Alpha Male Chapter Twenty-Eight - Understanding by LoganLuvr
Logan was losing it, he could feel himself teetering on the edge... she was ready, and all he needed to do was undo his pants, and ... Shit! She was right there, pushing herself into him... she was completely naked under his shirt. As if she sensed what he was thinking, she slowly, nervously slid her hands down between them, finding his hardness there, and exploring him through his jeans. He couldn't take it any more... it was too much. He pulled his mouth away from hers and growled loudly, shaking his head, his eyes closed in agony.
He took her gently by the shoulders and pushed her away from him, moaning and closing his eyes when he saw the gentle curve of her breasts where his shirt had come open. She was embarrassed and confused, she had gone too far... She pulled his shirt around her tightly, and looked up at him, licking her swollen, red lips and swallowing nervously. " Ari what the Hell are you doing?," he croaked. He could tell he was upsetting her, but he was exasperated, he had to have some answers. " Didn't ya' just tell me, not an hour ago that ya' didn't want me... that ya' didn't wanna' do this?"
She swallowed, her body was shaking hard, and she didn't understand what he was asking. She shook her head, " No, Logan... I never said I didn't want you... I mean... I didn't want THAT... what you were going to do... but..."
He dropped his head and sighed, she had lost her focus, and he needed to snap her back to reality.
"You said ya' didn't want ta' be stuck with me... ya' saw all the women... in my head... Is any of this sounding the LEAST bit familiar? "
She shook her head slowly, frowning and trying to figure out what he was talking about. " No, Logan I said I didn't want YOU to be stuck with ME... I saw the kind of women you want... what they're like... how they dress. Logan, they know how to DO things... they know what you want them to do... I don't know anything... I'm not... your "type"." She swallowed, Logan was frowning deeply, starting to comprehend what she was saying.
" Ari, that kind of thing can be taught... Hell, it turns me on just sittin' in the same room with you... those kind of women have got nothin' on you, Darlin'."
" ...but... what about... Jean. I felt how you feel about her... and she's so beautiful, and ..."
Logan was aghast. " She's married, Ari... I'll admit, I used ta' have a thing for her, but she chose Scott... Is this all that's been botherin' you?"
She swallowed, shaking her head. " I took your freedom away, I made your choice for you..." He broke in, " But you made me forget... that had ta' hurt, Ari... and you did it for me... ta' save my life."
She shook her head slowly, a tear running down her face, " I did it for myself... if you had died, I would have died. Choosing you was the easiest thing I've ever done... it was TOO easy... I wanted you from the moment I met you... I..." The look on Logan's face was priceless, if she had been looking at him, she would have seen... he was beginning to understand that she wanted him, she had wanted him all along. She had been denying herself so that he wouldn't be trapped in a relationship that he didn't choose.
She was still babbling on about reasons and explanations and guilt, but he didn't care, he watched her talk, listened to the sound of her low, soft voice. He wanted her... he knew it was a risk, she had said that the bond between them would become permanent if they made love, but she was worth the risk. He wasn't a forever kind of guy, but if it meant feeling like this for the rest of his life... What the Hell?
"... it's too late for me, I already belong to you, I gave myself to you, and I can never forget..." he broke her off, speaking quietly, " Ari, shut up." She looked up at him, frowning, tears rolling down her cheeks, "No, Logan, I have to make you understand..."
" I choose you," he said softly, smiling.
Her eyes flew to his... " What did you...?"
" I said I choose you, too."
She shook her head quickly, " No, Logan, please don't say that... you don't understand the risk..."
" You're worth the risk, Darlin'." As she tried to protest further, he drew her back to himself, and placed his mouth gently on hers, kissing her softly, tenderly. When he was finished, she looked into his eyes, hers already half-closed with desire. " Are you sure...?" He nodded. " Hell, yes, I'm sure." He was smiling ear to ear as he looked at every inch of her face, her beautiful yellow eyes, her nose, her luscious mouth. His eyes moved to her hair, and his face fell, along with his heart... her hair was still had a few twigs and leaves in it and they reminded him of how he had treated her earlier.
Logan reached up and pulled a few twigs from her hair, then looked over for the brush he had knocked onto the floor. He retrieved it and reached up behind her head, to pull the band out of her hair, letting it fall down softly around her shoulders. He raised up, onto his knees, leaning over her and started brushing, softly, tenderly picking things out of her hair. Ari sighed and relaxed, enjoying the mind-numbing feelings that were flowing through her body.
Ari looked at his strong, beautiful body in front of her, his arms raised, she watched his muscles flex with movement under his tight black shirt. His dog-tags were at eye-level and they jingled slightly as he moved. He smelled like Heaven, she wanted him so bad, and this was just taking too long. She reached up and took the brush from his hand, standing on shaky legs to brush her hair. He watched her stand, saw his shirt move over her body, saw her shapely legs... he looked up at her in the mirror and noticed that his shirt was still open slightly. As she brushed her hair, it opened and closed softly, revealing the beautiful body underneath. He moaned and stood up slowly, stretching his legs. He moved up behind her and gently reached around her, placing his hands carefully on the soft, smoothness of her stomach.
Logan moved his hands slowly around on her belly, he knew that she had enjoyed that before... he had seen her in the shower. Ari put the brush down on the counter and closed her eyes, placing her hands on top of his, and feeling the pleasure flow through her body. " Logan..." she said softly. " Mmm?'" he asked burying his face in her hair. " I... I want you to..." She licked her lips and swallowed. " ... I want you to...do this again." She lifted the hair off of the back of her neck and Logan lowered his face to kiss her, then gasped when he saw her neck. " My God!" he exclaimed. She turned quickly looking back at him, her eyes wide, worried." What, Logan?" His face was a mask of pain, he closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. " Shit! " She asked again, " What is it?"
When he spoke, his voice was full of sorrow, torture, " Your neck is... there's teeth marks and ... bruises... God! What the Hell is wrong with me anyway?" She turned in his arms, putting her hands to his face. " Logan, I said that I forgave you... I understand..." He cut her off, furious with himself, " How the Hell can you understand THAT? I don't even understand it myself!"
"... but I do... I understand you...," It struck her what she needed to do, she knew how to make him understand. She took him by the hand and led him into her room, led him to the bed, and sat him down on the edge, then faced him. " What are..," he started to ask, looking up into her eyes, confused. She placed a finger on his lips, and told him to close his eyes. He closed his eyes, frowning. Ari slid her fingers up into his hair softly and felt a shudder run through his body. Smiling, she told him to concentrate.
" What're ya' gonna' do, make me forget what I did?," he asked, opening his eyes and looking up at her.
"No, ... I want you to always remember what you did, so that you never let yourself get to that point again. Mistakes are the lessons of life... now shush, and let me show you why I understand you." He closed his eyes again and took a deep breath, concentrating on her. Ari concentrated hard, too... this was much easier for her when someone was unconscious..." Can you see me, Logan?," she asked quietly. " You told me to close my eyes..." he started to say. " No, I mean in here..." she gently pressed her fingers against his scalp, letting him know what she meant. Logan concentrated
harder.
" Yes...," Logan whispered. " You're beautiful... just like in my dreams." Chills ran through her body,
"Thank you," she said softly. She spoke to him through the wolf..." Logan, I want you to remember everything about the day that I was here. I want you to remember what we... shared together... what I told you about yourself, but most of all... I want you to remember what I told you about what I did to the men who killed my father."
She opened her eyes and watched him, a little frown was playing across his brow as he remembered. His breathing became quicker and he put his arms around her and held her tightly. After a few minutes, he opened his eyes and looked deeply into hers, frowning. It was the most serious she had ever seen him. " Did you really kill them?" he asked, barely above a whisper. She nodded. " Shit!"
She swallowed and struggled with what to say next. " Logan, you and I... we are capable of terrible things... horrible things... but... " she sighed, " we are also capable of great things..." She kissed him softly on the forehead. " We just have to work harder at balancing it than most people do... but with each other's help... I think we'll be fine." She looked into his eyes, " Do you believe me now?"
Logan nodded slowly and pulled her to him, holding her tightly for a long time. She understood.
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