Disclaimer: Lena, Caleb, Annie, assorted bar patrons and fastfood clerks are the products of my fevered imagination. Everyone else in the story is property of Marvel. Uncredited song lyrics are from the Golden Palominos.
"Ya know, Logan, you don't have to stick around here tonight. I'm not gonna be much company."
"That's okay, darlin'. You just go ahead and put on some good music and I'll get started on this so-called stumper ya set up for me."
She smiled back at him. She wasn't drunk, but she could definitely feel the alcohol in her system. If he wanted to hang out in the lab, she figured there wasn't really any harm in that. Friends would do that. "Good luck, you're gonna need it. It took Caleb two full nights to break it." She leaned over his shoulder and typed a command into the keyboard. "There, just follow the prompts and see if you can figure it out."
He watched her fire up her machine on the way over to her sound system. He noticed again how rarely she wasted movement. Every move she made fit into the arc of the next one. Soon the room filled with music. The song was something he hadn't heard before but that was nonetheless familiar to him.
"Who's that now? Voice sounds familiar." Logan sat backwards on a chair and watched her as she worked.
"Huh? Oh, that's Robbie Robertson."
"Guy was in The Band, right?"
"Yep, he's a Canuck too, see yer not the only Canadian I'm fond of."
It hit him, a memory of her. "You used to give me no end of hell about bein' Canadian didn't you?"
"No!" The big grin on her face said differently.
"You sure as hell did! I remember it now."
"Logan, I never made fun of you for being Canadian. I made fun of you for being in the Canadian Military. I mean come on, what exactly did you have to defend people from? Some evil mastermind who wanted to control the National Hockey Federation? Some other country angered by your monopoly on pelt production? I been up there, Logan. Ain't a blessed thing but snow and bears!"
Anyone else wouldn't have been caught dead dissing Canada to his face. But, he reflected, Lena certainly wasn't anyone else. Still, she couldn't go unpunished. "You just signed yer own death warrant, little lady." With a roar, he leapt and started tickling her. He remembered where Caleb always concentrated his attacks so he homed in on those areas. But she was an old veteran of these sorts of shenanigans and she gave him a devil of a time. He should have guessed that she'd know where to get him.
Soon they were on the floor of the computer room. He had both of her hands in one of his but her boots were off and she could attack just as easily with her feet. Finally she wiggled one hand out of his grip and forced him down. She straddled his chest to keep him down while she tried to get at his neck. He got both of her hands in his own and now neither had anything to attack with. For a moment, they were at an impasse.
They were both laughing hard now and red in the face. She seemed so beautiful to him, so full of life and childlike glee. He was so glad to have her back. Relieved to finally have her trust again. He loved the sound of her laughter. It was like the peal of bells. It filled his heart. He broke the hold she had on his hands and rolled over on top of her. "Oh darlin', I'm so crazy about you." He bent his head down and kissed her. She responded to him in kind.
For a moment, the kiss stopped everything. They did not breathe. Their hearts did not beat. They floated together, outside of time. Then, all hell broke loose. Just like the first kiss, a blood rush hit them both. Logan's hands found their way under her shirt and down her pants. She moved her mouth down to his neck and planted sharp, sucking kisses all along his collarbone. Logan fought to regain control of himself. He was finally able to pull away for a moment and that moment gave Lena the time to come to her senses.
"Oh god, Logan. I I'm sorry," Lena sputtered as she pulled away and tried to rearrange her clothes.
"No Lena, don't be sorry, darlin'. That was definitely both of us this time. I swear it'll be okay. We just gotta take it slow. Please, Lena, ya gotta trust me." He could smell the fear rising in her and he was desperate not to let it win. "Let's just go back a bit, okay?" She was shaking her head, staring at nothing, but he pressed on and drew her back into his arms. He lifted her chin and kissed her again. This time he was ready for the rush and he controlled it. Then he felt the wetness on his cheek; she was crying. He tried to brush the tears away but they kept coming. "Why Lena? You don't have to cry, it's gonna be fine. You'll see."
"Logan, you don't understand. I don't I can't" She wanted to die. The only thing she had ever truly wanted was this, to be in his arms, to be his love and she knew it could never be. Kovacs himself couldn't have devised a crueler torture. She wished, for the first time, that Logan hadn't found her again. She struggled to pull out of his arms.
"Ya don't what? Want me? I told you already that you can't lie to me about somethin' like that." He didn't want to let her go. He was sure he'd lose her outright if he did. "Lena, I care about you. I'd never do anything to hurt you, you gotta know that." As the words left his mouth, a dark thought came to him. "Lena, back in the Program, did I did I ever hurt you or try to to?" He couldn't bring himself to say it.
"No Logan, God no! You would never hurt me. You have to believe me."
"Then what are you so afraid of?"
"Me, Logan, I'm afraid of myself. Something isn't right. I can't can't talk about this. Please let me go." She tried again to break out of his grip but he wouldn't allow it.
"Well I'm not afraid of you. And I'm not gonna let you run away from this. I can't, Lena. It's too important."
"I can't return your feelings, Logan. I can't give you what you want. I'm so sorry."
"Then tell me what the hell just happened, Lena. Did I dream it? Did I make it up in my head? It goddamned well felt like you returning my feelings. Why are you fighting this?" He was frustrated now, angry and it showed in his voice. It only served to make the tears stream down her face faster.
"Please Logan, I don't want to hurt you. I have to go. Please let me go."
"Not until you tell me what's going on." Then he felt the strength draining from his arms. "Lena, don't you dare!"
"I have to!" She cried and broke from his weakening grip. She ran from the room and did not stop until she had locked her bedroom door behind her.
He howled and kicked the wall, furiously waiting for feeling to return to his arms. After he could move again, he got up and noticed with surprise that she had yanked his shirt open, pulling off every button. It just made him angrier. He knew he was too mad to confront her now. So he headed out into the night and cut a path of destruction through the neighboring woods.
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The rest of the breakfast dishes went into the dishwasher; Lena poured in the soap and set it to run. She turned around and he was there, not more than a foot away from her.
"Mornin' Lena."
"Logan. I uh" She tried to shrink away from him only to run into the sink.
"How'd you sleep last night?" He moved closer to her. "I didn't."
"I I'm sorry about that." She tried to get past him but he put his arm out to block her. She could hear his heartbeat; feel the heat coming from his body. "Logan, please."
"No, Lena. I want to talk to you." She grabbed at his arm with her hand but he was too fast for her. He caught both of her sleeves and pulled her arms out in front of her. "Don't even think about it. Trick's not gonna work twice." He held on to both of her arms with one hand and used the other to push the rest of her forward, out the door, off the porch and all the way up to the lake with him before he allowed her to stop.
"Look, Logan this isn't what you think it is."
"What the hell is it then?"
"We've been working too closely together. It's my skin, my power. You've become so used to the effects of my touch that you're mistaking it for something deeper."
"That's a load of crap, Lena." He came up behind her, wrapped his arms around her and whispered right into her ear. "If that's so, why do ya smell so good?" he ran his hands up her front and breathed in deep through his nose. "Mm And ya do smell good, Lena. That ain't got nothin' to do with yer power. How come yer melting right into my arms?" He spun her around and kissed her softly, pulled her into his arms, tight against his body. "And what about that heartbeat?" He murmured. "Your heart's about ready to jump right out of you, darlin'. Think I don't know it?"
"Logan." She couldn't clear her head. Somewhere, in the distance, the voice of reason was screaming that she was headed for disaster. She just couldn't stop liking what he was doing to her. The feel of his big, strong hands roaming over her as if they owned her, the vibration and heat of his voice as he seduced her, the shock of his touch as she felt his blood rush and discovered where it was rushing to; it made her knees go weak. It was just like the night before.
"Tell me you don't want me, Lena"
"Logan, I can't"
"No, don't say 'can't' again, Lena." He held a finger to her lips. "We both know ya can. You can want me so hard that you got me on the edge of taking ya right here and anyone who wants to stroll on out to the porch can enjoy the show as far as I care." He twined his fingers in her soft hair and pulled her head to the side, exposing her neck. He kissed her neck, slow, soft and deep, nosing his way under her collar. "Go on, Lena, tell me you want this to stop. Tell me ya don't want it."
One minute more and nothing in the world would matter as much as his touch. He wasn't going to let go and he wasn't going to give up. She did the only thing she could think of to get away. She went down into herself and hid.
Logan felt her body go limp in his arms. "Lena?" He laid her down gently and smacked her lightly on the cheek. "Lena, are you okay?" His growing concern was soon tempered by his realization of what she had done. The muscle of his jaw twitched and tightened. He took her hands in his own. "You did it on purpose didn't you? You come back out here right now. I'm not through with you and you ain't getting away that easy." He closed his eyes and tried to feel Lena. He knew from the sessions that he could follow her and find her as her consciousness moved in his body. He was betting he could find her on the other side as well.
<Lena, I'm gonna find you. You can't hide from me.>
Her body shook and her eyes flew open as she sat up. "Logan, how did you?"
"'Cause I want you. When I want somethin', Lena, I get it."
"No Logan, not this time. I'm sorry, something's wrong. I don't want this. I need to see Henry. Something's changed since the surgery. I'm sorry that it's affecting you so strongly. We should probably keep our distance while I get this straightened out."
"Henry ain't got no cure for this, Lena. You really gonna lie right to my face?"
"I can't help it if you think it's a lie, Logan!" She snapped. "I've got to get out of here." She walked back down to the house and he let her.
"Yer winnin' the battles, Lena. Ya ain't gonna win the war." He muttered, grimly.
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