Empathy's Echo
Chapter 3
by
NYC
Disclaimer: All X-men and X-villians are Marvel's characters. Please don't sue me.
"Mad Season," by Matchbox Twenty
I feel stupid--but I know that it won't last for long
I've been guessing--I coulda been guessing wrong
you don't know me now/ I kinda thought that you should somehow
does that whole mad season got you down?
I feel stupid, but it's something that comes and goes
I've been changing, I think it's funny how no one knows
we don't talk about--the little things that we do without
when that whole made season comes around.
so why ya gotta stand there/ looking like the answer now
it seems to me, you'd come around/ I need you now
Do you think you can cope?
you figured me out--I'm lost and I'm hopeless
bleeding and broken, though I've never spoken
I come undone--in this mad season
I feel stupid--but I think I've been catching on
I feel ugly--but I know I still turn you on
you seem colder now, torn apart, angry, turned around
will that whole mad season knock you down?
So are you gonna stand there/ or are you gonna help me out?
you need to be together now--I need you now
Do you think you can cope?
you figured me out--I'm lost and I'm hopeless
bleeding and broken, though I've never spoken
I come undone--in this mad season
now I'm crying, isn't that what you want?
I'm trying to live my life on my own
at time--I do believe I am strong
so someone tell me why, why, why
do I, I, I feel stupid?
And I came undone.
In this mad season.
As Magneto fell, Melody nearly passed out into Jean's arms. The red-head barely turned in time to catch her, steadying her precariously back onto her feet.
It was all she had time for, because hell decided to break loose all around them.
Sabertooth came flying through the ceiling, followed by a blast of red and a flurry of wind. Jean looked up to see Storm alight on the rim of the hole, and Scott appeared beside her. Sabertooth recovered himself and leapt upwards, so quickly that Scott didn't have time to react and level another blast at him. Sabertooth got him in the stomach and knocked the wind out of him, then tossed him like a ragdoll into the hole to land on the hard tile floor in a heap. Seeing that the great beast was beside her, Storm turned and ran, luring him away from the rest of the battle, using her wind power to give her extra speed to keep well ahead of him. Sabertooth came after her, fast like the predatory feline he was.
Jean looked toward where Logan and Toad struggled. As soon as she tried to let go of Melody the woman's knees gave out from under her and she landed on her bottom in an undignified sprawl. She looked around her, dazed, her skin mildly green.
She wasn't well. Magneto had mentioned a poison--from Toad? She'd have to save the specifics until later, she was a doctor first and a mutant second. Scott was hurt, but he was quick to recover--and Melody was here with her, now. Scott would have to wait just a second, no matter how much Jean wanted to drop Melody and run to him. She knelt down beside her and touched her forehead. Magneto had mentioned something about twenty minutes, but the adrenaline she'd used in taking Magneto down had obviously pushed the drug into her bloodstream more quickly than could have been anticipated.
Melody's face was an inch thick with sweat. Hazy blue eyes met hers, but didn't see her right.
"Jean...what happened to your hair?" Melody croaked.
Unconsciously, a gloved hand when to the auburn locks. "What?"'
"You look like...Medusa...all snakey." And them, with a sudden jolt of fright, Melody snatched a lock of it, hard, by the roots, and yanked. "They're trying to bite you!" Melody shrieked.
Using her telekinetic power, Jean loosed Melody's grip without hurting her. She looked toward Logan again, wanting desperately to turn Melody over to him so she could go look at Scott, at least drag him to safety. Logan had Toad pinned against a wall.
"What did you do to her?" Logan snarled into his face, all lupine fury.
Toad looked briefly toward Melody, and Jean could sense his confusion, but there was no way he was going to let Logan get in his face like this. "Jealous, Wolvie?" he mocked. "Afraid she'll come back for more of the real thing?"
Logan gritted his teeth so hard Jean could hear them grinding. His fangs flashed in the light, and he barely contained his rage long enough to threaten the half-amphibian mutant with, "I'd sooner kiss you myself than let your slimy green lips touch her again."
"It's not in the lips," Toad corrected, getting his arm behind Wolverine's and levering it away from his throat a mere inch. "It's the tongue action." And before Jean could shout a warning, Toad's tongue came out and all its force landed on Logan's nose, creating a sickening crunch. The blow gave him the added room he needed to hock one of his lethal loogies right onto Logan's face.
Logan reeled, his claws going to the hardening mass and scraping at it desperately. As he stumbled back, Toad moved in for the kill, but felt a familiar telekinetic grip.
Jean had let Melody curl into a little ball on the floor--she seemed to be willing to stay there for the moment--and had turned all her attention and fury onto the little beast who had tried to kill her several months ago. Using all of her strength and the leftover fury from her contact with Melody and Magneto, she pushed Toad back, slamming him against a nearby wall.
With a sickening slash, Logan got the death mask off his face. He gasped in a mouthful of fresh, clean air.
"Logan," Jean said, not sparing him a look, "Melody needs you."
She didn't quite know why she said it a few seconds later, but it seemed true enough at the time.
Logan, for his part, obeyed. He reached Melody as she was struggling to get onto her feet again, crawling around on the floor in a little frantic circle tempered only by the dizziness. He got her forearms firmly in his grip and she lifted her head, her eyes barely catching his.
"Logan," she moaned. "I don't know...don't know..." she wagged her head helplessly, the sweat running off her face in rivers now, pooling on the floor beneath her.
There was a crunch behind him. Logan looked to see that Toad had managed to punch through Jean's grip with that tongue of his and had picked her up by her heel to send her flying through the hole in the roof.
Fixing his hate-filled eyes on Toad, Logan howled, "Tell me how to help her, Toad."
Toad looked back at them, his strange eyes angry. "I don't know how!" he snapped, and then there was repentance on his face. "Melody...I'm sorry. I didn't know--"
"S'okay," she managed, trying to get to her feet even as Logan tried to make her lie down. Afraid to hurt her, he didn't try hard enough, and she swayed on her feet. "Did what...had to...do it again..."
Toad's eyes flashed angry again as they went back to Logan. "You're the one who heals," he said. "Can't you do something?"
Logan would have made some scathing reply, but then it occurred to him that there might be something in that. Melody wasn't like Rogue, that she could absorb his powers, but maybe the poison hadn't all sunk in yet from where it stained her cheeks.
He could see it now, a faint ring of yellow all around her mouth. It smelled awful, but all that was tempered by the fear that she might die from this...he lowered his lips to hers, forcing himself not to think of the horrible slimy bitterness of the poison but of her sweetness as she jerked beneath him, then pressed into him, eager. He pulled on the skin around her mouth, on her saliva, as if he were sucking the poison from a snake wound. He'd done that once or twice in his faded past--he wasn't sure what good it would be, but he could taste the poison, stronger than any alcohol he'd ever had in his life.
They parted. The ring had faded to a dull yellow, like dried mustard. He felt dizzy himself, his grip sliding away. She got her arms around his neck and looked up at him, cocking an eyebrow.
She seemed better, but better was a relative term.
"Does my damsel in distress routine make you excited?" she purred, then stumbled as she pulled away from him. "Really, Logie, with all these people watching, too!"
"Logie?" he echoed, incredulous. Then he realized she was getting farther away from him. "Where are you going?" he barked, coming back to himself as his healing factor pushed the poison away.
"Wanna be an X-Man," she giggled. "Wanna be a hero." She stumbled toward where Scott lay prone on the ground, still unconscious. Logan wanted to go after her, but as he stepped he realized that while the poison wasn't affecting his head anymore, it had not yet left his feet, and he nearly fell over.
"Get back here!" he ordered weakly.
She waved a hand at him. "Scott's hurt!" she said, kneeling down beside him. She glared up at Logan. "He saved your life not once but twice..." and then giggled. "Both times when Sabertooth handed you your ass!"
He scowled, trying to get over to her, but his feet wouldn't work. Any second now, though--"Smartass," he said, but that was as far as he got, for suddenly Sabertooth came pouncing down at Melody and Scott from the opening above, landing not two feet behind Melody, his great claw rising over her.
It paused.
Logan looked up. Jean was there, and she had Sabertooth in her grip.
Melody touched Scott's forehead. Then with the other hand, she reached up and clasped Sabertooth's hairy wrist.
There was a flash of light from her hands, blinking in unison. Sabertooth's contorted face instantly melted into a look of blankness.
Scott woke up and pushed himself up with both hands. He turned his head and took one look at Sabertooth before flipping over, reaching back, and turning on his visor.
Full blast.
With Melody right there.
Logan leapt forward, hurling into her with all his weight as the red beam singed his boottips. Sabertooth made a new hole in the wall on the far side of the school.
It wasn't enough. Scott turned his attention to Toad, who was just watching innocently.
*Ker-POW!*
The blast hit Toad square in the chest, knocking him into a pile on top of his former master.
Mystique suddenly appeared in the doorway, ready for a new round.
Scott leveled his beam at her and found out what burning blue skin smelled like as she vanished in a brilliant flash of red. There was a loud crash as she landed.
Jean floated to the floor beside him as he spun around wildly, visor flashing. She caught his hand and shouted into his ear--
"Enough, Scott! You got them!"
He seemed to calm at seeing her, but he was breathing heavily. He looked to Melody and Logan, where she was lying on the floor, arms spread eagle, and Logan was on top of her, completely bewildered. She lifted one finger to her mouth and began making vibrating noises by flipping it up and down her lips.
"What did she do?" Scott breathed, still panting.
"I don't know. You were knocked out--"
"Scientific rationales later, Jean," Logan said curtly, getting on his hands and knees. "Melody's hurt. What do we do?"
As if in reply, Melody rolled over, pushing Logan off her completely, and lost her lunch on the formerly clean tile floor.
"I'd start by holding her hair," Jean said.
Logan gave her a rather dirty look, but did as she said.
"We got to get her back to the jet," he said, rising. Gently, he bent over Melody's lap and got his shoulder into her side to hoist her over.
Seeing what he was about to do, Jean cried, "Logan!"
"What?"
"You can't do that! She's sick! She's not a sack of potatoes. You have to be gentle!"
"I am being gentle!" he protested. "And besides, this way if she pukes again, it goes that way." He gestured over his shoulder with his thumb. "And not all over me."
Jean's dirty look deepened. But then Scott said, a bit fuzzily, as his head was still clearing from the insane burst of energy he'd just experienced, "Uh...does anyone know if Rogue's okay?"
Melody looked up, over her shoulder. Her expression was extremely nasty, so much so it didn't even look like her. "Interrupting their lover's quarrel isn't all that smart, Scott," she growled.
Logan snapped his head around and gave her an admonishing look. Then, realizing that she was not exactly herself in the grip of the drug, he muttered, "And some people lick toads on purpose."
Melody's whole head raised, her eyes glittering. "Did he turn into a prince yet?" she asked, looking around, and then looked back at Logan. She rose onto her knees, throwing her arms wide. "Ah, there you are!" she cried, and hurled herself forward, burying her face in Logan's chest.
In surprise, he got his arms around her, trying to hold her still. Then, her words slurred by the fact that her mouth was half-closed against the pressure of being held to his massive, well- formed chest, she said, "Geeze, Logan...you stink. You smell like you puked all over yourself."
He ran a hand through her hair and smiled just a bit. He had never heard that love was easy, but then again, how many had to deal with their lovers on an acid trip?
Her head flopped back and she gazed up at him. Then she turned her eyes to Jean. "Aren't you glad I came along and took him off your hands?" she mocked, her eyes rather hard. Then, the channel changed again, and she said, "Where's Scott?"
"Checking on Rogue," Jean said wearily.
"Ah, always your errand boy! Consider yourself lucky, Logie, that I came along and spared you being bossed around for the rest of your life." Abruptly, she struggled out of Logan's arms and got to her feet, rising up to her full height and giving Jean a good glare. "By Mizzzz doctor here, who thinks she knows everythin'. Well, there's one thing she don't know--"
And at that moment, Melody promptly collapsed.
Jean was just a hair faster than Logan to catch her. She turned her over deliberately onto her stomach.
"What are ya doin' that for?" Logan asked.
"Jimmy Hendrix died by choking on his own vomit. Three guesses what he was doing at the time." She sighed, rubbing her brow. "We gotta wake her up somehow."
"Here, let me," Logan said, gently pushing Jean out of the way. He lifted Melody up, looping his arm under her, across her chest and pulling her to lean her back against his own chest. Her hair spilled over the sleeve of his uniform, a tangled, dirty mess. "Let's head back to the jet and you can look after her while I finish cleaning up."
"Oh, sure, leave me again," Melody murmured, lifting her head a bit. "Always for her...for *herrrrrr.*" Then her head drooped.
Jean tapped the her cheeks. "No, Mel, you gotta stay up," she said. "Logan, make her stand."
Melody's head snapped up, her eyes flashing hazy fire as Logan tried to comply. She kicked her leg back and connected with his shin, and while it didn't hurt, it surprised him, and he lost his grip for just a second. Melody swayed but stayed on her feet, glaring at Jean.
"Now you look here, you hussy," she spat, pointing right into Jean's face, but like a shifting wind, the mood changed and instantly her face broke out into a beaming grin. "Thank you so much for helping me before!" she cried, throwing herself at her, her arms practically cutting off her air. "I couldn't have done it without out!"
"No problem," Jean gargled, dislodging Melody's grip and handing her back to Logan. "Here--this is your relationship, not mine."
"And don't you forget it," Logan said with a chuckle. Jean raised her eyebrow archly at him, but smiled. Forgetting it was the last thing she could have done.
About ten minutes after the chaos had settled, Jean was able to piece together what exactly had happened.
Scott found Storm with Rogue already, having gone to the room she and her parents were using to make sure that Magneto hadn't found them first. While leading Sabertooth on the chase, she had wound up circling back around, and when Jean had come to, after being knocked around by Toad onto the roof, it had been just in time to help the white-haired mutant. Seeing that there were now two of them, Sabertooth had jumped in through the hole, back to his earlier and much easier prey, Scott, to finish the job he had started. After she had seen that Scott had the situation well in hand, she had headed off to check on Rogue and her family.
Rogue and her parents had been rather frightened by the commotion, but Rogue was more afraid for her parents than for herself. She wasn't sure how they'd handle seeing her absorb someone, so she'd held back, not joining the fight, even if she wanted to, which she did.
Scott declared that they had to leave, in order to let the authorities come and recover the Brotherhood without risking any mutant hostilities. Rogue gave her parents the address of the school, even though it was far away from Meridian, Mississippi, and her parents promised to visit as soon as they could get away. The whole fight had only lasted about 20 minutes, and it was too early to just end the visit, and since the Brotherhood was down for the time being, it was a safe bet that the house was in the clear. Storm volunteered to accompany them to the house, and Scott, Jean, Logan and Melody all headed back to the school, where Jean could give Melody some real medical attention.
Scott notified the proper authorities, just like he had last time, and they came quickly to recover who was left, which turned out to be only Toad. The others were nowhere to be found by the time the authorities arrived.
Melody kept passing in and out of consciousness during the trip back, one minute giggling madly and the next cursing violently. She shrieked and claimed that there were bugs crawling on her and even tried to make Logan pull out his claws to get them off. She panicked when she looked out the window and saw that they were flying and then tried to make them open the door so she could fly on her own--"I don't need no stinkin' plane"--and finally Logan had to strap her down just to keep her from hurting herself.
Just before she finally passed out for the last time, she looked at him and said, "You know, you'd look good in blue and yellow spandex." And that was her last word. She didn't wake up again the entire way.
But the hallucinations did not stop.
If anyone had ever suggested to Melody that she do a hit of acid in her life, she might very well have done it. She just had never known anyone who knew where to get acid or was willing to let her try it. She was finding out right now how incredibly stupid those kind of people were, and was feeling rather glad that God had been kind enough to spare her from ever knowing them. She just wished God would make some sort of miracle happen, because she felt like she was going to go completely insane.
She was vaguely aware of when Logan pinned her arms to her sides and strapped her onto some kind of soft table, in a room that she thought was the lab that she had been in earlier with Jean, when she had examined her. Melody had wanted to tease Logan about it, telling him that if he wanted to be kinky there were easier ways to go about it, but suddenly, she wasn't in the seat anymore---she was against the wall in the school again, metal straps tightly bound around her arms, and Magneto was there, his hand raised high, pressing against her chest.
She couldn't breathe.
She began thrashing, but it was no use. Ever time she got one arm free another band of metal would seize it and pull it back down into place.
"Ice bath!" Jean ordered, beginning to yank off Melody's clothes. After a moment's hesitation, Logan joined in as Scott ran upstairs to get Bobby and Storm pulled out the huge metal basin that they normally reserved for their aquatic-based mutants when Jean needed to run tests. Within seconds, she had water filling it, and Scott came back with Bobby, who made the basin freezing cold, turning some of the water in it to pure ice.
Melody realized that Logan was there, in front of her, paralyzed by Magneto's power. "Maybe you should point those claws in a safer direction after all," Magneto was saying as he made Logan's arms come forward, claws extended. Logan tried to dig in his heels but Magneto pushed him forward, closer and closer to Melody, until the claws were mere inches away from her neck...her heart....
"IN!" Jean pulled the straps loose, yanking off the rest of Melody's jeans as Logan got her shirt. They lifted her up together and pushed her right into the basin, the heat from her body tremendous. It almost made the water sizzle as she made contact. Logan kept her head above water as Jean struggled to maintain a reading of her temperature.
"What's wrong with her?" Logan asked, his voice barely a whisper, so terrified he was of the look of agony on Melody's face. She was locked in some sort of hallucination, this one only in her mind, and her body was almost on fire.
"Fever," Jean said, looking at her watch and pressing her fingers to Melody's throat. "So high...my God...it's so high..."
He was fighting--but Magneto was too strong. He tried to keep his fist back, but the claws pushed forward relentlessly, grazing the thick material of her shirt, shredding it with even the lightest contact, until her bare skin was exposed. Slowly, so slowly, they began to sink into her skin. First a centimeter. Then a half inch. The blood ran down her breast, soaking her shirt, thick and dripping and sticky.
She looked at his face. The pain there was staggering. She almost couldn't bear it, but suddenly she knew what she had to do. Opening her mind completely too him, she drew his anger and rage and fear into herself, sending him only the soft caress of her love.
It was all the strength he needed. He began to pull his claw out, the strain of it so intensely writ across his face he ceased to look human and was suddenly all wolf.
Logan felt a touch on his mind--she was there, she was reaching for him. She needed him, needed his strength.
"Bobby!" Jean yelled, waving the young man over. Logan considered making Bobby cover his eyes to preserve Melody's dignity, but there was simply too much else to worry about. "You have to freeze the water. She's going to boil."
"Freeze it?" Logan asked, his voice rising. "Won't that--I mean--"
"We freeze her to get her temperature down, then we can thaw her out. Bobby," Jean said, looking at him, "do it."
Bobby dipped his hand into the water. Logan felt the temperature drop to the point where his hands ached, burned with cold. Ice formed on the surface, crystallizing on Melody's flesh.
Jean let out a gasp of relief as it worked. The numbers on the thermometer began to drop. "Get her out!" she barked, not missing a second. Logan got his arms under her, ignoring the biting pain as the icy water lapped at his skin, and yanked her out. Jean supported her head as they laid her into a bed that Scott had rolled down with Storm and Bobby's help. Rogue came running in with more blankets than she could carry. The Professor was rolling in on her heels.
"What happened?" he asked, but knew he wasn't going to get an answer yet from the tautness of Jean's face. She was fighting death itself--but it wasn't her expression that told him the story.
It was her fear.
Jean turned around as soon as Melody was on the bed. She grabbed the blankets and threw them over her, looking only once to Logan, who instantly understood. He took over, climbing on top of the bed, right over Melody, pressing the blankets onto her icy skin with his own bodyweight.
Jean turned around and pointed. "Thank you all. Now get out." Calm, professional. Her eyes turned to the Professor. "Everyone."
He nodded. He would just have to ask someone else who couldn't give him a more medical explanation. Gesturing to Rogue and Scott, he began shooing them out. "You heard the doctor," he said.
"Logan," Jean said, whirling on him the very second the others were out the door, "you have to strip."
"What?" he demanded, startled.
"Strip, and get under the covers with her. The blankets are not enough--your body heat will help, and you're the only one I can risk exposing her to, considering your healing factor." Jean's face grew hard. "Just DO it!"
Logan nodded, rising and tearing off the black leather suit. He pulled up the blanket and slid in next to the icicle that Melody's body had become. He wrapped his arms around her and waited. She was too cold to even shiver.
She wasn't in the school anymore. She was in the house, at the top of the stairs, where it had all begun. She could hear someone calling her name, from the upstairs. She looked up--it was her mother, but she didn't look right. Her hair was too red, and why was she wearing a black leather suit?
"Come up here! The chill in the basement will kill you!" her mother insisted.
There was a scratching noise coming from the basement. Melody felt a strange fear. She was cold all over...cold and...no, too cold to shiver...but there was some sort of warmth...why was the warmth making her shiver?
Her mother started to come down the stairs. No, it wasn't her mother--it was her father. With red blazing eyes, still in that damnable black leather suit! "Melody!" he barked. "You heard me! Get up here!"
Melody stepped forward and practically fell down the stairs. Her head in cold concrete and it hurt--oh, God, it hurt. It throbbed...she was going to be sick from the pain. She lifted herself up from the floor and crawled, but there was someone in front of her, with shiny black leather boots.
She turned a little and looked up. The face was fuzzy. Green hair? No, she blinked and saw Andrew's smiling face, and a bright black and white collar around his neck. He lowered his hand, but her own felt like lead--she couldn't lift it.
"Pick up the cross."
Who had spoken? It sounded like someone she knew but couldn't remember.
"Pick it up! Pick it up! Put it in the bag, bump bump!"
She shook her head. The person vanished, but the voice still drummed through her, and more words started to form, but they were jumbled and she knew what they were, she could hear them, they made sense as they entered her mind, but the chaos there just mixed them up and turned them into gibberish, and her memory wouldn't work, so she would forget them the instant she heard them. And the sometimes changed, then repeated, then changed, went back--she moaned, forcing her hands forward, crawling.
Crawling toward that door.
"Pick it up," she wheezed, with the insanity of a person tormented by a song repeating itself over and over in their head. "Put it in the bag..."
Finally, Melody started to shiver. Logan wanted to cry in relief as the shivering grew and grew and grew until she was quaking all over. He tried to hold her close, hold her still, but she flopped against him, and when her eyes started to open, they were glassy and unfocused.
Her lips parted. "Bump...bump..."
He pressed his mouth against her temple, praying that she was going to live. He didn't know what he'd do if she died on him. He just might have to find a way to die with her.
She thought she was almost there, but the door just kept getting farther away, like it was moving. And then she realized that she wasn't on the basement floor at all, she was in the snow, moving through the thick whiteness, trying to find him, calling his name, although she would forget it the second she spoke it.
Something was sliding across her back. She looked toward her shoulder to see a blue snake covered with darker blue scales, and as it slid past her it dipped down into a ditch. As its tail end brushed across her wrist it changed color and turned a sickly green, suddenly seizing her arm and yanking her forward.
She felt like she was being pulled through thick, slimy jelly. She was blinded by the snow, felt like her head had turned into the static fuzz of a blitzed television's screen. But there was a hand on her ankle, yanking her back.
Melody looked. Ferro was there, naked as a newborn baby, only the dogtags hanging around his neck, shining so brightly she was blinded. She shut her eyes, only to feel the vicious yank of the tongue around her wrist.
Ferro growled...no, what was his name again? Why couldn't she remember? He yanked back at her, pulling her toward him a good foot, only to have the tongue's grip tighten and resist. She felt like she was being ripped open down the middle, and she was going to start crying, but instead of wet, relieving tears she only felt terrible dry heaves that just shook her again and again, and as she tried to look up into the sky she saw birds, millions of them, soft and white and beautiful and their feathers were falling down all around her. And she didn't know if she was crying because she was now lying, ripped in half, bleeding to death in the snow, her life's blood being emptied into crimson pools around her, or if she was so overwhelmed by the feathers as they caressed her and comforted her, soaking up her blood but staying their brilliant white, and a voice whispering to her to just hold on, everything was going to be okay...*I love you.....*......
When she opened her eyes, she had to remind herself where she was. She had to remind herself that she was 35 years old, that some time ago Logan--yes, that was his name--had found her in a bar, she didn't remember the name of the town, and that he had brought her to this place, Xavier's School for Talented Youngsters, and that she had been in a fight. She had done something, she didn't remember what, and it had made her do things she never would have done otherwise.
It was dark around her. She couldn't see anything. Her eyes blinked and blinked and eventually adjusted to the tiny light source of the crack under her door. She was in her room. Or was she? She'd seen terrible things before, terrible dreams that felt so real, because the pain was so real. Was she dreaming again?
She lifted her hand. It felt slow and sluggish. No, this was another dream. She wanted to cry--would there be no end to them? The last one she remembered was one of her feeling like she was being emptied, all of her spilling out in the form of blood, but being filled again with soft, white feathers that made her feel deep sorrow and tremendous joy at the same time. She knew she had had other dreams since that one, most twisted and disturbing like the cover of an H. P. Lovecraft book, and some more like a Salvador Dali painting.
Her sobs bubbled in her throat, but as they did, she felt so sick...she felt the nausea all through her body, and it was so horrible she felt like she might be the first person to die from it.
She somehow managed to find the strength to roll herself over and hurl her guts out over the side of the bed. The effort nearly choked her as her breath came sucking back into her lungs before she could finish. It flew back out, desperation kicking in, her self-preservation instincts making her do whatever she had to do.
The horrible hacking made her hurt even worse. She pulled back and rested her face against the blankets, soiling them. The stink was awful. She had never been more miserable in her life. She wanted to die, but she knew that life was too cruel to let her go, so instead she started to cry.
Someone heard her. She felt footsteps pounding like they were actually traipsing across her skull, and the door opened, letting in so much light, she felt like her eyes were going to explode, even though she had screwed them shut tightly. She heard someone swear.
"Knew we shoulda put a trash can next to your bed," Logan said, but his voice was filled with warm compassion, and it wafted over her like a fresh, reviving breeze. She lifted her head, trying to get her mouth to work.
"Logan," she said.
"Shhhh," he said, pulling the dirty blanket off of her and covering up the mess she had made. She felt cold for a minute, but he had another one, this one even softer and more comfortable--felt like it was made of velour or something. He wiped her mouth and helped her sip a glass of water, which tasted so wonderful against her parched throat. She wanted to gulp it down but he pulled it away.
"You'll just get sick again," he said. "Gotta be careful."
"So...thirsty..." she whined voicelessly, her eyes too dry to tear up.
"I know, darlin', I know." He let her have another sip. "I don't care if it takes an hour, you're gonna drink slow and that's it. Don't worry, Mel...I got all night."
He was true to his word. He didn't leave her side until she was sleeping soundly again. The fever had left her only a few hours ago, and only when Jean had thought it was safe did she let them move Melody to her own bed. It had taken six hours to stabilize her, and even then Jean was not sure that the fever would not return.
When she woke up next, Logan turned on one of the lights in the room, very soft and low. He had been able to see her in the dark, but the coloring her face was even worse than he had expected it to be. She was white but blotched with red, and her eyes were bloodshot and there were circles so dark underneath them that she looked like someone had broken her nose.
"What time is it?" she whispered after another slow drink of water.
"About four in the morning," he told her gently.
Her expression shifted into one of shock, and at that moment she became completely awake. "Aren't you tired?" she asked, raising her head just the slightest bit.
"Relax, Mel...if I need to sleep the floor's good enough for me. At least, now that you're done puking on it." He chuckled lightly and smoothed her hair away from her face, and her hand went up and covered his. She seemed surprised when she felt her hair, and her hand went to her face and then her clothing. She looked down and saw that she was in a pair of soft grey flannel pajamas.
Her eyes went back to him. "Magneto hurt you," she whispered, "I know he did." She reached out and touched him, her hand lightly grazing his ribs. "What did he do to you?"
He shook his head and smiled down at her. "Don't worry about me, I heal fast."
She shut her eyes, her head wagging a negative. "I know he hurt you, Logan...if he pulled up one plate on your skeleton and left it..." she began to cough, her raw throat resisting using so many words, and as she swallowed she felt the sickening wave of nausea again. Her head jerked up involuntarily and she nearly flew over the side of the bed. There was a bucket there, and Logan grabbed it and pulled it closer just in time.
For several minutes all she could do was cough and hack and gag, and when she stopped she was shaking and sobbing. "I hate throwing up," she choked, although Logan barely understood her, her throat was so ripped up.
He didn't speak, just tenderly wiped her face and helped her to another drink. All she had lost was more of the poison in her system and all the water she had taken in before. Jean had told him that they had to soak up that garbage and get it through her system somehow, because if she kept on vomiting she might wind up severely damaging her throat and possibly even starve herself. Her stomach would forget how to hold down food. She'd given Logan a box of Saltines and told her to give Melody three of them ever half hour, whether she was puking or not. The longer she could hold then down, though, the better.
When she was calm again, she looked back at him, and Logan could feel her in his head. "I may not be telepathic, Logan," she croaked, "but you're not telling me something."
He shook his head. "Melody, please, don't worry about--"
She reached down and touched his side. Immediately he jerked.
"I knew it," Melody said, getting on her elbows. "That monster--he pulled up one of your plates and it keeps scraping against something." She shook her head. "Can't Jean fix it?"
"She ain't got nothing that'll cut adamantium," Logan said, giving Melody a very patient look. "Now lie back down." It was almost a growl.
She obeyed, simply because she didn't have the strength to do otherwise.
"It's not so bad," he tried to comfort her. "Jean looked at it, it's only a little curling of the metal. It's uncomfortable but it's not unbearable."
"Not for you," Melody spat. "You're so invulnerable."
"I don't blame you for being pissed at me for that," he said after a pause.
She sighed. "I'm not pissed at you, Logan," she said. "I could never be..." she reached out and grasped his hand, and he brought it to his mouth, kissing it tenderly. "I just..." she shook her head, listlessly. "I don't know what I am."
"You're very sick," Jean said softly from the doorway. Logan jumped a bit, not having heard her come in, which was a rare thing for him. Jean offered Melody a gentle smile and came over to the bed, picking up the filled bucket and putting a clean one in its place. "I thought you might need this."
Melody fixed her blurry eyes on Jean. "What...what happened?" she asked.
"Toad's saliva," Jean explained, "contained a powerful hallucinogen. You've been having visions and reoccurring fevers. I can imagine you've had some horrible dreams."
Melody groaned. "I wasn't...babbling, was I?"
Logan and Jean just exchanged a look. Melody caught the emotion complete and was sure her face was scarlet.
"Wonderful," she muttered, throwing an arm over her face. "Just wonderful. Well, I don't want to know what I said."
Jean nodded, trying not to smile. "Right now you're coming down. You may get some flashbacks, but I think you're almost out of the woods. But you are probably going to be throwing up a lot over the next day, as your body finishes purging itself."
"Don't say purge," Melody muttered from under her pajama sleeve. Then she peeked at the red-headed doctor. "How did I...get like this? I mean, it almost feels like someone gave me a bath."
"An ice bath," Logan said. "Rogue and Jean cleaned you up, though, got you changed-- Rogue washed your hair for you."
"Thought it felt a bit too clean," Melody murmured.
Jean shot Logan a sideglance, and Melody felt something..."What?" she asked.
Jean stepped toward the door. "Get her to eat those crackers," she said. "I'll be back in a while with some anti-nausea drugs if she can't keep anything down."
"All right," Logan grunted.
"What?" Melody demanded, glaring at Logan. "What is it? You're not telling me something again, I know it!"
"If you don't calm down you're going to work up another fever!" Logan bit back, pressing her back against the pillow by her shoulder.
"Romance with an empath can't be an easy thing," Jean sighed before she disappeared.
Logan shot a dirty look at the closing door, then turned back to Melody's demanding gaze. "It's stupid," he said, "not even worth mentioning."
Her eyes narrowed. "Well, I can't imagine anything so little worth mentioning making you blush like you're doing right now."
He raised his hand to rub his chin, as if that would wipe it away. It only made it deepen. "Jean knows, you know," he muttered.
"About what?" she turned a bit, getting onto her side.
"About you and me..." he seemed to want to crawl out of his skin, he was so uncomfortable. "Well, when you were in your fever and we had to dunk you in the ice bath, after the fever dropped we had to warm you up again and so Jean made me..." he trailed off.
Melody almost burst out laughing, catching the sudden image from his head as it surged on a wave of embarrassment. It hurt her stomach and she groaned, clutching it. "Oh Logan," she giggled, even though the pain. "So what happened?"
He glowered at his feet. "I was worried you were going to be mad when you found out," he said.
She sighed. "So you told Jean that you and I hadn't made love yet," she said. "I'm not mad, but I don't know why you'd feel compelled to tell her that, unless you were worried I was going to die and you'd never get the chance."
"I just didn't want her to get the wrong idea," Logan mumbled. "I mean, considering how much you wanted to wait, I didn't exactly feel all that great about having to lie naked in a bed with you right in front of her."
"Naked?" Melody said, cocking an eyebrow.
"Well, mostly."
Melody shook her head. "I still don't get it," she said, "what did you do that was such a giveaway, that would make YOU, of all people, feel that you had to explain any---"
The look on his face instantly silenced her. She almost started laughing again, but instead she raised her hand to his face, stroking the wiry hair along his cheek. He turned into her touch, and her fingers grazed his lips.
"Oh, Logan," she sighed, "I love you, you know that?"
His blush faded and he smiled, "Why, because underneath my tough exterior I'm just another geek?"
She shook her head. "I wouldn't change a single hair on your head." Her eyes drooped sleepily. "Not a single hair..."
He kissed the palm of her hand. "Well, maybe just the grey ones," he teased.
The rest of the night passed into the day and Melody slept on and off, doped up by the anti-nausea drugs Jean gave her at dawn. She only woke for Logan's regular feedings of saltine crackers and icy cold water, which was soon supplemented by some lemon-lime soda. Jean checked on her regularly.
It was the longest day of her life.
Logan stayed close, but it was easy to see that as the next evening came, he was getting rather restless, just sitting there by her side, watching over her. She wasn't exactly the best conversationalist in the world, not being conscious most of the time.
He did enjoy watching her sleep. Still, with little else to do but think, he began to realize some unpleasant things. He was almost grateful she wasn't awake to pick up on his thoughts.
Jean finally relieved him at about 8 o'clock, and Rogue slipped in, fully gloved. She had taken over a few times already that day when Logan went off for his own meals, and spent the time sitting quietly in a nearby chair, doing her homework.
Jean led Logan down to the Professor's study, where he was going through a box of books. "Melody's materials have arrived," Prof. Xavier explained.
"Yeah, I heard that you'd ordered a buncha stuff for her," Logan mumbled. Being in a room with two telepaths, it was only a matter of time before--
"What's wrong, Logan?" Jean asked quietly. Logan slumped into a chair, giving the Professor a quick look before beginning to grumble it out.
"I'm bored," he said.
The other two exchanged glances.
"Bored?" Prof. Xavier echoed.
"Ain't had much else to do this last half day except sit around and think, and I realized somthin'," Logan explained, taking a deep breath. "All the stuff that's been goin' on, gettin' things straightened out with Mel and all...I been lookin' at my life and I jus' don't know..." He shrugged, and it was almost comical, how helpless it made him look. "What the hell do I do now?"
Jean seemed more surprised than the Professor. "Don't you know, Logan?" she asked, leaning back against a nearby table and crossing her arms.
"No, Jean, I don't," Logan muttered back. "I've spent my whole life--and only now have I realized how much of it, in the perspective of things--lookin' for answers. Now I got 'em. What do I do with them?"
Prof. Xavier seemed to be trying not to smile. "Logan," he said, in that fatherly-patient way, "you know you have a place here. All you have to say is when. There are a hundred things you could do here."
Logan shook his head. "It ain't that, Chuck," he said, and the Professor ruffled a bit. It had been quite a while since Logan had had to address him personally, and he'd forgotten how flippant the man could be. Of course, Logan had always felt so much older than anyone else, and now to find out that he was actually younger--frightfully younger--had thrown him off kilter. It was probably adding to the strain of this new adjustment. "I'd never admit this to another human being, but I like being here. I just don't want to stop liking being here. I don't know how to stay in one place. It ain't what I'm used to. And I had kinda hoped that...well...that Mel would want to come with me." He looked away, embarrassed by the confession. "But she's got a right to a life, too. She shouldn't hafta follow me around. She wants to stay here...I'm happy for her, if she's happy."
There was a thoughtful pause. Jean lifted her head and looked around. "You know," she said, her voice low, "you have to try and work this out." Her eyes looked deeper into Logan's. "There's this thing with telepaths...I guess it goes for empaths, too."
The Professor only nodded. Logan frowned, confused.
"What?"
"Telepaths and empaths, or for that matter anyone who has some sort of psychic power, have a tendency to form a mental bond with a...well, a partner, if we just want to use the basic lingo." She shifted her weight, realizing that she was in mildly dangerous territory. "Scott and I...we're like that, too. But we were lucky, both of us came here for the same thing and found it. You and Melody, you're on two paths. Somehow, you have to join those paths together."
"That's just the point," Logan said, a bit irritably. "I thought we had."
"No, you just found each other. When Melody gets better, you'll be fine for a while, because you're going to finally get a chance to just be together. But when life wears on, you have to have something else there."
Logan shut his eyes and shook his head. "That's what I been tryin' to say," he said quietly.
"Logan," Prof. Xavier chimed in, "you know we talked about you teaching self-defense. I realize now that that simply wasn't enough for you. Your training as a fighter makes you the best as what you do, but even the best can get better." His voice grew very grave, and he leaned forward. Logan could even feel the tension running across the back of his neck, and Jean's, for that matter. "We need you to stay here, Logan. We need you very badly. Magneto is loose again, and it's only a matter of time before he again tries to ignite the war between mutants and humanity. We have so much to prepare for, we need scouts, we need people who are willing to teach others how to use their gifts, and many of those gifts are going to be like yours."
"We need warriors," Jean said, her voice like the Professor's. Logan looked to her. He had never heard the two of them be so serious.
Then he realized--all they'd been doing until now was just fun and games. The first round. Magneto had tested their strengths and weaknesses. But it was only the first layer of the onion. And as this one peeled away, the layers were going to get bigger and bigger.
If he wanted action and adventure, he didn't have to look any farther than right here.
"How many others know?" he asked, his voice low and grave.
"Jean, Storm, Scott," Xavier listed them off, "and of course, you...Rogue is going to have a large part in it, I'm sure. She has a personal vendetta that is going to make her very hard to hold back. And there are other students who are growing and changing, maturing in their powers. Like Bobby, and there are so many others to recruit, to bring into the fold. Logan, if you truly want something to do, we won't hold back any longer. We'll give you more than even you can handle."
Logan's eyes brightened. "Bring it on, Chuck," he said, rising. "Bring it on."
Jean smiled as she followed Logan out of the room. Once they were in the quiet of the hallway, Jean whispered, "Logan...were you really thinking of leaving here?"
Logan looked back at her. "I don't know, Jeannie," he sighed. "I'm lucky I didn't get to think long enough to start worrying about that. But I just want her to be happy. That's it."
Jean nodded, a bit shaken. "You both love each other so much," she murmured. "I'm just glad you were both able to wake up and see it." She gave him a crooked little grin. "Especially her."
Logan gave her a reassuring smile. "Yeah. "
"She would have gone with you, you know, if you had decided to leave," Jean said, her voice level rising a bit more naturally. "I don't know if you could have stopped her."
He shrugged as he turned away. "I guess we'll just have to see. Hopefully, it won't come to that."
The next morning, Melody dragged herself out of bed and made an appearance in the kitchen. She didn't know what day of the week it was, but whatever day it was, it was obviously the day for everyone to sit around the kitchen in their underwear and scarf pancakes.
Scott was in his T-shirt and shorts, Jean had on a soft pink robe, and Ororo had on a silky white nightgown and a flowery covering. Logan was at the stove, scrambling eggs for himself. He turned around the second she appeared in the room.
"What are you doing?" he demanded, setting down the frypan away from the burner with a clank and coming over to her.
"Wolverine, the mother hen," Scott cracked, sipping his coffee. He yanked out the empty chair beside him, looking to Melody. "Here, let her sit."
"No, you're going back to bed," Logan declared. Melody flapped her hand at him and went for the chair.
"No, let me stay," she said. "I'm tired of being in bed. If I sleep any more I'll never wake up again." She sighed as she slid into the seat and rested her elbow on the table, then eye-balled Scott's donut.
"How you feeling?" Scott asked, even as Logan scowled and returned to his breakfast, realizing that Melody was just as stubborn as he was and there was no sense fighting her.
"Hungry, actually," Melody sighed, looking to Jean. "What do you say, doc, can I have some real food?"
Jean considered this. "Well...you need to be careful."
"Yeah," Logan said, his back to them. "Listen to her if you won't listen to me."
Melody frowned at him. "Party pooper," she spat.
"Party..." Ororo murmured. "Is there some vanilla ice cream in the refrigerator?"
"Ice cream for breakfast?" Scott said.
Jean brightened. "Yeah, something cool and light. My mother used to give me ice cream when I was getting better after a tummy ache."
"And you have a medical degree," Logan snorted.
Melody laughed and pressed her face in both hands. "When I was little," she said, "the first meal I would always get after having the flu was a McDonalds Happy Meal. Usually a cheeseburger and a chocolate shake."
"Really?" Scott said, smiling a bit. "Why?"
Melody shrugged. "Dad said something about the salt...the craving for salt after the body gets done fighting a virus."
"Because of the moisture excess in the body, produced by healing cells," Jean supplemented, placing a small bowl of the ice cream in front of Melody. "Take small bites," she murmured, before finishing with, "Your father was a pretty smart guy."
"Yeah," Melody murmured, digging into the ice cream. "He was...I hope he still is."
There was an uneasy silence. Jean slid back into her seat and looked at the paper, sipping her coffee. Logan managed to finish burning his eggs and took a seat beside Melody. She looked around, and as if she hadn't realized her last sentence had been spoken out loud, she burst out with, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to kill the conversation. So someone tell me, what day is it today?"
"Fall break," Scott said. "The kids are out."
"Halloween is in two weeks," Jean announced. "We have to plan for the party now."
"In some places I've been in they celebrate on both the 30th and 31st," Melody said idly. "You can get twice the candy that way."
Logan gave her a bemused smile. "You like Halloween?"
"Who doesn't?" Jean said, a bit excitedly. "I used to love dressing up."
Melody beamed. "Yeah, I did, too. Haven't done it in...years..." *Wow,* she thought to herself, *I'm the real party pooper, not Logan.* "What kind of party do you guys have? Dress up?"
"Yes," Ororo said, "and this year I am charged with handling the games." She gave Scott a glare. "Thanks to someone pulling my name out of his pointy hat."
"I don't have a pointy hat, Ro," Scott snickered. "It's yours now."
Melody brightened. "I'll do it if you don't want to," she offered.
Logan placed a warm hand on her shoulder. "Are you sure---?"
"Rogue can help me," Melody said. "I think she'll like it. She's got a friend, what's her name? Jubes something?"
"Jubilation Lee," Ororo supplied with a slight roll of her eyes.
"Yeah, we can recruit her, too." She gave Logan a sly look. "You want to help, too?"
He gave her a funny look. "I dunno know nothin' 'bout parties."
"That's for damn sure," Scott muttered behind the paper.
Logan glared at him, but Melody grasped his hand. "Come on, darlin'," she teased, "if for nothing else than to mother-hen me."
He wanted to glare back, but felt the terrible urge to kiss her instead. He settled for her cheek. "All right, darlin', you win. So what kinda games, like apple bobbing stuff?" His dark eyes glittered. "Spin the bottle?"
"Pin the tail on the Wolverine?" Scott piped up, peeking behind his paper.
"Wouldn't need a blindfold for you," Logan shot back. "Just take your goggles off."
"Visor," Scott retorted. "Come on, Logie, you're a smart boy, say it with me. V-i-s-o-r. Visor."
"Okay, Visor-boy," Logan snarled, but he was laughing in spite of himself.
"Good job, Logie!" Scott clapped his hands. Melody began to giggle.
Logan gave Melody a good glare, but it lacked any real strength. "See what you started?"
"Which part?" Melody asked, smiling sheepishly.
"Logie," Scott said. "You called him Logie before, at the school."
"I did?" Melody cried, mortified.
"Yeah," Logan bit out, "you did."
"Oh, Wolvie," Melody giggled, "I'm so sorry."
And at the mention of the other nickname, Scott broke into roaring laughter.
Later that night, when Melody came down to dinner, there was a happy meal from McDonald's waiting for her. With a cheeseburger. Logan denied any knowledge of the item, but he seemed to be very anxious for her to find out what toy she had gotten. When it turned out to be a Hotwheels motorcycle, there was no sense in Logan even trying to hide his pleasure.
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