol spilling slightly as she tried to regain control.

Dom let that pitiful joke pass by as she considered the other woman's words.

"Mind-linked to Victor Creed. He liked it. So much, in fact, that rape became his focus. Why kill me when that would stop the fun? Rape -- the revenge that keeps on giving." Her sarcasm had a lethal edge to it.

They'd all speculated about it, privately and amongst themselves when Logan wasn't looking. "He raped you." It was no longer speculation.

Charlotte downed the contents of her glass, then poured more. "We were linked. I felt everything he did -- taste, smell, touch -- through him, my body responding to him. He reacted to it, making it all that much worse. You know what sex is like with a psi. It's pretty much the same for the psi. Intensely personal. Nothing like it in the entire world. God, I don't know how a normal human being can stand sex without it."

Her face crumbled in her agony, holding herself together by the thinnest measure. "That's how bad rape can be for a psi. An unfocused telepathic idiot who doesn't know how to shut it down. There was a rage inside me that had me wanting to violate my own soul. Next thing I know, he's ripping off my clothes, clawing at me, forcing himself into me." Her voice slurred some, the words rushing out of her in an alcoholic haze.

"It's like I was standing outside myself watching this stranger take over my body and make it react to what was happening. My mind was so entwined with his, I lost any hope of gaining control when my body climaxed. I don't think I've ever hated myself more then I did at that moment. Every ounce of power I had, and power I didn't know I had, poured into him and knocked us both out. I woke up on the helicarrier."

That was it, the The ultimate betrayal of a woman's own body. "Where did you go after the helicarrier?" Charlotte was drinking way too fast, Dom thought, well on her way to a first class drunk. It shouldn't take long before she passed out in her weakened state. The whiskey bottle seemed bottomless. The more they drank, the more that remained.

"I needed a place to hide and heal, and I couldn't bear for Logan to see me like that. I went to Jadwin. He took me in, no questions asked."

"You've driven Logan and the others crazy imagining the worst." Dom considered pointing out that Charlotte's lack of control very likely saved her life, but the other woman didn't seem to want reassurances. She knew she herself wouldn't like it pointed out to her.

"The worst did happen. Once Logan touches me he'll know what I did. How can I ask him to believe I was a victim? He reads me better then I read me. How do I convince him I wasn't willing when I all but surrendered to that sadistic animal."

"You didn't give up to him, you just said that yourself. What, are you going to wander around until you get someone mad enough to take a shot at you? Would it make you feel better if it was Logan?" Dom poured them each another drink. It was starting to get to her, too. She could swear she saw two bottles. She had to be getting old if a half bottle could get her to seeing double.

"I can't justify it to me! I deliberately put myself in a position to get beaten and raped, why should I be amazed when it happens?" Hot tears formed in her eyes, spilling over to trail down her cheeks. "Or surprised when Logan doesn't want me anymore because of it."

"Whoa, wait a minute!" Dom sat up straight, then blinked as her head spun just a bit. "Logan's jumping through hoops trying to get you to talk to him or even look at him without cringing. You don't know what he'll do."

"I don't know what else he can do," Charlotte rested her head on her folded arms. "I'm worse than used goods, Dom. I'm filthy on a level I don't think I can ever escape."

That was common enough among rape victims. "You're not giving Logan enough credit. You need to talk to him and let him make that choice. Decide what you're going to do about all this without making everyone else crazy."

Charlotte's voice was muffled. "Maybe I'm making it easier for him to get rid of me."

Domino looked at the bottle. It was finally close to empty. She poured the rest in her glass and gave the other woman a look of frustrated hate. What in the fucking world ever made her hunt Charlotte down to yell at her today? Or offer to listen? Now that she knew the story she felt sympathy for her and the mess she was in. Sympathy was weakness. Weakness got you hurt.

"When did you ever make things easy on him? That's never been your way." When she didn't get an answer, she leaned over to shake her. "Hey." Still no response. Charlotte was passed out cold.

Now she had a choice. She could force Charlotte awake and they could leave, or she could leave her here. Logan and Nathan both would get mad at her all over again if she did that. She should probably call the mansion and have someone come get her. Get them both, she was in no condition to drive herself.

With a sigh, she got to her feet and ambled over to the pay phone, scowling absently as she searched her pockets for change. The few patrons she crossed paths with moved out of her way quickly after seeing the thunderous expression.

It took more than one try, but she got the coins into the slot, then punched in the numbers almost savagely, irritated that she had to do this at all. Jesus, was that two empty bottles on their table? No wonder she felt like shit.

"Hello?" Jean's voice answered.

"Yeah, Jean, we're here at Harry's and Charlotte's passed out drunk. Send someone to get her."

~*~*~*~*~

Jean stared for a moment at the receiver as Dom hung up abruptly. Drunk? She couldn't have heard that right. Charlotte didn't get drunk, she drove others to drink.

~*~*~*~*~

Dom wandered back over to the table to sit down and finish her drink, and to count the bottles again. Two. She didn't remember ordering the second one, but they managed to drink it. Harry probably brought it over when it looked like they were finishing the first. She'd been so wrapped up in the other woman's story, she hadn't noticed.

Goddammit, anyway. Why did she always have to be the terrorist with the heart of gold?

~*~*~*~*~

Logan paused just inside the doorway to see the two women sitting in a back booth. Well, Domino was sitting. Charlotte was sprawled on the side of the table, Dom frowning heavily at her.

Her expression didn't get any better at the sight of him. "'Bout time," she grumbled. "Take her ancient, drunken ass outta here."

He pulled Charlotte out of the booth as gently as he could to pick her up in his arms. "Thank you," he whispered. "Coming?"

"Yeah." Domino got to her feet and ambled after them. Suddenly, bed seemed like a good idea.

~*~*~*~*~

Logan carried his wife upstairs, the scent of whiskey and vanilla wafting up from the body in his arms. It had been so long since he'd gotten close enough to smell her this well. All it took was Neena and Jack Daniels to let him touch her, hold her. He could feel how much weight she'd lost, pounds she could ill afford to do without. She wouldn't have stood a chance if Domino had decided to fight instead of drink.

In their room, he laid her on the bed and removed her shoes. He considered undressing her, but decided against it. He wasn't going to risk her waking up screaming like she had done the first week she'd been back and he'd toted her back from one of her impromptu beds. Pulling a blanket off the quilt rack by the closet door, he covered her with it, tucking it around her. A shudder ran through her body.

He couldn't resist. He caressed a pale cheek gently, only to have her burrow her face into his palm with a whimper.

It had been too long. He slipped out of his shoes and shirt, then crawled under the blanket with her to gather her in his arms. The alcohol had succeeded where all else had failed. The faint tremors running through her faded away after awhile, leaving her limp and pliant against him. He laid in the dark and held her loosely, stroking the hair that flowed over his arm, her breath feathering against his bare skin.

~*~*~*~*~

The dreams did not come to her. For the first time in weeks she slept without running for her life from the nightmare version of Sabretooth her imagination conjured up every time she closed her eyes.

Charlotte awoke, the absence of the terrors coupled with the whiskey she'd drunk shocking her from her sleep. The overwhelming comfort warred against the sheer panic that she shared a bed with a man. Not only sharing a bed, but held to a bare chest, a hand tangled in her hair to hold her securely. This should not have frightened her so much, it was a sleeping position she was well accustomed to with her husband, but it did. She tensed up involuntarily.

The flesh under her hand and face shifted. She forced herself to relax and breath slowly, wait for the panic to subside.

She opened her eyes, then closed them again tightly. No, don't run, just lie still. Logan won't hurt you, he has never hurt you.

I don't want to put that to the test.

You don't have a choice. Didn't anything Domino say to you sink in? You're going to lose him and this life. You haven't given him the chance.

The chance to throw me out on my ass.

That would at least be a solution. What are you going to do about this?

I don't know.

You know what you need. It's only obvious. Are you going to let this come between you. Let Sabretooth beat you both?

I'm scared. I am so scared.

I know. You should be scared. You'll feel better if you're doing something about this, you always do.

Charlotte slowly worked her way out of the bed. Logan still slept. Quietly, she gathered up fresh clothing and backed out of their bedroom. In the guest room down the hall, she crouched on the floor of the shower, hot, steaming water pouring down on her while she thought over what she could remember of the conversation with Domino. She was right. She had to do something, but what?

~*~*~*~*~

Logan woke up to find her sitting in the chair by the window. For a moment is seemed the last few months hadn't happened. If she had been wearing one of his shirts he could almost believe it was a normal morning for them.

"How long ya been awake?" he asked quietly, careful not to make any sudden moves as he swung his legs over the side to sit up.

"Couple hours." She shrugged in deceptively calm manner that didn't fool him. "I'm leaving."

He froze. "Leavin'?" She couldn't leave. She was not leaving, not if he had something to say about it.

"A bad choice of words. I'm taking a leave of absence from the team for awhile." Her voice was soft, but it held a note of resolve he hadn't heard in quite awhile.

"From me, too?" Two suitcases sat by the door, along with her shoulder bag and swords. She was really leaving.

"No. At least, I don't know yet." Charlotte rose from her seat and crossed the room to sit on the bed next to him. She was proud of herself for getting this close without giving in to the urge to flee. "I've been on the phone with Emma. I'm going to the school to help out for a while. I know what I'm lacking now, Logan. I need to learn control, and Emma's agreed to help me."

"You can get that here."

"Even if Charles was in-house, I don't trust him enough to let him in my head, and Jean is his student. The only other options were Emma, Cable or just leaving for good. I don't want to do that."

Logan let out a slow breath. "When ya goin'?"

"Today, after I tell you what happened. I need to tell you."

This was what he'd been waiting for, right? Why did he suddenly feel as though he'd been plunged into a freezing pool of water? He could smell the sudden wave of fear and steeled himself for the revelations.

"First, I want to say one thing, Logan, and I want you to believe me. I love you."

The simple words from her heart touched a chord in him. He reached out, holding his palm up to her. Charlotte rested her hand in his for a brief moment before grasping it firmly.

"I was wrong in what I did," she started out in a tightly controlled voice that didn't hide the underlying agony from him. His hand tightened around hers.

"I was so wrong."

~*~*~*~*~

Charlotte closed the rear door of the vehicle, then leaned back against it. "I'll call you when I get there." She touched the medallion nestled in his chest hair, her finger tracing the raven etching.

"How come y'don't wear yers?"

A stab of pain shot through her. "It hasn't been offered to me." At his growing irritation, she continued. "Tradition. I deliberately removed it, and in doing so broke faith with you. It's up to you to forgive me."

The woman picked the damnedest times to revert back to a subservient role. "I coulda solved all this by puttin' that thing back on ya?" He grabbed her arm. "C'mon, I got it upstairs."

She stiffened, then shook free of him. "I'm still leaving Logan. I have to."

"No y'don't."

"Haven't you listened to a word I've said?" Her heart sank at his display of stubborn denial. She couldn't keep fighting the urge to hide for a few decades and him at the same time.

"I heard ya," he grumbled. "I don't want ya to go."

Damn him, he could make her want to melt when he looked at her like that. "I don't want to, I have to," she repeated.

"Yer gonna call me every day."

"No. The first time I miss a day you'll be at their doorstep. I'll call once a week for sure." She tried to smile and failed. "Please, don't come to the school."

"Yer tellin' me I can't visit?"

"Not yet. Let me get settled in and I'll let you know."

"I don't like it."

"Please."

He hated it when she said please, hated that look in her eyes even more. He grudgingly nodded. "I won't come till ya tell me."

That was as good as she was going to get from him. Charlotte leaned forward and pressed her lips lightly to his, then opened the front door and got in quickly. Blinking away tears, she offered him a rueful smile as she pulled away.

~*~*~*~*~

Logan stood at the open garage door, every nerve inside him screaming to stop her before she could clear the door, then before she could get out of the gates. Something held him back.

She'd asked for time, and then for his understanding. The second was easier to give her than the first. How she could think he would believe she was a willing participant was a crippling blow to their relationship. They'd managed to misread each other in this so thoroughly it was going to take time to rebuild their marriage.

Fortunately, time was something they had, evil mutant hordes not withstanding.

Turning to go back inside, he spotted Scott standing in the doorway between the garage and mansion. Scott's expression was one of relief and pity. The anger he didn't dare show in front of his wife came out now.

"This yer idea to get her out?!" he demanded.

"She woke me up a couple of hours ago," Scott said, "and told me what she decided. She made the choice, and frankly, I think it's a good one, Wolverine." Charlotte's knock on his bedroom door surprised him, especially since he'd locked his front door, but his irritation at being awakened vanished quickly when she outlined her plans to him and Jean.

"I don't like it."

"You're not going to like anything she decides right now."

Logan growled and made to push past him.

Scott held his ground. "You've had it easy up to now. Pretty, young wife who not only adores you, but can share your life. The rest of your life, for as long as that might be. You haven't had a true test of commitment yet. Not until now."

"You don't know what yer talkin' about."

"That's bullshit," Scott told him bluntly. "I'm the *only* one here who knows what it's like and I'm giving you some advice whether you like it or not."

Logan glared at him.

"Let it go."

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"That means you don't run off acting like a hairy jerk after her, or Sabretooth. It's not going to help. Hank talked to Col. Fury himself. Creed doesn't remember her at all. She's finally taking action, and she has every chance of succeeding. You feel like jumping in with both sets of claws? You'll just make it worse."

"Takin' him out is a favor to everyone."

"It's not going to help this situation. She came back, remember?"

"Wasn't her idea." It bothered that she'd had to be persuaded to return.

Scott snorted. "You really think anyone could get her to go somewhere she doesn't want to be? She left in the first place because she loves you, and she came back for the same reasons. The same reasons she's going to the Academy now."

Logan clenched and unclenched his fists. "Tell me how ya handle it."

Scott glanced at Logan's face to find he was serious. "You tell her you love her every chance you get, and that you understand what she's doing, even if you don't. You give her room. You spend a lot of time in the Danger Room until you can do it calmly. You get on with life."

"That's works for ya?" He didn't want to admit it, but Cyclops was making sense to him. He hated it, but she had all the cards on this one. He had to let her play it out.

"Most of the time, yes. For those times it doesn't, I have the florist and the candy shop on speed dial." Scott permitted himself a half smile. "She didn't disappear this time. You know exactly where she is and who she's with now. She's a phone call away."

Everything Scott said made sense to him, and he hated that. He wanted this to be done now, not leave it in the uncertain future.

"I don't know how ya do it, Cyke."

"I won't lie to you, it's not easy. Is she worth the effort to you?"

Logan looked back in the direction Charlotte left in. "Yeah, she's worth it." He looked up at the other man. "I'm goin' to the Danger Room for a li'l therapy. Comin'?"

~*~*~*~*~

While Logan worked through his current state of mind with Scott one level down, Hank sat in his office with the promised medical report that arrived the day before. This morning was the first opportunity he had to peruse it.

Hank read through to the back page of the short report and blinked.

Then blinked again.

This couldn't be correct.

Unable to comprehend what his eyes were telling him, he started over with page one. The report had obviously been translated from another language, the phrasing stiff and unwieldy in place, but still understandable. Even overly simplified, but he took that to indicate a misconception on the part of the alien doctor. If Jadwin's behavior was anything to judge by, the Torelans viewed humans as little more than interesting pets.

Multiple fractures of the ribs, right arm and hand. Upper arms, shoulders, neck and face gouged and torn. Broken nose. Fractured jaw. Mild concussion. Blood loss. Excessive bruising of the face, torso and thighs. Pregnancy test -- positive.

He stared at that again, a sick feeling in his stomach giving way to a faint nausea.

It still could not be correct. Charlotte was not pregnant. His few conversations with her revealed she had absolutely no idea of what was done to her. She held very few recollections of the time spent with the doctor, quite possibly due to the administration of drugs. If her condition had indeed been worse, which this file suggested, then medicinal assistance had been desperately needed.

As there was no other entry relating to a pregnancy, he didn't know what to think.

In his heart he knew Charlotte's love for children would not allow her to submit to an abortion, and there was no indication of a miscarriage.

There was really no feasible way to obtain additional information without causing more trouble. There was only one solution to this dilemma and still maintain the uneasy peace between Logan and Charlotte.

Hank removed the last page and carried it into the chemistry lab. Once there, he lit a Bunsen burner, holding a corner of the paper to the flame until it caught fire. He watched it burn until it was nearly gone, then dropped the rest of it into a nearby sink to wash it away completely. He let go of his thoughts as the ashes rinsed away.

Walking back to his small office, he resolved to put the issue out of his mind and concentrate on more important matters at hand.



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