DISCLAIMER: If you know them and love them (or hate them), they aren't mine. If you don't know 'em, they are.
DISTRIBUTION: If you would like permission to archive this story, please email: mydestinyfic@yahoo.com.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is my first attempt at an XFic. If you don't like it, don't read it. I'd like to thank the ladies of the WXF for their support and encouragement. Special thanks to Albertina, Chase and Joanne for beta'ing this for me. Big sloppy baby kisses to Cyn and baby Nicky for their special brand of ego-boostin'. And, finally, if you like it, please let me know. I've already got a few sequels spinning in my brain. Eve and Logan will not be stopped.
SPECIAL NOTE: Look Ma, all that thesis research came in handy for something!
Eve wandered the grounds for hours, desperately trying to gain control over the swell of emotions that were wreaking havoc with her mind. She knew she had hurt Logan, but better it be physical pain than psychological. His body would heal; and, he would eventually forget her.
The events of the last few hours had shown her one thing. She wasn't ready to stay here and live Charles's dream. It was time for her to leave. The Professor could feel safe in the knowledge that there were now no full bloods left to hurt his mutants. The horrified expressions on Jean and Scott's faces when she left the room leaving the wounded Wolverine behind her might as well have been a train ticket out of town. They didn't want her here anymore. They had seen what she was capable of and they were frightened. Good for them. If they were smart, they'd stay away.
Logan. She wasn't sure what he'd do when he found out she was gone. During their fight, when she'd felt him suddenly pressed intimately against her, she'd realized that it wasn't just her eyes that he was attracted to. She'd felt the evidence of his desire for her. But, why did she have to find out when it was too late. The children were gone. She could feel the vast emptiness inside her belly. It was death.
Her anger burned just below the surface. Why couldn't he have done something, said something that would have hinted at his feelings? If she had known, she wouldn't have given up the children so easily. She would have forced Charles to wait. She would have had her children.
Logan would make an excellent father, she thought, staring off into the distance. She'd seen him with Marie. He was gentle with her and very protective. He would never allow his children to be taken away like lambs to slaughter. He'd keep them safe. Logan would die if he had to. He was nothing like her father. He was strong, a survivor.
She collapsed to her knees, a burning pain at the back of her throat. Why had he said nothing. He hadn't even sought her out until it was too late. Up in the attic, she'd felt his passion for her, but had just assumed her eyes were the culprit. She'd been a coward, too afraid to put her glasses back on. What if she'd been right? What if the only thing he wanted was to climb into those eyes?
Now, she knew better, and it only made the pain worse. Eve found herself longing for the cool embrace of the earth. In the blissful numbness of hibernation, she could begin to heal the gaping wounds in her psyche. She would be of no use to anyone until she did. She forced herself to admit that maybe it wasn't possible. Maybe she would never be able to forgive any of them. She wasn't sure. Only time would answer that question.
Eve stood and made her way toward the mansion. It was time to tell Charles that she was leaving. She thought momentarily of little Rogue, who would be crushed when she learned that Eve had gone. But, she would recover quickly enough. Logan would see to that.
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
Logan thrashed against the bonds that Jean had used to secure him to the examination table in her lab. He had been suffering in the clutches of a nightmare for hours and none of them had been able to wake him. The Professor had finally suggested using the padded straps. Though she did not care for them, Jean knew the Professor was right. Logan had been injured enough in his fight with Eve. He didn't need to add more wounds to the tally.
Jean looked up from her equipment as he finally stilled. She silently calculated the time it would take her to go to the bathroom and get back to his side; finally, she decided to take the risk. It had been hours since she'd begun her vigil over her wounded teammate. You could only ignore your body's needs for so long. She closed the door quietly as she left the room.
As soon as Eve was certain that Jean was safely out of hearing range, she crept out of the shadowy corner of the lab. She'd been waiting there for over an hour. Jean had not detected her presence, nor did she expect her to. Logan's terror had been silently screaming inside her head for the latter half of the morning. They were connected now, through his blood. And, she knew that she was cursed to feel his pain.
The bonds weren't helping. The Professor and Jean meant well, but the pressure of the straps was only pulling Logan further into his nightmare. He was in a panic, determined to break free. Vague images flashed through her mind. A medical facility built into the side of a snowy mountain. Mutants in cages. The bloody flash of his claws.
She stood next to the table that held Logan, carefully avoiding the path of his hands. He was deathly quiet. In the confines of his dream, Logan was hiding from his captors. His body was weakened and struggling to heal itself. They'd been pressing him hard, trying to find his breaking point. Seemingly, no matter what they did, his body kept on coming.
Eve used the lull in his dream to her advantage. She could reach inside of him, past the psychological confines of his brain. If she called, his blood would respond She bent, her lips hovering over his ear and her forehead resting in his hair. Her right hand slid gently across his chest and settled lightly over his heart.
"Logan," she whispered, "they've gone. They're far into the mountain now, searching for you. Your guide is there, waiting for you. Open your eyes and look. See her, Logan. She is waiting to take you from that place. Follow her. She knows the way."
As she spoke, the images of his dream flashed through Eve's mind like a slide show. She saw him slowly open his eyes and cautiously peer around the room. He wasn't sure he could trust her voice. But, there in the shadows, stood his guide. Her black eyes glittered at him. Eve felt his muscles begin to relax as he recognized the figure. Silently, he followed the sleek form through the darkened corridors.
Logan ran from the building and found safety in the forest. They wouldn't find him there. He looked down at his companion. The dog was pacing back and forth across the path. It obviously wanted to keep moving. They had some place to be; though, he wasn't quite sure where.
The dog turned and ran through the trees, plunging further into the forest.
"Follow her, Logan," Eve whispered. "Her name is Sheherazade; and, I sent her to guide you through your dreams. She'll show you the way, Logan. She'll guide you back home."
His body went limp. He had finally succumbed, chasing after the dog as it led him deeper and deeper into the forest.
"What are you doing?" Jean asked.
Eve smiled as she heard the fear and anger in Jean's voice. It was good that she was afraid. Finally, she was beginning to see Eve as she really was. She turned slowly.
"I was doing what you cannot. I drew him away from his terror, that is all."
Eve stepped away from Logan and walked toward the other woman. Jean backed away quickly, stumbling over a stepstool. She would have fallen to the floor, but Eve used her newly augmented speed and agility to catch her before she fell.
Jean pulled away from Eve's grasp.
"Thank you," she said curtly. "Now, what were you really doing? And, what was all that about? A guide named Sheherazade?"
"It was nothing," Eve replied. "I called on one of my familiars to guide him through his dream. He knows her well. I've sent her to him before. She keeps him safe; and, allows him to care for something on his terms. I do not need to tell you that he must stay calm in order to recover. Your medicines surely will not keep him that way."
"And why should I believe any of this?" Jean asked testily. "If memory serves me correctly, you're the one who put him here in the first place. How do I know you aren't trying to drive him deeper into a coma?"
"You don't," Eve said simply, "and, I'm not going to tell you that I am not."
"You should go. He's fine now; we don't need you here."
Eve nodded, tacitly accepting Jean's new attitude toward her. She had seen this coming. They had closed camp around their injured compatriot and were busy shooing the serpent from the garden. She looked at Logan one final time before turning on her heel and walking toward the door.
"Goodbye, Jean," she said as she walked out of the room.
Jean heard the finality in the words. Eve wasn't just leaving the room. She was really leaving. Jean dropped onto a tall lab stool. She didn't know how to feel. Part of her was glad to see the other woman go. She had such a capacity for destruction that it was frightening. But, as the cooler, more rational side of her mind began to take over, Jean realized that Eve could have taken any one of them whenever she wanted. If she'd really craved a kill, she could have easily taken Rogue or the Professor. She didn't have to pander to their whims.
Maybe she'd judged Eve too harshly. After all, she knew first hand how provoking Logan could be when he wanted to. How many times had she had to separate him from Scott just to keep the peace? Eve hadn't exactly been in top condition when she walked out of the room either. Her clothes had been in tatters and blood had streaked her legs and chest.
Jean looked at her silent patient. Logan would kill her if she let Eve walk away while he was out cold. He'd take off again, desperate to find her. And, if she'd already managed to go into hibernation, Jean wondered if he'd ever be able to locate her. She silently called out to the Professor. If she couldn't wake Logan, maybe he could.
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
Logan woke slowly. He heard someone calling his name from a great distance, but he found himself unwilling to respond. He wanted to stay in the cave in the forest. His face was buried in 'Zade's coat. He was glad to finally have a name for her. Yo mutt, was starting to get a little old. She groaned appreciatively as he scratched at her belly. No, he really didn't want to leave. It was so much better here.
"Logan." The voice was louder this time, more insistent. He forced himself to listen long enough to finally recognize the Professor's voice. "Logan, you need to come back now. It's time to come back."
'Zade pulled herself free from the pleasant scratching of his fingers and walked to the mouth of the cave. She looked over her haunch at him.
"Christ, not you too," he said. "Alright, alright. I'm comin'."
Logan pulled himself upright and walked to the mouth of the cave and out into the dawn. His eyes blinked rapidly at the bright light, which he soon realized was coming from the lamp hanging directly over his head. He was in Jean's lab. When the hell had he gotten there? He didn't even remember walking out of the forest.
"Where's 'Zade?" he asked gruffly.
The Professor and Jean shared a look, both wondering if Logan might be more seriously injured than they had anticipated. When he didn't get an answer to his question, Logan rolled onto his right shoulder. He smiled as he saw the dog sitting quietly across the room.
"There she is," he said. "Knew she'd be around here somewhere. She wouldn't leave me."
The other two mutants turned and were shocked to see the large black dog sitting in the doorway.
"She said- Oh, but I didn't believe her," Jean muttered to herself.
Logan's eyes narrowed.
"She's said what? Where is she anyway? I figured she'd be hanging around admiring her handiwork. God, that woman's cocky. Just wait 'til she tells you about this thing she can do to people's blood, Jean. She'll have you twitchin', you'll be so excited."
"Logan," Jean said softly, "she's actually the reason why I asked the Professor to come down and try to wake you." She paused; there was no easy way to tell him. She could sense by his uncharacteristically chatty manner that he was enamoured with Eve's abilities. He always had seemed to like women who kept him on the edge, always wondering what they'd do next. "Eve's leaving, Logan. She's taking off tonight before the children get back from camping."
Logan attempted to get up. As he realized that his body was being held in place by several fabric-covered metal bands, he looked at Jean and cocked an eyebrow.
"What, are we trying a little S&M now?" he asked.
"It was for your own good," she said as she flipped a switch and the holding straps slid back into pockets built into the sides of the exam table. "Hurting yourself was the last thing you needed."
As soon as he was free, Logan moved to stand. Without thinking, Jean used her telekinetic powers to prevent him from leaving the room. Logan growled as he felt the pressure on his muscles. Not again.
"There are things you need to know before you leave, Logan," the Professor said, finally joining the conversation. He saw the anger and impatience written on Logan's face and responded to it before the other man had the chance to complain. "She won't leave yet. Right now she's out there," he said, gesturing toward the outside, "saying goodbye in her own way, I believe."
Logan would have snarled if Jean's control of his muscles had allowed it.
"I can't believe you're just going to let her walk out the door. You weren't exactly willing to let me do that a few years ago. What, now that she's served her purpose, it's just out with the trash?"
Xavier ignored the blatant insult in Logan's words. The man was angry and tired, and not thinking clearly.
"This is entirely different, Logan. We thought you were in danger. From first hand knowledge, you already know that nothing can physically harm Eve. I believe she already has the capability to deal with whatever comes along. But, her psychological issues are another story. She isn't coping with her loss well. And, we are all making this harder for her to deal with.
"She believes that Jean and Scott despise her for her behavior yesterday. Hurting you was the last thing she wanted to do, hence her request for you to stay away. Then, there is me. She's angry with me for pushing her through this procedure so quickly. She is right, of course. I was so desperate to try to save my own dreams that I sacrificed hers in the process."
"Sounds to me," Logan replied, "like you all could use Marie's advice. Go talk to the woman. Tell her all this stuff so she understands where you're coming from. You can't let her leave. She can't leave. If she goes, she'll go underground again. That's what she does; she hides from everything. You think this is going to be any different? If she's buried in the damn ground somewhere, what good is she going to be to anybody?"
"Jean," the Professor spoke quietly, "I think it's time that we show Logan the results of your procedure."
Logan heard the tumblers in the vault door spin in response to the Professor's brain waves before Jean slowly swung it open. A cart holding a long metallic cylinder rolled out into the room. The lid slowly began to turn, making strange scraping sounds as it opened. As soon as the lid was out of the way, a cloud of smoky vapors began seeping out of the container and oozed into a thick carpet across the floor. They were keeping something on ice. Two thin vials of a pale pink fluid floated out of the canister and hovered a foot from his face.
"What," he said, "you plannin' on resurrecting the dead with that stuff? It's hers, right? Blood or somethin'?"
The Professor grinned.
"Well, you aren't far from the truth. We are hoping that these will ensure Eve's desire to return."
"I extracted this before the conversion," Jean said. She could tell by the look on his face that he still didn't fully understand what she and the Professor were trying to say. "They're filled with the contents of one of her ovaries, Logan. They're still alive," Jean said as she moved the vials back into the container and closed the lid.
Logan was stunned. Eve could still have children? What the hell was her problem then? She hadn't really lost anything. She'd gained the ability to really kick his ass. Frankly, being able to do that would make a lot of people happy.
"What's the catch?" he asked. "There's gotta be a catch or she wouldn't still be leavin'."
Jean sighed. He was right.
"She has no faith in technology," Jean said, a frown creasing her forehead. "Right now, I wouldn't even begin to claim that I could successfully help her get pregnant. But, given some time and a little cooperation from her, I feel that I could really make it work. Unfortunately, she's being stubborn and refuses to listen. She really believes that God is punishing her for taking human blood. Deep down inside though, I think there's a part of her that is holding out hope. I mean, why bother letting me take them if she was really convinced it wouldn't work. Anyway, the Professor feels sure that she'll be back for these eventually, and I agree."
Logan nodded. It was like Eve to fall back blindly on what she thought she knew about her body's abilities. Not once did she consider the possibility that the rhetoric she'd been spoon-fed all her life might be wrong. As far as he could tell, her people were the strangest breed he'd ever met. They were pinnacle predators and yet they spent amazing amounts of time hiding and waiting. When Eve's mother was taken, no one had bothered to try to save her. He couldn't comprehend that. If someone tries to take something you love, you fight back. You do whatever is necessary. Not them, they operated differently. Maybe it was because they couldn't die. Maybe it was easier for them to just sit back and wait. After all, what did time mean when you were planning on living forever?
"She won't take the risk now," Logan said, finally beginning to see Eve's rationale for leaving. "Those people would just come after her child if they knew there was one. No, she's gonna go underground, alright; but, she's going to make a stop first. Isn't that right, Professor? She's going to go pay them a visit, isn't she?"
Xavier nodded.
"I do believe she is going to go deliver a message, yes."
Logan grunted.
"There really isn't anything else left to say then." Logan's words left a bitter taste in his mouth. "It's what she does; and, nothing any of us say is going to change her mind."
He pushed away his sadness. He'd deal with that later, when he could be alone. After Jean and the Professor left, maybe he'd take 'Zade and head for the cave. No one would follow him and he could grieve in private.
"Logan," Jean said, "I think there might be something that you could say. She was here earlier. And, her behavior leads me to believe that anything you say would hold more sway than the rest of us combined." Jean held back, refusing to tell Logan of the mysterious bond that she'd witnessed between the two of them. He'd figure it out for himself in time. She relaxed her hold on his body.
As soon as Logan realized that he was free to go, he pushed himself off the table and padded toward the door. He wasn't really sure that he believed that he held that much power over Eve. But, remaining inactive was not in his nature. He had to see her again, even if he was completely ineffective.
He motioned for 'Zade to follow him as he started walking down the hall toward the elevator. He lifted his hand and pressed his fingers against the side of his neck where her teeth had entered his flesh. There was no evidence of the bite, no scar tissue, no blood. But, he could still feel her there. And, he thought bitterly, he was beginning to think he always would.
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
Logan finally found Eve in Storm's rose garden. Her hands were caressing the stalk of a half dead plant. It was the one that Marie had accidentally touched while she had been on watering duty. Marie. What the hell was he supposed to tell her when she came back home and Eve was gone? Sometimes he wondered if he was the only one who ever thought about her wellbeing.
"So you're just going to run away, huh? I never really took you for being that much of a coward. You weren't even going to wait until I was awake to say goodbye. That's one hell of a way to thank the guy who just let you gnaw on his neck."
Eve stiffened at the sound of his voice. She couldn't believe that he was awake. He should still have been sleeping. She'd instructed Sheherazade to keep him down until she was gone.
"I didn't think there was anything else left to say," she said quietly, staring raptly at the rose bush in front of her.
"You try to kill me and there's nothing left to say?"
"I didn't try to kill you," she cried as she turned to look at him. "If I'd been trying to kill you, you'd be dead right now. You know that. Besides, you provoked me."
Logan grunted.
"I know. That wasn't exactly the most delicate thing I could have said right then. I guess I wasn't really thinking . . . with my head anyway."
He saw the blush stain Eve's cheeks. Was that what the problem was?
"Eve, look, I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you like that. You made it clear that you wanted nothing to do with me, and then I went ahead and manhandled you. My hormones got the best of me. It's a weak excuse, I know."
"Is that all it was? Just hormones?"
"You aren't a stupid woman," he said. "I think you know better than that."
She turned away, blinking rapidly to suppress her tears.
"So you're pissed off because you're not just some random lay? I don't get you, lady."
"I'm not angry."
He laughed.
"Oh really?" he said sarcastically.
"No."
"Then what the hell are you?"
She looked at him, tears rolling down her cheeks.
"I'm disappointed Logan. Where were you? All those years I waited; where were you? Why couldn't you have come sooner? One month. One day. Why couldn't you have been there? I wouldn't have done it. I wouldn't have given them away. I would have waited."
As she turned to look away and carefully shut him out again, he moved forward, closing the distance between them. He grabbed her arm, forcing her to look at him.
"It isn't over just because you bit me. Jean told me about the vials. You can still have your kids. You just have to give her enough time to figure out how to make it work. I know her; she'll do everything in her power to see that it happens. If you put a scientific challenge down in front of Jean Gray, she'll kill herself trying to solve it."
"It doesn't matter. This body is useless now. It's dead, don't you think I can feel that."
"How do you know?" he asked. "How can you possibly know what your body is capable of. You've never tried. You just sit back and swallow all that crap they told you. Science has come a long way in the last hundred years."
"I know because I felt it leave Logan. I felt the life draining from my body. It's gone, and all that's left is this cavern of emptiness that I can't fill. There used to be so much there and now it's gone. I'm alone."
"And it's my fault?"
"Yes! Yes it's your fault. Why didn't you do something sooner? I didn't know that you cared at all. You could have said something."
"Did you ever stop to consider that maybe I didn't know either?"
They stood in silence. They were both overwhelmed by the terrible crush of emotions that swelled around them. Logan felt helpless. There were no other answers.
"Where will you go?"
"I don't know," she said, purposefully avoiding giving him any information that he might use to find her. "Maybe underground."
Logan nodded.
"The Professor told me that you were planning to make a visit to the Vatican. I assume you aren't just going for Mass."
"No," she said, "I'm going to go show them that their hunt is over. They've won. The full bloods are no more."
"You really think they'll believe you?"
"They will when I'm finished," she said grimly.
She'd thought it through. He guessed there really wasn't all that much left to say. So, he played the only trump card he had left in his hand.
"What about Marie? Don't you care that she's going to be crushed when she comes back here and finds you gone?"
"Marie will be fine. She understands more than you give her credit for. You really shouldn't treat her like a child, Logan. She deserves more respect from you than that. Besides, I know you'll do everything in your power to make her feel better. She'll be ok."
He wasn't certain if she was convinced of this point or if she was just trying to make herself believe it.
"So you have all the answers. You're just going to run away? You're going to go bury yourself in the dirt like a coward?"
"It's the only place I can go Logan."
"You know that's not true. You don't have to go anywhere. You can stay right here if you want to."
"You're wrong Logan, I do. I have to go."
"But, why underground? You're safe now. They can't use you."
"Because Logan," she said, "because it's the only place I can go where I won't think of you."
They looked at each other in silence. He damned the lenses that prevented him from seeing the truth in her eyes. He clenched his jaw as she turned and walked away. A tear rolled down his cheek as he watched her disappear over the horizon. She'd be back; and, even if he had to wait the ten years she'd mentioned before, he'd be waiting for her. He wasn't going to give up that easily. When he found something worth committing himself to, he fought for it. It's the only way he knew how to live. If she didn't come back, he'd go looking for her and change her mind.
Logan pursed his lips and blew out a short, shrill whistle. 'Zade appeared at the edge of the woods. As he approached, she took off through the trees. He needed to be alone, so he could nurse his grief in private. He thought back to their first meeting in the Professor's office. There had been very little space between the beginning and the end, the alpha and the omega. If he gave himself enough time, maybe he'd find his way through.
All references to characters belonging to the X-Men Universe are (c) and TM the Marvel Comics Group, 20th Century Fox and all related entities. All rights reserved. Any reproduction, duplication or distribution of these materials in any form is expressly prohibited. No money is being made from this archive. All images are also (c) and TM the Marvel Comics Group, 20th Century Fox and all related entities; they are not mine. This website, its operators and any content used on this site relating to the X-Men are not authorized by Marvel, Fox, etc. I am not, nor do I claim to be affiliated with any of these entities in any way.