Disclaimer: Lena, Caleb, Annie, assorted bar patrons and fastfood clerks are the products of my fevered imagination. Everyone else in the story is property of Marvel. Uncredited song lyrics are from the Golden Palominos.
"Look at him, Galatea. Look at your hero now. Do you still think he's going to carry you out of here on a white charger?"
Logan floated in the dark. He could make out the strangely accented voice but not much else. He tried to open his eyes and, finally, he could see something. He was looking through a narrow pane of glass. In the room he was looking into, he saw himself, naked but for computer components, feeds and wires. His eyes looked dead and his jaw was slack.
"I'll get out of here anyway. You can't keep me forever." The voice was electronic but somehow familiar.
"That is where you are wrong, Galatea. You won't get out of here and I will keep you forever. I put too much work in to making you."
"You didn't make me! I'm a human being!"
"That is enough! I've had as much of your insolence as I'm going to take! It's time you understand the truth of your predicament. I've coddled you long enough."
Suddenly, Logan could hear something open behind him. Cold air chilled him to the bone as he felt himself being lifted up by the shoulders. His body hung limply from where it was held and his initial attempts to see were thwarted by what seemed to be blinding light. Finally, his eyes adjusted and he found himself looking in a mirror. He was shocked at what he saw.
"Look at yourself, Galatea. How long do you think you would last in the outside world?"
It was Lena in the mirror but only the eyes allowed him to know that. They were still the dark gray that he knew. Everything else was horribly wrong. She was completely hairless. She tried to cover her nakedness but her weak, atrophied limbs wouldn't respond. Like him, she was rigged with wires and tubes. A metal mask obscured her mouth. The skin was pale and networked with blue veins and it glistened with a layer of gel. He could feel her shame and her terror as she shivered in the cold.
"If I had let him live, do you really think he would have been thrilled to take you home with him? Do you think he would have wanted to show you off to his friends? I don't think so Galatea. I think he would have shrunk from you in horror. He would never have understood how beautiful you are, what an amazing achievement you represent."
"What have you done to me?" The electronic voice wailed.
"I have freed your mind from its confinement. I have taken your power to its logical end. I have made of you the perfect symbiosis of man and machine. I have made you Galatea."
<Don't listen to him, darlin'. He's off his rocker. We just need to get you out of here and you'll be fine. It'll just take time. Ya gotta trust me, Lena.>
<Oh God, Logan, be quiet! He'll hear you.>
"WHAT! You ungrateful little bitch! You took him inside you, didn't you?" The doctor's eyes blazed. He locked his hands on her shoulders and shook her violently.
Logan felt his consciousness shift as he sought out his own body. He rose up with a roar and ran, charging through the glass. The doctor threw Lena roughly to the floor, ran to a control bank and threw a few switches. Then Logan felt blinding pain as an electric current ran through him. The same current hit Lena. He saw her body arch upward from the pain as the electric voice howled. The last thing he saw was her moving painfully towards the doctor as the room began to crackle with electricity. His vision went then but he could still hear.
"Not Galatea. Not bitch I am Lena. I am LENA!"
The doctor's hoarse screams were cut short. Logan heard him slump forward. Slowly, Lena made her way over to him.
"Oh, God, Logan, are you alright?" It was her voice now, not the synthesizer. It was rough and harsh and barely above a whisper but he knew it was hers. "Logan? John? Oh no! Oh God, no. Please Logan, please come back to me."
But he couldn't. All he could do was listen to her cry.
"I'm here, Lena. I'm here. Please you gotta hear me." He hollered out and that brought him out of the dream. He was sitting bolt upright in his own bed. The sheets were drenched with his sweat. His breath came in ragged gasps and his heart beat wildly.
Without thinking, he ran to her room. Before he got there, he knew that she wasn't there. She wasn't even in the house.
-------------------------------
He found her up on her rock. "Hey Lena. You mind some company?"
"No Logan, you can come up if you want."
When she could see him better, she got up and rushed to his side. "Good Lord, Logan! What do you think you're doing?"
"Coming to talk to you."
"How many times do I have to tell you that you shouldn't try to move when you're having a visual disturbance. You could hurt yourself."
"No I couldn't, not for long anyway. Sit down. Don't fuss over me."
"You sit down first. And don't tell me what to fuss over; I'll fuss over you as much as I damn well please."
"Good mornin' to you too, darlin'."
"Let me take a look at you." She wrapped a hand around the side of his neck and looked into his eyes.
"Wanna hear about the dream?"
"Sure," she replied, somewhat distracted by her work.
"It was the last night we were together in the Program's compound. The Doctor tried to kill us both. You remember that?"
She pulled her hand away and stared down into her lap. "Yeah, I remember."
"Why didn't you tell me about any of that?"
"I was hoping you wouldn't remember it, I guess."
"You saved my life, Lena. Why wouldn't you want me to remember it?"
"Well, at the time, it sure didn't seem like I saved your life. And anyway, I wasn't supposed to be saving you. I promised you that if it got that bad, I would end your pain; I would make sure they couldn't use you anymore. But I couldn't do it. It was the only promise you ever asked of me and I let you down."
"But now we know you did the right thing. You shouldn't still feel bad about that."
"I spent fifteen years feeling bad about it. It's not that easy to stop."
"Does it help at all to know that I don't think any less of you for it? I didn't have any business putting such a burden on you in the first place. You were just a kid. And you were sick; you were so sick. I don't know why I didn't think of it. Three years in a boxbody can't sustain itselfI should've realized." He paused for a moment and looked up to see the tears dripping from her eyes.
He pulled her closer to him and wiped her tears away. "That's what you didn't want me to remember. You didn't want me to remember what you looked like, did you?"
"They messed with my perception of time. I didn't have any idea how long I'd been in the machine. When I looked into that mirror and I sawI wasn't even human anymore. I looked like something that had crawled out from under a rock. And you were horrified; I could feel it. Just like he said you would be."
"I was horrified because I was worried for you. I could feel how ashamed you were. And I didn't know how I was gonna get you out of there. It didn't look like you'd last more than a day without life-support."
"No, I wouldn't have."
"How did you ever get out of there?"
"I pushed my consciousness into the first guard that touched me. I used him to get off base and find the cabin you told me about. Took me a couple of weeks to get everything set up. Then I smuggled my body out of the facility. I spent the next six months learning how to function again, how to walk and talk and keep solid food down. Some days, I didn't ever think I'd get there."
"And you did all that without any help?"
She nodded her head. "There wasn't anybody else left."
He lifted her face to look into her eyes. "I think you just might be one of the strongest people I have ever met. You sure as hell didn't let me down." He hugged her tighter, "You are beautiful, Lena, every bit of you. The kinda light that shines in you, that bastard could never take away, not if he kept you in that box for a hundred years. Don't you ever think you need to hide anything from me."
"Logan?"
"Yeah?"
"I wanna try somethin'."
"Okay."
"Okay. Settle back against this rock. Try to get comfortable." Once he was in place, Lena moved in to sit beside him. She untucked her shirt and placed his hand on her bare waist and he felt her flow through his body. Gradually, he became aware that she had opened herself up to him completely. He could feel what she felt and see what she saw. He was thrown for a minute but then he settled down into the warm energy of the connection. They watched the sunrise together. With her weak eyes, the sun was too bright to look at directly. Instead, she watched the transformation of everything touched by the light. He cuddled closer, loving her for finding a way to see the beauty.
<I love you, Logan. I don't want to hide anything from you anymore.>
A feeling of joy welled up inside of him and bounced between them until it made them both shiver and laugh out loud. They settled back into a happy silence, still maintaining the connection.
<So, what is this, Lena? How is this happening?>
<We're attuned. We probably have been since the first time I took you inside me. See, I wasn't wrong about there being something funky going on with my powers.>
<But it's not telepathy?>
<Nope, it's better. It's a closed channel. The only way a telepath can hear is by being attuned too.>
<Kovacs?>
<He used the machine to force it. You're the only person I've willingly taken in.>
For a second, the connection weakened as she thought of Kovacs. Logan sought her out.
<Pretty good-smell girl so soft/warm, sweet to feel/hold. Not let girl feel sad-thing. Rub girl nownownow.>
<Huh?>
Now it was Logan dropping the connection. He half turned away from her, avoiding her eyes.
"Logan?"
"I'm sorry, Lena. I didn't mean to let him out."
"Hey," she pulled his chin around so that she could look into his eyes. "This is a two-way thing you know? I'm letting you see all of me. I want to see all of you." She pulled her hands away from him, holding them out so that he could re-establish the connection if he wanted to.
Very carefully, he took her hand. The connection sparked up again and she slowly sought out the beast. He very consciously willed himself to relax. He felt her reach out towards it and make contact. To Logan, it felt exactly as if someone were scratching him behind the ears.
<Mmm, Lena, what are you doing?>
<I'm petting your pooch.> He could feel her devilish smile. <I sent him some endorphins.>
<He likes that.>
<I know.> She pulled back a bit and grabbed his other hand. <Okay, my turn. Don't freak, okay?>
<Okay.>
He felt a tugging sensation and his world shifted. If he had to describe the device he was looking at, he would have said that it looked like the innards of a pipe organ. He was surrounded by dozens of pipes and there was a vastness to the size of the chamber. As he tried to find her, he became aware of all the rhythms in the air. It was like an organ, it was playing something beautiful and complex. Then he realized that she was all around him. <Lena?>
<It's not exactly a puppy, but do you understand?>
<It's you. This is you?>
<Yes, but listen, the music? That's us.>
She pulled the rhythms out one by one and he could see that they were heartbeats, brainwaves, and respiration, all the rhythms of their bodies.
<My God. You are beautiful, Lena.>
<So are you, Logan.>
She giggled out loud as she felt the distinct sensation of something licking her face.
<Oh, ah, don't mind him.>
<I don't mind him; I like him. He loves me.>
<I just wish I could control him better. He's behaving now, but that's just because you're having your monthly. In a week, he's going to want to do a lot more than lick your face.>
He felt her surprise. <Sorry, you probably didn't need to know that I knew about your period, huh?>
<Oh, I knew that, I'm just surprised that you fight so hard to control him. I kind of wish you'd control him less.>
"What?"
"Well, I mean, Good Lord, it seems to me like we've waited long enough. I don't know why you just don't let us get it over with."
For a moment he just stared at her wide-eyed. Then he began slowly, because he pretty much had to accept by now that Lena was soft in the head, "I don't want to take you when you're still afraid of me. How many ways do I have to put that?"
"I'm not" She sighed and squared her shoulders. "I'm afraid, Logan. I'm terrified. But not of you. I'm scared of sex and I'm not gonna stop being scared until I have it."
"Why would you be frightened of sex?"
"Are you kidding? Jesus, I can't even get the kissing part right. I don't know what I'm doing wrong and you won't tell me."
"You're not doing anything wrong, Lena."
"Then how come you always make me stop?"
"Because you're not doing anything wrong!"
"But that doesn't make any sense!" She pounded her fists into his thighs to emphasize her point.
He grabbed her hands and pulled her closer, "Because you're doing everything so right that I'm about to lose control again just like that day at the lake. Is that what you want?"
"What do you think happened at the lake?"
"God, Lena, don't make me say it."
"I'm sorry. This is important. What do you think happened that day?"
"I lost control of him and he wanted to take you and it was all I could do to stop from raping you."
"Listen to me, Logan. You couldn't rape me, not without a jumbo roll of saran wrap and a real determined attitude."
"What?"
She grabbed his hand. "Move your arm."
His arm tingled and went numb. "I can't."
"Damn straight you can't. Now do you get it?"
"Yeah, I guess I never thought of that. But it doesn't change what my intentions were."
"Nah, I'm fighting you on that one too. You were feeling a lot of possessiveness but there wasn't any violence behind it. I would have felt it. You didn't want to hurt me, in fact, as I recall; you wanted me to feel good, really good." She shivered a bit, remembering.
"Lena, what did you think happened at the lake?"
She fiddled with the zipper of her sweatshirt before replying. "I thought that you really didn't like having your neck kissed."
"What?"
"Well. . . that was the last thing I was doing before you made me stop. Then, I thought maybe it was okay, 'cause we were going on to the next level but then you stopped again and I figured I don't know maybe I got my legs in the wrong place maybe the neck thing was still bugging you."
For a moment he couldn't even reply. Finally, he began again. "So, you're not afraid of me?"
"No."
"You were just frightened of getting something wrong?"
"Yes."
"And you thought that I wasn't attracted to you?"
"Well, I was considering the possibility."
"That's what last night was all about? You wanted to see if guys were attracted to you?"
"Well, yeah, kinda. Cay thought it would boost my confidence."
"But you're not afraid of me?"
She let out an exasperated sigh. "I am not afraid of you; I have never been afraid of you; I will never be afraid of you. Got it?"
"Oh yeah? Well, I am attracted to you; I'm always gonna be attracted to you and when we have sex, it is going to be good sex!"
"Well, fine then."
"Yeah, good."
Their eyes met and they both broke up, laughing. "Logan, we're idiots!"
"I know. At least we have each other. I'd hate like hell to see somebody else stuck with one of us. I'm sorry. It sounds like this could have been a lot easier."
"I'll tell you what, Logan. You've been making all the deals so far. Here's my deal, if you trust me to know when I'm ready, I'll trust you to want me. What do you say?"
"I say, I'm hoping it won't take you too long to be ready." He smiled at her.
"Don't worry about that. If I don't get some action soon, I'm gonna pop."
"So I'm guessing that's just as soon as you get done with your monthly?"
"You think you can hold off a few more days?"
"If yer what's waiting at the end of it? Hell yeah." They shared a smile.
"Ya wanna head back down?"
"Yeah we'd probably better." She stood up and brushed off her pants. "Oh, and Logan?"
"Yeah Lane?"
"The knowing by smell that someone is having their period thing? Annie must never know about that."
"Woo, yeah. Good point, I'll remember that." They climbed down from the rock and walked, arm-in-arm, towards the mansion.
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